Kiss The Sky (1998)- R

The movie “Kiss the Sky” has many flaws. Segments of the film keep flashing back to me making this movie hard to dismiss though, and the lengthy and explicit sexual threesome scene is one such flashback moment. However, the strongest flashbacks are of Jeff and Marty’s confessions that their lives have no meaning or purpose.

Jeff (William L. Petersen) and Marty (Gary Cole) are long time friends. They both are depressed. They believe their lives are going nowhere. On a trip to the Philippines they both fall in love with the same woman, Andy, (Sheryl Lee), and yes, she falls in love with both of them. Jeff and Marty believe in sharing and so does Andy. Sometimes the sharing is in the same bed and sometimes Jeff gets Monday and Marty gets Tuesday. Andy gives them both erotic pleasure but also hope for a new beginning in life.

“Kiss the Sky”, with all of its flaws, gives respect to male depression. This is the type of depression that is mindful and seeks meaning. This type of depression is dangerously close to suicide. The film gives value to the friendship of these men. The friendship, along with sex that they share with a woman, gives them hope.

I think film provides many expressions for female bonding around sex that lead to hope. A few examples are Sex in the City, The L-Word and Waiting to Exhale. Kiss the Sky comes close to a achieving this for men.

YPF (2007)- UR

YPF stands for Young People Fucking. This very very funny film follows one evening with 5 different couples as they make love. The five stories are divided into Prelude; Foreplay; Sex; Interlude; Orgasm; and Afterglow. There are five separate stories. There is a lot of sex and nudity, but YPF is not so much an erotic film. It is more focused on the relationships of the couples and the awkwardness of trying to get laid. Each couple has there own issue as to why this task is not simple. This is a true laugh out loud movie.

Bliss (1997)- R

Bliss is an important film that deals with three rarely discussed issues. The issues are childhood sexual abuse from a parent, the resulting marital sexual problems and finally the complexity of sexual healing. The film has had a small audience perhaps in part because of discomfort with these topics.

Joseph (Craig Sheffer) and Maria (Sheryl Lee) know from the start of their marriage that they have problems. Maria is unable to have an orgasm but that problem is the least of their troubles. Traditional mental health services prescribed long-term intensive psychotherapy yet this seems to offer little benefit for Maria. She then seeks an alternative therapy that includes Tantra sexual techniques and sexual surrogate treatment. That’s right, having sex with your therapist. Not surprisingly, Marie does not tell Joseph of her new treatment. Joseph accidentally finds out and is not pleased! The therapy turns from Maria to Joseph as he first threatens the therapist (Terence Stamp), then engages in treatment himself and finally facilitates Maria’s healing. The film’s sexuality is graphic and at times erotic.

Bliss presents a story of people taking very risky actions to heal themselves and their marriage. It presents the accurate dilemma of how only talking in traditional psychotherapy without experimenting with new actions rarely improves sexual health problems or for that matter, any problem. This is an important healing truth for the estimated 30% of people that have experienced some sort of childhood sexual abuse. Many adult sexual health problems are linked to these experiences. Bliss is a film that should be seen by all sexual abuse survivors. Moreover, it demonstrates strategies that could be helpful to all of us who want to improve our sexual health and sexual enjoyment. Most importantly the film demonstrates a couple deeply in love and willing to take significant risk to save their relationship.

I have not been a big fan of Tantra sexuality, mainly because of the near religious enthusiasm of its proponents. However, Bliss successfully peels away the healing Tantra techniques from the zealous eastern philosophy. Joseph experiences the healing qualities of Tantra in Bliss. This leads Maria to talk through the details of sexual intercourse with her father which began at age five. This scene is reason alone to see this movie.

Bliss is not a perfect film, yet it succeeds in both adult entertainment and adult education. This is a film for mature audiences, those mature, not just in age but also in capacity to address uncomfortable topics.

Private Lesions (1981)- R

I do not believe this film could be made today. The storyline follows a wealthy adolescent boy played by Eric Brown seeking sexual excitement. He spies on a family maid, played by the very attractive Sylvia Krestel. The maid and the family butler conspire to sexually seduce the boy and then blackmail the family. The plot is thin and the acting is worse, with the exception of Eric and Sylvia. The film is controversial even today, because of highly erotic and explicit sexual scenes of an older women and younger boy. What makes this film noteworthy is the very real life “non-acting” of a sexually immature boy and a very sexually mature older woman.

I was amazed at how young the directors made Eric Brown appear until I researched his age. The film was released when he was 16 which made him 14-15 when the film was produced. He looks every bit of 14 in the film. Sylvia Krestel, from Emmanuel II fame, was 27 at the time of the filming. The film contains a number of highly explicit sex scenes between these two actors. One scene is where they bath together and Eric Brown is clearly fondled beneath the water while enjoying Sylvia Krestel’s breasts. The acting reflects the real life awkwardness and embarrassment of a young boy. Simultaneously, Krestel plays the real life comforter and almost nurturer as she tries to makes him feel comfortable in this very erotic scene. Maybe that is what makes the scene so erotic.

Both today and in 1981 the actions in this film violated the statutory rape and child pornography laws in many states. Nevertheless, this film captures the erotic fantasies of most 15 year old boys and is a major theme in erotic films for both adult men and women. Recently, there have been a number of highly published convictions of female high school teachers taking similar liberties with their students. The film does a good job in capturing the ideal fantasy of an older lover guiding a younger person into their first sexual experience. Unfortunately, in real life these encounters frequently leave both young men and women feeling distraught. The hormones of the young people work fine but the emotions are working at a much younger age.

En La Cama (2005)- NR

Is this a lasting treasure
Or just a moments pleasure
Can I believe the magic in your eyes
Will you still love me tomorrow

I thought of the lyrics of Carol King after seeing Matias Bizes excellent film En La Cama (In the Bed). There are few albums that capture a generation. Carol Kings Tapestry surely is one. The haunting lyrics tell about sex, tell about being a woman and tell about being human. Her lyrics capture so much more than 1971 feminism. They capture the wish of a generation to embrace a freer sexuality without dishonoring its value. Carol Kings lyrics are the better prayers of my generation.

As with the lyrics of Tapestry, the dialogue in En La Cama will haunt you for many days. We meet the couple in a hotel room bed making love. The couple found each other at a friend’s party. They do not know each others first names. Over the next hour and 25 minutes we watch the couple make love two more times. The scenes are explicit with ample nudity. However, between these brief explicit scenes we are riveted by their dialogue.

This is a story about a one night stand, a one night sexual emotional experience. Both partners know they will likely never see each other again. The talk begins with playful games of ‘do you remember my name?’ It leads to multiple and sometime painful deceptions then disclosures. As with psychotherapy, it ends with each finding out more about themselves then their partner.

This Chilean movie with sub-titles is filmed solely from a hotel room. Even with subtitles the screenplay of this film is brilliant. As with the lyrics of Tapestry, the words will remind you of your own brief love experiences. People who the chemistry was perfect, the intimacy immediate and who were just as quickly gone. Maybe the chemistry was so perfect because it was only for one night.

A Walk on the Moon (1999)-R; Unfaithful (2002)- R

Over the course of three years Diane Lane, a talented and subtle actress, starred in a pair of films with similar plots but strikingly different resolutions. In each film Lane portrays a mother who is also wife to a devoted, hard-working husband. And in each she is also a woman who finds something missing in her life. She wants something more. In both films she enters an affair with an attractive poet-artist-musician. The sex is passionate and explicit. However, in Unfaithful (based on Claude Chabrol's 1969 classic La Femme Infidele, and for which Lane received a Best Actress Oscar nomination) the affair ends in tragedy; the husband, played by Richard Gere, commits murder. In A Walk on the Moon the Lane character's husband, this one played by Liv Schreiber, successfully brings an end to the affair in a rather more positive, humane and satisfactory fashion; in an effort to rekindle their lost sexual excitement he attempts to learn to dance. I vote for the second ending and also enjoyed A Walk on the Moon much more than Unfaithful.

The failure of film and our culture to understand the subtle nature and full dimensions of extra-marital sex represents a failure to grapple with its complexity. Better films, regardless of the plot, are more engaging because they present three-dimensional characters, and avoid trite, simplistic, overly moralistic "lessons" for the viewer. Set in the year 1969, when astronauts first landed on Earth's closest neighbor and young people gamboled at Woodstock, A Walk on the Moon presents us with four complex characters who by turns reveal their complex reactions to extra-marital sex. This quartet; wife, husband, teenage daughter and mother-in-law, are all simultaneously able sincerely espouse the notion that the extramarital sex is wrong, and yet at the same time acknowledge their need to find something more in their life.

Anna Paguin, who was brilliant in The Piano (1993)-R, plays Lane's teenage. Paguin gives a wonderful performance as a daughter in deep and angry conflict with her mother, who rushes to have her own sexual experience and then is terrified by the prospect of her parents break-up. Lane is also excellent as a woman who experiences very erotic pleasure for the first time, yet lovingly attempts to protect and care for her distraught daughter. This is drama with much depth, complexity and ultimately a generous helping of sweet humanity.

In addition to its Aquarian setting, the film plays out against the backdrop of Jewish culture as expressed in summer family camps in the Catskills. The presentation of American Jewish life in the '60s is both entertaining and again presents a lesson about the complexity of extra-marital sex. Finally, the sex scenes are both erotic and explicit. The film captures very beautiful and erotic love-making scenes at a waterfall. For those seeking an enjoyable, entertaining and positively erotic film, this one is highly recommended

Something About Sex (1998)- R

Something About Sex reveals private aspects of the lives of three married couples. The film seems to suggest that, like the six protagonists, each of us has his or her own sexual secret, an element of our selves that we fail to share even with those to whom were are the closest.

The three couples meet for a dinner party that also includes an obnoxious author played by Jason Alexander from Seinfeld fame. The writer publishes stories revealing the affairs that men hide from their wives. Jason’s character boasts that all men are animals and simply cannot resist multiple sexual partners. This statement is strongly denounced by all six, yet as we soon see, it is accurate not only for the men but also for the women.

Research shows that only 25% of men and 15% of women, sometime in their marriage, experience extra-marital sex. The frequency of infidelity in the real world is not nearly as high as the 100% figure, but dry statistics are not what this film is about. Rather it observes the ambiguity of "the facts" of infidelity, and takes care to point out that sexual secrets are not limited to actual affairs and that while some affairs are "only" physical, while others are founded on emotional commitment- well, love actually. The movie accurately portray six versions of how people deal or do not deal with sexual secrets in their marriage. The dual themes of hypocrisy and secrecy were well done. Nothing was totally true and totally false; none of the characters were perfect.

Body Heat (1981)- R

I am probably the last person in North America that had not seen this erotic-thriller classic. For the other few people who have not seen this movie, it is about a women, played by Kathleen Turner, in an unhappy marriage who is reluctantly seduced by a handsome fast-talking lawyer, played by William Hurt. Well, we think she is reluctantly seduced, but we soon find out that the tables are being turned on who is seducing who and for what reason.

This film is a classic for two reasons. It first has a screenplay that keeps both the character played by William Hurt and the audience continuing to second guess motives and truth. He cannot determine truth but can only be intoxicated by passion which leads to greater and greater danger. The second reason is that the “heat” in Body Heat is really “hot.” This is a film where the passionate heat drips off the screen. The erotic scenes are actually mild in their explicit full body views, but very erotic in close up views, particularly of the actors’ expressions. This is a movie full of powerful sex, and scenes that both women and men will enjoy remembering when they need an erotic boost.

Lady Chatterley (2006)- NR

Film, like much of our popular culture, is obsessed by the topic of infidelity. Our feelings about affairs are so strong yet so paradoxical. Opinion polls say that 70% - 80% of people believe strongly that extra-marital sex is harmful. However, the subject remains one of the most popular and erotic in both contemporary and classic films and literature. Seven out of the last 28 Best Picture Academy Award winners featured infidelity as a major theme.
With a subject so popular one would think it is highly researched. In fact, the opposite is the truth. As documents by Adrian Blow’s excellent review of all published studies on infidelity since 1980 (Infidelity In Committed Relationships: A Methodological Review., Blow, Hartnett,. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy April 2005, Vol. 31, No. 2, 183–216, and Journal of Marital and Family Therapy April 2005, Vol. 31, No. 2, 217–233) the subject is poorly researched both by number of studies and quality of their design. Researchers cannot agree on the definition of infidelity (intercourse vs. romantic vs. cyber internet relationships, etc., etc.) and neither can the general public or Bill Clinton. Even when researchers agree to define it as genital intercourse, the few studies that document incidence varies from 50% of the population to 6%! However, most studies agree that it is closer to 25% of married men and 15% of married women that have had extra-marital sex sometime in their life. Many of these people have had only one event for when these same groups are asked if they have had extra-marital sex in the last 12 month the percent drops to under 2%. Finally, research cannot agree on how it affects a committed relationship. Though most studies document its painful impact, it is unclear if an affair is the cause of a poor relationship or is a product of a bad marriage. There are two studies that even document improved relationships as a result of affairs. Though research is unclear Hollywood is not. Infidelity in films is depicted as common, extremely erotic and dangerously destructive. This is why Lady Chatterley is such different and noteworthy film.

Lady Chatterley is a provocative and beautifully filmed story about the re-birth of a woman due in-part, to an affair. The film is based on D.H. Lawrence’s writing. Lawrence in fact, wrote 3 versions of this erotic story. Lady Chatterley is based on an earlier version and one where the erotic story develops slowly and where the characters are “softer.” This French film with English sub-titles is a story of a wealthy women Lady Chatterley played by Marina Hands. Her husband returns from WWI crippled both physically and spiritually. To escape her lifeless marriage she forms a friendship with the gardener, who has a cottage on their estate. The friendship turns both sexual and romantic. However, the real storyline in this movie is both more complex and more liberating.

Lady Chatterley is a captive in a prison of depression. Despite her wealth, she is enslaved in a house full of despair and hopelessness. Her Victorian society of the turn of the century keeps both her spirit and body wrapped in many layers. Lady Chatterley is a story about how a woman literally and figuratively removes these layers. Her freedom first comes from getting out of the house, walking in nature and enjoying the garden. The film has beautiful nature scenes. We walk with her through the woods and the camera spends as much time on a butterfly and the wild flowers as on the actors. Her freedom next comes with experiencing sex with a stranger. The sex scenes move from Lady Chatterley being a passive observer, to her first exploration of a man’s penis, to the discovery of her own passion and finally to teaching her lover the joys of running nude in the rain. Her final step to freedom is in the surprise ending where her new found freedom lifts the spirits of her husband and where she encourages her lover to enjoy the passion of his own wife!
The film provides an excellent road map for ending depression. A therapist certainly would not prescribe an affair, however a prescription would include getting out of your head and into your body and nature. It would include taking risks and changing your environment. I rented this film hoping that it would include the tasteful soft-core French eroticism similar to the movie “Emmanuelle” (1974-NR). Instead, this is a bold and complex film of sensuality, nature, sexuality and passion. This is also a film that cast a very different light on infidelity. It is very different than the painful outcomes of “Unfaithful (2002-R)”, “Indecent Proposal” (1993- R). and “Body Heat” (1981-R). The outcomes from Lady Chatterley are ones of hope, renewal, healing and movement towards honesty. The movie captures some of the complexities of affairs that the research lacks. One word of caution, stay with the film through its very slow moving first 20 minutes. You will be rewarded

Films Recommended for Viewing and Reviewed on this Site

Films Recommended and Reviewed
YPF (2007)- UR
Bliss (1997)- R
Private Lesions (1981)- R
En La Cama (2005)- NR
Unfaithful (2002)- R
A Walk on the Moon (1999)- R
Something About Sex (1998)- R
Body Heat (1981)- R
Lady Chatterley (2006)- NR
Beter Than Sex (2002)- R
Secret Things (2002)- NR
Sex and Lucia (2002)- R
Seventh Sense (1999)- NR
The Wedding Banquet (1993)- R
Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love (1997)- R
Nude Alaskan Cruise and the movie "Swinging: From Fantasy to Reality" (2004)- Educational
All The Ladies Do It (1992)- NR
Confusions of An Unmarried Couple (2006) –UR
Shortbus (2006)- UR
Kinsey (2004)- R
Loving Sex- Ultimate Massage (1998) - Educational
Frivolous Lola (1998)- NR
Lie With Me (2005)- NR
The Woodsman (2004)- R
Red Shoe Diary: The Movie: Special Edition (1992)- R
Sirens (1994)- R
Brown Bunny (2004) UR and The Door in the Floor (2004) R
Delta of Venus (1995)- NC17
Lady Chatterley's Lover (1981)- R
Brokeback Moutain (2005)- R
Friends & Lovers, Sex and Interviews with Real Couples (2005)- X
Anatomy of Hell (2004) - UR
Watching You (2003)-NR
Before Sunrise -R (1995) and Before Sunset -R (2004)
Tipping The Velvet (2002)- NR
One Night Stand (1997)- R
Romance- Director’s Cut (1999)- NR
Y Tu Mama Tambien (2001) – UR “And Your Mama Too”
Therese and Isabelle (1968)- UR
Eyes Wide Shut (1999)- R
The Lifestyle: Swinging in America (2000)- Documentary
Better than Chocolate (1999)- R
The Joys of Erotic Massage (Educational)
Emmanuelle (1974)-NR
9 Songs (2004)-NR
Secretary (2002)-R
Head in the Clouds (2004)-R
Xana & Dax: When Opposites Attract (2005)-X
The Mother (2003) -R
The Holy Land (2003)-R
My Best Friend's Wife (2001)-R
Malena (2000)-R
Pretty Baby (1978)-R
9 1/2 weeks (1986) - NR
The Piano (1993)-R
I, A Woman (1966)- UR
Sound of the Sea- (2001)-R
Bride of the Wind (2001)-R

Films Not Recommended for Viewing
Poison Ivy: The New Seduction (1997)- UR
Basic Instinct 2 (2006)- UR
Thief of Hearts (1984)- R
My Summer of Love (2005)- R
Paris, France (1994)- NC-17
Emmanuelle in Paradise
Emmanuella in Rio
Love's Passion -X
Poison Ivy (1992)- R
Two Moon Junction (1988)- R
Irreversible (2002)- UR

Films Recommended but not Reviewed
Unfaithful (2002 - R) See review "All the Ladies Do it"

Indecent Proposal (1993- R) See review "All the Ladies Do It"

Score (Radley Metzger Collection) (1972) - NR A dated but funny erotic story about a swinging couple's successful attept to seduce another couple. The film has some surprizing funny moments.

Splendor (1999) - R This is an interesting story of a young woman living with and loving (sexually and otherwise) two men.

Cheeky! (2000)- NR An erotic, entertaining and artistic “soft porn” film by Italian director Tinto Brass. It is a re-make and not as good as his 1992 film, “All the Ladies do it.”

OR (My Treasure) 2005- NRA touching and disturbing Israeli film showing a young girl following of her mother into prostitution. Dana Ivgy is amazing in her first film playing the 16 year old girl.

Bitter Moon (1992) – R. An erotic but often disturbing Roman Polanski film about a dysfunctional couple on a stormy cruise. The film contains a scene where Emmanuelle Seigner massages milk on her breasts for the pleasure and then consumption of Peter Coyote.

Monster's Ball (2001)- R. Halle Berry received best actress for her role as lover to the policeman who imprisoned her husband. The film has very erotic scenes of inter-racial lovemaking between Halle Berry and Billy Bob Thornton.

Gia (1998)- UR. The film has very explicit sex scenes with Angelina Jolie and Elizabeth Mitchell.

Striptease (1996)- NR A surprisingly funny and entertaining film with plenty of nude erotic dancing by Demi Moore. Be sure you see the European “NR” version and not the American PG-13 version.

Crash (1996)- NC17
Brief Crossing (2001)- NR
The Dreamers (2004)- NC17
Havoc (2005)- UR
Birth (2004)- R
If These Walls Could Talk 2 (2000)- R
Belle de Jour (1967)- R
The Governess (1998)- R
Young Lady Catterly (1977)-NC17
Intimacy (2001)- NR
Zandalee (1991)- R
Wild Orchid (1990)- R

Better Than Sex (2002)- R

Better than Sex is a warm and humorous film about anonymous sex that leads to falling in love. It is one of those films where the main characters (Josh played by David Winham and Cin played by Susie Porter) talk to the audience about what they are thinking and feeling, which as you can guess, is frequently different than what they are saying. Josh and Cin plan only to have a one night sexual event. The one night stretches into three days and then more. The sex is good and only gets better. The film is a fine romantic story that has some good, though non-explicit, sex scene. The film’s name is a little misleading because what gets better in the film is, in fact, the sex. This is a good film for couples feeling bored. It contains many ideas about how to spice up you sex life.

Secret Things (2002)- NR

Secret Things is an erotic story of two women sharing an apartment in Paris and conspiring to extract revenge from the demanding men in their office. The film wanders far from this storyline with many long “French film type long dialogues.” Nonetheless, it still has many nude and sexual scenes including some very erotic three-some segments. Sabrina Seyvecou is excellent and erotic in the role of one of the roommates. She discovers her own sexuality in the course of extracting revenge from men. Her sexuality includes the enjoyment of both men and women.

Sex and Lucia (2002)- R

Paz Vaga plays a girlfriend of a suicidal writer-artist working on a Mediterranean vacation island. The film is very erotic but a depressing story of an artist who can no longer separate reality from his novels. The film is very explicit and has imaginative sex scenes, particularly when filmed from creative angles. Paz Vaga is beautiful and turns in a good performance. However, the storyline is frequently lost among the real and fantasy characters, and the movement back and forth in time. The many beautifully filmed underwater nude and sex scenes save what otherwise would be a very slow moving film.

Seventh Sense (1999)- NR

When I see a woman playing the cello, this is what I think of..
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I tend to flash on erotic imagery whenever I see a woman play an instrument, so it shouldn't surprise you to learn that a film about the sexual growth of a female cellist would catch my attention. Well, think about how the relationship of a musician to her (or his) instrument is like that of a lover and her beloved. The instrument is caressed – fondled even – by the musician. Gentle touching teases out mellow sounds, while more forceful measures produce a good deal louder sounds. (The parallels don't end there; we use the same word – playing – for making music with an instrument or making love with a partner.)

I find the image of a woman playing a cello to be particularly erotic. The instrument is large and she must spread her legs to hold it… I will stop, ...I'm sure you get the picture.

The movie Seventh Sense is a very erotic film about a women cellist. Frances, played by Lucy Jenner, learned to play the cello when she was a young girl. A car accident left her blind when she was teenager. However, her blindness opens up a whole new level of sounds and appreciation of her instrument.

It also opened up a whole new world of sexual fantasy. The intensity with which Frances plays the cello is echoed by more intense sexual fantasies that she experiences. Frances is encouraged by two individuals to open up her life to greater intensity in her music and thus her sexuality. The first is her roommate, played by LorDawn Messuri, and the other her music mentor, played by Endre Hules. As fate would have it, both liaisons lead to unintended sexual repercussions.

The film contains many highly erotic and explicit scenes. One early scene involves Frances masturbating to the sounds of her roommate making love. Another erotic scene is a fantasy Frances has of playing her cello nude while watching her roommate’s boyfriend make love to a strange woman. Woven throughout the film are the themes of voyeurism and exhibitionism. The erotic scenes are photographed in a highly stylized method of slightly unfocused “candlelight.” This sounds annoying but in fact adds greatly to very erotic scenes.

The Seventh Sense has an interesting but not strong storyline and poor acting from all except Lucy Jenner. Still, I recommend the film for its high-quality explicit sex scenes and very erotic concepts of classical music, women cellist, watching and being watched. The film also has a wonderful sound track of classical music. I should also create a new rating, called “Emily’s approval.” Even with two glasses of wine this story was sufficiently interesting to keep Emily awake. Afterwards, it was erotic enough for her to “use me as an instrument” for nearly an hour in the hot tub. What more could I ask?

The film was available from Netflix however I see that they have now posted it as unavailable. Maybe we have their only copy. Amazon.com also has copies.

The Wedding Banquet (1993)- R

Marx claims that history repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce. In the case of director Ang Lee, the reverse is true. A dozen years before Lee brought to the screen Annie Proulx’s heart-wrenching short story of ill-fated love (Brokeback Mountain), he directed The Wedding Banquet. In this comedy, Lee foreshadowed Brokeback Mountain's theme of the relationships of bi-sexual couples to the larger and often hostile society.

The Wedding Banquet is a romantic comedy about a semi-closeted gay Chinese immigrant stockbroker (Wei Tong, played by Winston Chao) and the lengths he goes to in order to conceal his sexual identity from his parents, who have paid him an unexpected visit from Taiwan. How far will Wei Tong go? Far enough to marry Wei Wei, played by May Chin. Wei Wei, a tenant in Wei Tong building, agrees to the marriage in exchange for her delinquent rent. And Wei Tong’s dilemma only gets more pressing when his parents insist on a elaborate traditional Chinese wedding banquet. Simon, Wei Tong boyfriend played by Mitchell Lichtenstein, is in every sense of the word, the best man, and he dutifully helps the odd couple navigate the rituals of the wedding banquet.

The wedding banquet is a very funny film that is filled with painful moments. It’s a story about sexual roles and their cultural context. And none of the five major characters is initially prepared to confront the contradictions and confusions that result from the cultural conflicts between Chinese and American, gay, straight and bi-sexual, and monogamy and polygamy. For them and for us, Lee suggests, the journey ends with new understandings of cultural and sex. For the viewer, hard lessons should always be so pleasurably learned. This is a fun film with many unexpected turns.

Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love (1997)- R

There are so many reasons to see this film despite its flaws. The main flaw is that the actors seem to “over-act,” or exaggerate their acting. To the viewers in the West the acting may even seems comical. However, this style is characteristic of the extremely popular Bollywood films of India and in fact is one of the reasons to see this film. Bollywood films are Indian produced soap-opera style dramas that, up to just a few years ago, followed strict Hindu codes of sexual censorship. Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love is a breakthrough film in that it uses Bollywood stars, is filmed in India, is directed by the Academy Award winner Mira Nair and is explicitly erotic.

It is correct to say that Mira Nair is a world famous film producer. Her most acclaimed work was Salaam Bombay (1988) that won Best Foreign Film at the Academy Awards and top honors at the Cannes Film Festival. However, my favorite Mira Nair film is Monsoon Wedding (2001). Mira Nair’s films capture the amazing revolution in India today. She captures the tide change of a nation moving from poverty to an economic power. Her films are so realistic and vivid that you can almost smell the curry.

Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love presents a story of a women sent by her father to marry someone she does not love. She runs away and joins a school to study the art of love according to the ancient Kama Sutra writings. The setting of the story is 16th century India. Mira Nair elevates the training of these women from lowly prostitutes to philosopher-love goddesses.

Here are some reasons to see this film. In the brothel scenes, Mira Nair hired all the extras from the impoverished sex worker slums of Bombay. The film was in the Indian courts for 15 months before an edited version was allowed to be shown in India. The film features the most famous Indian Bollywood actress Rekha, who plays the Kama Sutra instructor. During the filming, crowds of over 10,000 people would follow the production company solely to get a glimpse of Rekha. The colors and fabrics of the costumes are amazing. Despite the very erotic nature of the film, Mira Nair hired her mother to play one of the elder woman’s roles.

And then there are the sex scenes. The scenes are explicit, very erotic and beautifully filmed. The key instruction to the young women students is that the art of love is greater than the act of love. The film attempts to link the erotic and spiritual and probably attempts to do too much.

Despite its flaws Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love is a good film. However, appreciating the contributions of Mira Nair makes this film more enjoyable. The film is available from Netflix.

Nude Alaskan Cruise and the Movie “Swinging: From Fantasy to Reality” (2004) –Educational

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All the Ladies Do It (1992)- NR

Margo Wilson wanted to know why husbands in the United States kill their wives and why wives kill their husbands. She studied killing in three major US cites (Wilson, M. I. & Daly, M. Who kills whom in spouse killings? On the exceptional sex ratio of spousal homicides in the United States. Criminology. 30:189-215). Her findings were very interesting. Margo Wilson concluded that the primary reason for wife killings was (perceived or real) infidelity. Interestingly, there were few documented husbands killed by wives for infidelity, though as we know, husbands are more likely to have extra-marital sex. The main reason wives kill husbands was for physical or emotional abuse. Men it seems are hardwired to go ballistic with rage or free fall into depression when faced with their wives sharing their bodies with someone else. Paradoxically, women are hardwired to share their bodies. A young mother for instance, will have sexual intercourse with her husband at 7am, breast feed her infant at 8am, have her toddler on her hip at 8:30 and still shave her legs for the examination of her male and female office co-workers. Women understand that in public their breasts, hips and legs are "shared" as much as their face. Men know it too but frequently go crazy when it involves their wife.

Two very popular films that illustrate this point are Unfaithful (2002- R) and Indecent Proposal (1993- R). Both films are about husbands' response to a wife's infidelity. In Unfaithful the response was homicide and in Indecent Proposal the response was deep depression. In both films the husbands are tortured by wanting to know the explicit details of their wives' extra-marital sex, despite the extreme pain that such details produced.

When our oldest daughter was four, she loved the story of Dumbo. She wanted to have the story read to her every night. The moral of this classic Disney animation is "the very thing that holds you down (in Dumbo's case it was his ears) is the thing that lets you fly." The secret missed by Margo Wilson's research and the movies Unfaithful and Indecent Proposal is that wives having sex with other men is one of the strongest erotic fantasy of men. Somewhere deep inside the hardwiring of men's brains there is this place that goes ballistic when their wives are sexual with others. A micro-inch away from this spot is another spot of highly aroused pleasure from the same event. This second spot is the subject of the Italian film All the Ladies Do It.

All the Ladies Do It is a sometimes funny and very stylish film by the Italian erotic film director Tinto Bass. The story follows Diana (played by Claudia Koll), a very attractive middle age wife who deeply loves her husband but also deeply loves being caressed and fondled and loved by other men. Diana, as with all of Tinto Bass's leading women characters, has beautifully broad Italian hips and proudly unshaven genitals, both of which are displayed throughout the film. Diana's husband is very aroused by the fantasy of her having sex with other men. He frequently encourages her to "make-up" explicit details of these fantasies during their lovemaking. The catch is that the detailed stories are real and not fantasies. When Diana's husband finds out the truth, his hardwiring jumps the circuit to the ballistic side.

The movies Unfaithful and Indecent Proposal, though teasing their viewers with erotic scenes of illicit sex, end with a moral message of marital destruction. All the Ladies Do It ends with the married couple embracing and celebrating this pleasure side of the male brain. All the Ladies Do It is a very explicit and erotic film. I enjoyed it greatly. I strongly recommend it, particularly if you enjoy the non-ballistic side of the male brain.

Indie Films: Shortbus (2006) –UR and Confusions of An Unmarried Couple (2006) –UR

The new technologies allow all of us to be experts, ...well sort of. We can write our own film review blogs and even make our own films. Much of the blogging (perhaps mine included) and independent film making is self-indulgent. Occasionally, there are real innovations and original thoughts.

Shortbus is an example of an innovative independent film that is about the same people who make independent films and write blogs. The film is a visual journey of the erotic self-discovery of New York City twenty-something year olds. The sex is graphic but not erotic. It is more a story of people discovering their bodies than discovering and loving someone else's body. I don't know if this self-absorption is an indictment of a generation, a stage of development or something unique about physical lovemaking. However, the dialogue and characters in Shortbus are fresh, interesting and provocative. This is the reason I am recommending this film. Nonetheless, when the actors take off their clothes and begin to touch each other you can almost see them say, "oh my god, what are we doing!"

And now to an even more independent film where the characters do not take off their clothes. "Confusions of An Unmarried Couple" is produced by the Butler Brothers (http://www.subprod.com/). The film is all dialogue and shows the potential quality of independent films from a no budget or low budget platform. The film is about a young couple in a troubled relationship. The couple attempts to reconcile through talking about what went wrong in the first place. The seemingly unscripted dialogue takes on a "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf" quality of subject change and loose associations. The words of the dialogue are "let's take off our cloths and make love" but the real communication is "I'm too involved with my stuff to have time for you." Both movies are interesting examples of Indie films about sex. Both films teach to judge erotic and sensual intent by more than spoken words.

Confusions of an Unmarried Couple DVD is now available from our website. http://www.subprod.com/store.php



Hi Paul,

Last evening B and I screened Shortbus. The orgy scenes were about as erotic as we've ever seen. We both remarked that we had been there "in the small" at the Farm and the River. And that five years ago such amovie would have "flipped us out". How things change. This morning we veiwed the extras, namely commentary about the making of the film and deleted scenes, and found them to be even more stimulating and suggestive. It brings to mind the idea that I mentioned some time ago about making an erotic (not porn) movie about people in our age group. It might be very refreshing for young people to know that they have decades of erotic pleasure in front of them.
Warm regards to you and Emily, J and B

Kinsey (2004)- R

Dr. Alfred Kinsey tells a New York Times reporter in the film "Kinsey" that we know less about the topic of human sexual pleasure than about the molting habits of the South American butterfly. Today, some 50 years later, much more is known about the physiology of human sexuality. However, I believe we have achieved only a slightly better understanding of erotic pleasure particularly within our most important lifelong relationships.

I am a trained marriage and family therapist and have been licensed in three states. In none of my training or continuing education for my licenses was I required to take a course in human sexuality, much less training in human erotic pleasure. My physician wife in 30 years of practicing medicine has not been required to take even one hour of continuing education in human sexuality to fulfill her board requirements in family medicine. Our daughter is in her second year of medical school and just last semester received her first training in sexuality. The lecture series was a sexual terminology course and was added because a medical student did not know what a patient meant when she reported her boyfriend liked to "eat her." It is because of these facts that the film Kinsey should be seen by all health professionals and all those interested in human sexuality.

Alfred Kinsey and his wife Clara McMillen were champions for research and education not just about human sexuality but human sexual pleasure. "Kinsey" is an important film because it documents our past (and current) taboo of gathering even the most basic information about sex and erotic pleasure. As health professionals we can categorize the 15 color shades of urine but squirm when asking a patient if they enjoy sex. Alfred Kinsey shined a spotlight on this hypocrisy in the late 1940's, a hypocrisy that is almost as true today.

I was first introduced to Dr. Alfred Kinsey at 16 when I was a junior in high school. I was hired as a hospital orderly at Rush-Presbyterian St. Luke's hospital and Medical School in Chicago to work the 5pm to midnight shift. My duties were to move patients from one floor to another and to move expired patients to the morgue. I had access to the medical school library and had much time on my hands. This free time was spent reading about sex in the medical school library and specifically reading Kinsey's and his "Sexual Behavior in the Human Male" and "Sexual Behavior in the Human Female." The literally hundreds of graphs and charts in these two volumes document Kinsey's chief finding. Sex and eroticism in humans is very pleasurable but also varies greatly from individual to individual. Before you say "daa," it is the fact of variety from individual to individual that our society has yet to accept.

Kinsey the movie is about Alfred Kinsey (played by Liam Neeson) and Clara McMillen (played by Laura Linney). It is about Kinsey the couple. The movie tracks their early bond in research biology through their interest in human sexuality, then sexual exploration with other partners and finally the bond of their love for each other. We are inspired by their passion to find "facts and accuracy" about human sexuality and eroticism. Laura Linney is superb in her Oscar nominating performance. Her performance captures the true multi-dimensional aspect of her character. Kinsey is an excellent and inspiring film about sex and one that I strongly recommend.

Loving Sex- Ultimate Massage (1998) - Educational

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Frivolous Lola (1998)- NR

Emily and I just returned from our first nude cruise sponsored through Castaway Travel. (http://www.travelnude.com/ ). It was really quite wonderful. In fact we have now signed up for another nude cruise on the Danube River in Europe. This Caribbean cruise lasted 10 days and visited the islands of Bonaire, Dominica, St. Thomas and The Bahamas. The 1500 passengers were allowed to be nude throughout the ship with the exception of the formal dining room and when the ship was in port. The experiences "exposed" us to both the variety of human form and to a new sexual fetish.

Aquaphilia, we learned is the enjoyment of sex underwater. No, I'm not kidding. Look it up in Wikipedia. Our newly found nude cruise friends Susan and Matthew were more than delighted to share their personal experiences of sexual joys from "doing it" underwater. Susan and Matthew also shared with us their library of DVD and still photos documenting other couples who also were Aquaphiliaics. Clearly, we have led a sheltered life which brings me to this current movie review.

Frivolous Lola is a movie about another fetish. This movie is dedicated to the pleasure of the woman's derriere. Frivolous Lola is one of 7 films by the Italian director Tinto Brass, nearly all of which focus on the woman's ass. As with our nude cruise, Brass treats the viewer to all sizes, shapes and views of women's rear-ends. However, unquestionably his favorite presentation is from behind with the women bent over. The plot, if you are interested, centers on two young lover's conflict about pre-marital sex. Lola, played by Anna Ammirati, wants to get started, whereas her boyfriend wants to wait.

Frivolous Lola has all the trappings of a bad movie. Surprisingly, it is a funny and sometimes erotic comedy. Anna Ammirati does very well in playing the movie led and even with the poor English dubbing of Italian, we appreciate her dry wit. Did I mention we frequently get to see her ass and the ass of nearly every other woman is Italy? Finally, for our new Aquaphilia nude cruise friends Susan and Matthew, there is a brief underwater sex scene that is really quite well done.

Lie With Me (2005)- NR

Lie With Me is a raw, bold and controversial film. Emily and I found the sex arousing and the characters complex. Netflix's http://www.netflix.com/ 40,000 viewers rated the film 3 out of 5 stars on average, however only 30% of journalism reviews http://www.rottentomatoes.com/ recommended the film. Nonetheless, we highly recommend it.

In this film, we are treated to the inner private thought of Leila, played by Lauren Lee Smith. Her thoughts are about sex- how to get it, how to get it often, and how to get it on her terms. Leila has found it easy to have sex with many men and nearly every man. However, she becomes despondent after having frequent sex with a man named David, played by Eric Balfour of HBO Six Feet Under fame. This relationship causes the blood to move from her genitals to her heart. She now asks herself the question, "how do you have sex with someone you are in love with?"

Lie With Me is a highly erotic film with explicit sexual scenes. It is also a movie with an intense character study of two people who can make passionate erotic sex but become anguished when faced with the opportunity to make love. We meet Leila and David at a seedy nightclub party. This is a place where the music and the bodies are hot. They are with other partners and the foursome escapes to the alley to elevate their hot dancing to hot sex. Leila and David become more aroused exhibiting themselves for each other then the sex they are having with their partners. We follow Leila and David over the next weeks as they engage each other's bodies. Their passionate sex surprisingly turns to affection. Each is also struggling with death and divorce in their families. Maybe this contributes to them allowing affection to sneak-up amidst all their sex. Regardless, it produces more pain then they could imagine.

The frequent romance film shows a couple falling in love and then awkwardly and fearfully moves from affection to sex. Lie With Me moves the couple from erotic sex to awkward and fearful affection. The sex is hot and very real. In one scene the camera shoots from just above Leila's head as she lies in bed. We essentially watch from her eyes as David undresses her and works his way up her legs with his licks and kisses. We watch real oral sex as he licks and opens her labia with his mouth. The camera them moves up and rotates to her face without cutting from the scene. We watch her face as she moves to an orgasm that we know is coming from real sex.

Apart from the sex, there are two reasons to see this film. First, Lauren Lee Smith boldly reverses gender roles by playing a demanding, controlling and even at times, abusive sexual partner. She skillfully develops a female version of a character that changes from being centered only on her genital pleasures to one open to the possibility of a relationship. Second, this movie does an excellent work of filming the nude male. We see all sides. We see the erect penis and the non-erect penis. We see David lovingly bathing his elderly nude (and yes also with a penis) father, shortly before his death. There are so many films where only nude women are shown. This film showing nude men, is refreshing and reason alone to see this film. Lie With Me would be a very good movie without the explicit sex. With the sex, it is an excellent movie.

The Woodsman (2004)- R

In 1982 Marvin Gay sang the hit song "Sexual Healing." Some of the lyrics include:

I want Sexual Healing
Sexual Healing, oh baby
Makes me feel so fine
Helps to relieve my mind Sexual Healing baby, is good for me
Sexual Healing is something that's good for me
Whenever blue tear drops are falling
And my emotional stability is leaving me
There is something I can doI can get on the telephone and call you up baby, and
Honey I know you'll be there to relieve me
The love you give to me will free me
If you don't know the things you're dealing ohh
Let me tell you, darling, that it's Sexual Healing

In The Woodsman, Kevin Bacon plays Walter, a convicted child molester that is rescued and maybe "healed" through the sexual caring of a newly found adult friend. This is a provocative and well-made film about sexual pain and sexual rescue.

Walter is released from prison after serving a lengthy term for sexual conduct with an 11-year-old girl. We never learn exactly the nature of the sexual conduct. Walter in one scene tells a companion that the girl looked older. Regardless, we do learn that Walter is a troubled man. He is haunted by this inner demon and lives in fear that his desire for very young girls will lead to re-incarceration or worse. His life is secretive and isolated from family, friends and even his therapist. We follow him as he gets an apartment near a grade school and begins spending most of this time watching 10-year-old girls play. The scenes are creepy.

The woodsman who using his axe cut her out of the wolf's belly,
Saved little Red Ridding Hood from the wolf.

In this film the "woodsman" is Vickie played by Kyra Sedgwick. She is a no-nonsense construction worker. We never know exactly her motivation, but she is drawn to rescue Walter even before she knows his full story. Vickie uses her body rather than an axe. Her purposeful erotic seduction rescues Walter by awakening sexual passion for an adult woman.

Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick, who in real life have been married since 1988, create believable characters. Bacon specifically is able to portray the creepiness and unsettling nature of a man obsessed by young children. The sex scenes between Walter and Vickie contain brief nudity and are erotic. I recommend The Woodsman because it puts a human face on a man our culture considers "a sexual monsters", yet still clearly showing him as a predator. However, even more interesting it raises the possibility of redirecting his sexual energy to adult partners. Vickie's role as the Woodsman was truly an example of "sexual healing" as sung by Marvin Gay.

Red Shoe Diary: The Movie: Special Edition (1992)- R

This film produced by Zalman King started the HBO series Red Shoe Diaries. This film, though not as explicit and stylish as King's Delta of Venus (1995), still offers a high quality erotic film with a real plot. Though the film launched the HBO series by the same name, there is little similarity between this feature-length film story and the Red Shoe Series. The HBO films usually contain 3 short stories based on erotic encounters with strangers.

This story is of a young attractive woman played by Brigitte Bako who is caught between two lovers and two styles of lovemaking. One lover is a sensitive caregiver seeking marriage. The other lover enjoys rough and controlling sex that borders on sadomasochism. She ultimately is unable to resolve this dilemma and this leads to tragedy.

Though the film contains only brief full nudity, the many sex scenes are erotic and passionate. This is one of three films recently reviewed (the other two are Delta of Venus-1995 and Lady Chatterley's Lover-1981) that is recommended for viewers seeking strong erotic content within a well made film with a real plot.

Sirens (1994)- R

Most films about sexual awakening or ?sexually coming of age? focus on teenagers or young adults. The story line perhaps is that once a person reaches 25 they have passed through the experimentation phase and now can get-on with serious relationship sex. The wonderful truth is that sexual awakening and sexual re-awakening frequently (thank God) happens later in life.

Sirens is a wonderfully erotic and often funny film about sexual awakening. Tara Fitzgerald plays the wife of an Anglican Priest assigned to removing erotic art from church sponsored exhibits. The couple travels to visit an artist and his group of nude models to persuade them to remove certain nude paintings from exhibits. Along the way, the clergy's wife is "exposed" to not just nudity but the erotic passions of the models and eventually her own. The wife at first is the picture of a proper religious woman. Yet, she is drawn to the nude images on the painter's canvas and then to watching the nude models in erotic play. Her curiosity leads to desire and then passion ending in erotic affairs with both a male model and the female models.

The film is beautifully filmed in the mountains of Australia that provide a stunning natural background for the many nude scenes. The film ends with a breathtaking shot of the 5 women in the film, all nude, on a mountaintop. The film's sexual scenes are very erotic, not from being explicit, but from the content of a religious wife being naughty. We leave the couple as she brings her newly found erotic passion to her marriage and frankly they are thankful that God created sex.

Brown Bunny (2004) UR and The Door in the Floor (2004) R

Depression & Sex- two reviews. William Styron, author of "Sophie's Choice" died recently after a lifelong struggle with depression. In an interview with Terry Gross he could not take his own life because he could not write the perfect suicide note. This is a painful statement from an artist about depression.

I was depressed about a year ago. We sold our house of 10 years and moved to an apartment. Our daughter was also struggling with a major illness (but has since recovered). The feelings from these events caught me by surprise. I had no appetite for my favorite foods and could not get an erection. Depression and sex do not mix. When depressed, the last thing in the world we want is sex and yet we sometimes seek sex to again feel alive.

Vincent Gallo's film The Brown Bunny provides a stark, graphic film about depression and sex. We follow Bud Clay on a cross-country journey as he tries to get the death of his girlfriend out of his mind. It doesn't work. He is haunted by her death. Her ghost visits Bud and among other things performs oral sex. The scene is graphic. We see everything. She looks up after performing fellatio and asks why things had to turn out the way they did. It is all-imaginary, so in fact Bud has no answer for her question. Vincent Gallo directs this film and also plays Bud Clay. However, it gets even weirder. Chloe Sevigny plays Bud's girlfriend, who in real life is his ex-girl friend. So art reflects reality and then reflects art, or something like that.

Jeff Bridges and Kim Bassinger (from 9 1/2 Weeks fame) star in the film, The Door in the Floor. The film is by Tod Williams and adapted from John Irving novel, "A Widow For A Year". The movie is dark, but totally honest of how a dysfunctional family copes with the death of two sons. A couple living off Cape Cod takes in a summer live-in student as a means to replace the loss of their sons. The father encourages the boy to have sex with his wife. The wife teachers the student how to make love, yet we all understand she is really loving her dead son. The couple reveals vulnerabilities and real human complexity in both subtle and dramatic ways as they use sex with a young stranger to replace the loss of their sons.

These two films are actually very good but you need to be prepared to see depression. Both films capture the moods and surrealism of sadness. Depression in these films is not the usual sad scenes we see in movies that make us cry and then somehow we feel better. Depression here is the absence of feeling. It's being numb. These are not the films to watch if you're anticipating an erotic turn-on. Nonetheless, the films have very explicit and realistic sex scenes that are more sad than erotic. They capture the real pain of the loss of a lover and family member. They also captures how in the middle of feeling such loss a person may think that they will never love again.

Delta of Venus (1995) NC-17

In Delta of Venus, Elene, played by Audie England, is on a quest to watch and document erotic adventures. There are three very erotic scenes in this excellent film by Zalman King. Elene is asked to pose nude for an art class. Her body is positioned in full contact with a male model. She is asked for hours not to move as the students paint. However, we hear her thoughts and her mind is anything but still. In a second scene, Elene seeks out a prostitute known for her erotic appetite and her "sexual knowledge." The women after some negotiation hides Elene in a closet where she can watch her receive passionate sex under the hypnotic spell of an African King. In a third scene, Elene is invited to a sex party in the house of a wealthy older couple. This couple plays a sex game where the wife wears only a blindfold and a necklace of pearls and has sex with a stranger the husband has picked up on the street. Furthermore, this all happens before a house full of strangers. These three scenes and the many other sexual scenes are very erotic, explicit and beautifully filmed.

You now have guessed correctly that the theme of this film is voyeurism. Zalman King, the producer of The Red Shoe Diaries erotic series, based this film on Anais Kin's novel of the same name. The story is set in Paris in the pre-war years of 1939. The streets are full of political, sexual and artistic passion. Elene is a struggling writer who falls in love with another writer Lawrence, played by Costas Mandyler. Lawrence pushes all the boundaries in a campaign for artistic expression. When he is called to war, he secretly hires Elene to write eroticism. The film is a story about Elene's quest to find content for her writings. Throughout the film, passages of Anais Kin's erotic verse from her novel move us from one scene to another. This film is about enjoying erotic pleasure three times: once during the event, twice by a writer capturing the event for others and third by a reader enjoying the erotic descriptions. A gift that keeps on giving.

This film has well deserved its positive reviews. The photography is rich and the costumes are beautiful. Audie England is subtle and sexy in her excellent portrayal of a woman exploring sexual boundaries. I loved a scene where she licks the fingers of her lover and states, "I so enjoy tasting me." Though filmed in Prague it has the real life feel of pre-war Paris. The music is beautiful. I searched unsuccessfully for a sound track of the film. I settled for a DVD copy as much for the musical score as the eroticism. This is a film I strongly recommend.

Lady Chatterley's Lover (1981) R

I recently had the opportunity to again see the classic erotic film Lady Chatterley's Lover. The film is one of the three classic erotic films produced by Just Jaeckin. His other two are The Story of O and Emmanuelle. Lady Chatterley's Lover, despite its age, continues to be one of the best-filmed stories with a real plot and real erotic scenes.

The movie is an adaptation from a novel by D.H. Lawrence. The story mixes two classic themes. This first is a devote wife's sexual adjustment to a war injured husband and the permission she receives to satisfy her erotic needs outside the marriage. The second classic theme is her erotic affair turning to love, and love with a man "beneath her class." The wife played by Jaeckin?s favorite actress Sylvia Kristel, is caught between her devotion to her paralyzed husband and her erotic lover. The lover, a husky gamekeeper played by Nicholas Clay is torn between his passion and class rules of proper relationships. D.H. Lawrence mixes both story line taboos in a story woven with explicit erotic content. The story remains controversially today. Just Jaeckin takes the full story and adds excellent costumes for turn-of -the century England and his trademark superior on-location filming.

Many people ask for an erotic story with a real plot. This film delivers in both areas. Though at times the film drags a bit (as did Gone with the Wind), the photography, costumes and set keeps the audience engaged. Then there is the sex. Probably the most famous sex scene is a long segment where the Lover places one flower after another down the body of Lady Chatterley. Each small flower fills the screen. We watch as the flowers move past her breasts and to her genitals. Lady Chatterley is filmed with full frontal nudity though the male Lover is usually film nude from the back. Nonetheless, the filming was ahead of its time both in sensual filming and erotic content.

Girl’s Play (2004) NR

I love the movie "A Christmas Story' by Bob Clark and watch it nearly every holiday season. This comedy is about a family in the 1940's and a 9-year-old boy that wants a BB gun for Christmas. I particularly enjoy how the main character talks directly to the audience and reveals how he understands the Santa Clause scam, the hidden motives of sales clerks and the failed attempt of his father to seduce his mother through a Christmas gift of lingerie. Girl's Play is a similar film. Girl's Play, a low budget independent film by Lee Friedlander, follows this same comic cinema style. However, instead of a 9 year old at Christmas, the film presents two lesbian girls talking directly to the audience about the pros and cons of an affair with each other.

As described in a Netflix review, "The film is really like a verbal blog, of two women who meet during a Play and fall in love. The relationship issues they faced -- leaving long-time partners, fear of messing up again, how and if to reveal what you really feel -- have been done before, but they manage to pull it off with humor and much heartfelt energy. Based on the true story of stand up comedians and actresses Robin Greenspan and Lacie Harmon, who both play their own characters."

The film has tasteful but graphic erotic scenes of the two women making love. However, the most erotic scene is a publicity photo shoot for their Play at a point where the actresses are just beginning to feel an attraction. The Play's producer asks that the two young women to be photographed in a topless embrace. We hear the women's thoughts of embarrassment about their nudity give way to fascination with the feel of their nipples touching that then gives way to erotic abandonment. The film shoots a close-up of their nipples touching as we hear their thoughts. The scenes comic script is well written and highly erotic.

Brokeback Mountain (2005)- R

Brokeback Mountain is simple an excellent, beautifully filmed, movie. It is so much more than a painful story of sexual love between two men. It is a story about being bi-sexual. It is a story about secrets within two families. It is a story of sex not just between two men but also between the men and their wives. It is a story about fathers loosing the love of their children. It is a story about sex. At its heart, it is a story about how the love you cannot have, tragically separates you from the love you have.

Two cowboys Jack Twist and Ennis Del Mar (Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger) are hired to heard sheep in the Canadian Rockies. They are provided with few supplies including only one small tent. Though the men have little conversation and slow less emotions, once inside the tent there is an eruption of erotic passion. This summer of erotic passion ties up these two men for the next twenty years. We follow the men through these twenty years. The men marry and have children. They struggle with in-laws and employment. They struggle with parenting. Throughout these twenty years they continue their secret love affair through “fishing trips” back to Brokeback Mountain. The secret is revealed at least to Ennis wife (Michelle Williams) who sees the two men kissing. Though not confronting Ennis until years later after their divorce, the fact of the secret leads to estrangement of the men, their wives, their children and in-laws.

This movie is a first in Sex in Film in a number of ways. First, despite the popular press depicting the film to be about gay cowboys, it is really a film about bi-sexual men. The film shows the men having erotic pleasurable sex with both men and women. This is very different than popular sexual trends that glorify bi-sexual women yet ignore bi-sexual men and become hysterical about gay marriage. We ignore what I believe is the more common male gay experience, namely being bi-sexual. Second, I believe this is the first critically acclaimed film that shows real erotic affection between men. A number of films have shown men kissing. However, Brokeback Mountain shows men with real love, affection and erotic passion for each other. As a heterosexual male, I found the scenes loving and tastefully done. Brokeback Mountain truly deserved the Best Picture nomination and I highly recommend it.

Friends & Lovers, Sex and Interviews with Real Couples (2005) X

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Anatomy of Hell (2004) UR

Anatomy of Hell is an explicit, complex and at times shocking film by Catherine Breillat. The film has many themes, but certainly a central topic is the women’s menstrual cycle or more specifically having sex during menstruation. Breillat asks why is this a curse, why do men avoid sex during menstruation and why is women’s blood “unclean” and Jesus’ blood redemptive? As with all her films the plot deals with women and their sexuality. However, the sub-plot in this film is sex and Christianity. I believe only Catherine Breillat could direct and produce this film.

Catherine Breillat is a French film director and producer. She is a woman who admits that all of her films are about sex. Critics say that she is uniquely concerned with a women’s understanding of her own sexuality. She focuses on women and sex with such explicit and graphic detail that she is known as “the auteur of porn.” In all of her films the actors have real sex. Breillat believes that a “visual display of sex is inseparable from the representation of the consciousness of her female characters.” Translation, her actresses have to have real sex to play the roles and the audience has to see real sex to understand her films. And yes Martha, we see real sex and much more.

The sub-plot of this film is society’s, specifically religion’s prejudice against menstruation. That, of course, brings me to Jesus Christ and menstruation. The Pulitzer Prize author Garry Wills in his recent book “What Jesus Meant,” argues that Jesus publicly broke Jewish religious laws to demonstrate that God lives “within our hearts, not through religious rules.” Wills illustrates this point by Jesus’ actions towards menstruating women. Wills traces the gender separation in Islam, Judaism and Christianity to the belief that menstruating women are impure and untouchable in “God’s eyes.” Since religious leaders cannot tell which women are having their period, complex and elaborate rules are created to either segregate woman from sacred locations or to separate menstruating women from men. Wills teaches that Jesus purposely and publicly violated Jewish rules regarding menstruating women. He sites the story of Jesus and the women at the well. Jesus asks for her to give him a drink in spite of her warning him that she was unclean (menstruating). Jewish laws forbid menstruating women to serve food or drink. Wills also noted that Jesus draws attention to the women who touched him in a crowd. The women sought healing from a menstrual flow that would not stop. Despite Jesus’ teaching, it took less than 200 years after his death for the Christian “fathers” to reinstate Jewish type laws segregating women particularly during menstruation. The paradox of Christianity is that the blood of Christ is what redeems mankind and is “drank” at each communion service. This paradox is not lost on Catherine Breillat.

The film’s story centers on a women played by Amira Casar. The woman invites a gay man home and pays him to accompany her for four nights. She undresses and is nude throughout the rest of the film, nearly 90 minutes. The woman at first invites the man to watch her in various erotic poses. The gay man becomes more and more curious to explore every part of her body (and we really mean explore, as in an ob-gyn exam). He is surprised by his erection, which is not left to the imagination. They have sex. She begins to menstruate at the end of day two. Sex is only part of what the couples does during day three and four. Among other things, Amira teaches her suitor and the viewer all the details of replacing her tampon. I will hold back describing all the details, but you clearly get the idea.

Throughout, Catherine Breillat shoots the film from views of Jesus on the bedroom wall. Part of the sex scenes turn into a worship services including communion (I will let you figure out whose blood is drunk). The film at times is erotic but mostly is an explicit curiosity. Nonetheless, I really liked the film. I really like Catherine Breillat’s films however many would find them too shocking. I like her bold, unblinking study of women and sex. As she puts women under a magnifying glass, men become in better focus. Amira gay paid suitor ends up “converting” to heterosexual love. Catherine Breillat and Jesus therefore both teach to touch women when they are “untouchable.”

Watching You (2003)- NR

I was recently in a hot tub in Maine with 8 other nude men and women. The topic on the table (on the water) was lesbian love. Well to be honest, the topic was broader than lesbian love; it was more like the erotic flexibility of women. The question was how is it that nearly all of us (women and men) enjoy the affection, nurturing and erotic touch of a woman. Conversely, why does it seem easier for many women we know to extend attention, affection and erotic pleasure to both genders? The group did not see a similar trait in most men, including those in the hot tub. I reasoned that the answer may relate to the fact that nearly all of us were pleasured and nurtured by our mothers and that mothers are “flexible” to nurse and touch both sexes. The “hot tub 8” came to no consensus regarding this mystery and moved on to other topics. Maybe some questions raised in a hot tub are not meant to be answered.

Watching You is a collection of short films that in fact picks up on this question and does attempt a meaningful answer. All 9 short subject films have a lesbian theme. The films are from all around the world. They range in length from 5 minutes to 25 minutes. They are all excellent.

In one hilarious film a women interviews potential lovers similar to a job interview. The film has superb editing. One interviewee for instance will stumble with one question (“how do you spell cunnilingus”) only to be rescued by editing of another interviewee. In another very funny film a women attending a party instructs the viewer on “the dos and don’t” of attracting a lover. Stereotype lesbian women attend the party. Our guide periodically freezes the film to point out the strengths and weaknesses of each woman’s approach. The film is an excellent comic parody not only on gay women but women in general. In a third film we watch the surprise of a gay man when he becomes aroused while watching two women make love. In a forth film one partner asks, “what do you miss most about loving a man?” Her partner replies, “the long periods of silence.” One short film is Israeli. It was filmed in Tel Aviv and is about a single mother that secretly photographs an attractive neighbor. The film is a good study of jealousy.

The short films mix humor, explicit eroticism, stories of jealousy and stories of friendships. However, similar to the HBO series Sex in the City, all the films teach us more about women and why we love them than about lesbian love. This is a very enjoyable collection of short stories for both a gay and straight audience. The eroticism is at times explicit and arousing yet it is presented in the context of very interesting stories.

All films reviewed in this blog, unless noted, are available from Netflix.

Before Sunrise -R (1995) and Before Sunset -R (2004)

We remember our first love affairs. I don’t mean the girl we kissed in second grade playing spin the bottle, or the boy in high school we made out with, or even the college co-ed we lost our virginity too. We of course remember those events too. I mean the first people we really fell in love with. These events hold special memories. Sandra Leiblum and Judith Sachs in their book, “Getting the Sex You Want,” says this person makes us feel attractive, makes us feel loved and understood, appreciates our mind and desires our body. This person listens when we talk and we want their opinions. We tell them nearly everything. The conversation is as intimate as the erotic touch. This is particularly true when we are young and it happens for the first time. We often focus on our first time having sex as a sort of benchmark to adulthood. Perhaps a more important marking is when we first shared our soul.

Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy play Jesse and Celine in a two-part love story about a first love affair. The story (Before Sunrise) begins as two young people meet on a train in Europe and fall in love. The first movie is about their meeting and the 12 hours that they spend together. The second movie (Before Sunset) is 9 years later and follows the couple’s reunion, again for about 12 hours. The two films were produced exactly 9 years apart with the same actors, who have aged in real life 9 years. This fact, though unique, is not the reason to see these two films. The reason to see these movies is to again experience falling in love.

In both films Jesse and Celine talk. They talk a lot. They talk about religion and then talk about their first experience with sex. They talk about food and then talk about deaths in their families. They talk about reincarnation and then talk about what makes them afraid. They talk but also listen. As in the near cult film, “A Dinner with André,” the couple takes each other’s comments seriously. They take each other seriously. Their love grows not from physical passion but from conversation and before sunrise this love grows to erotic passion. Before Sunset follows the couple 9 years later. They again meet in Europe and spent 12 hours together. Events repeat themselves. This time the talk is about their 9 years apart. They talk about politics and their marriages. They talk about the other loves in their lives and how life would have been different if they would of married each other. They fall is love again.

The films reminded me of the intense conversation in my first love affairs. These affairs do not always end in marriage and sometimes do not even include sex. They do include erotic passion. The memories of conversation are what make the affairs important, and it is particularly memorable when we are young. It is the first time we explore another’s souls as we explore another’s body.

These two films are wonderful. They will remind you of the joys and intensity of your first experiences with love. The dialog is what makes these films special. The two stars Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy wrote the screenplay of Before Sunset. It feels unscripted, natural and free flowing. It is also technically brilliant. We walk with Jesse and Celine for 7 minutes of uninterrupted conversation through the streets of Vienna. Before Sunrise and Before Sunset are films that should not be missed.

Tipping The Velvet (2002)- NR

I have had the erotic privilege of watching two women make love. For many reasons, this is a tremendous turn-on for most men. For many of us men, lesbian love is synonymous with heterosexual pleasure.

There is in fact, a whole other lesbian experience. “Tipping the Velvet” is a look at another experience. The film is a romantic film is the classic definition. It presents a story of a very romantic lesbian relationship. In this film romance means faithfulness, monogamy and emotional commitment in good times and bad times. It expects unswerving devotion, and when that trust is broken the very meaning of life is questioned. Tipping the Velvet is an excellent romantic film that happens to be about two women.

The film is about a young women Nan, played by Rachel Sterling, in England in the 1800’s. She falls in love with a traveling actress who whisks her away from her rural home to London where we follow her through many adventures. The film is divided into three 1-hour segments that were originally presented as a BBC mini-series. The film has a number of beautifully filmed erotic scenes.

There are three reasons to see this film even if you do not like romance. First, the period costumes and set design deserve an academy award. Second, the photography is simply beautiful. One love scene consists entirely of a close-up of the two women’s lips. This is a very erotic kissing scene! Finally, there is a Shakespeare “spoof” in the second hour segment that should not be missed. Nan, a woman, dresses as a young boy and gives homosexual men blowjobs for money. The men think they receive a homosexual experience but actually receive a heterosexual experience, but from a homosexual women. This series alone is reason to see this film.

One Night Stand (1997)- R

How can sex be exciting? Actually, we probably do not want it always to be exciting. Most times we want sex to be comforting, familiar and even nurturing. However, occasionally we want it to be exciting, new and maybe even a little scary. Having an affair is one way to make sex very exciting but it often also makes sex very dangerous.

Wesley Snipes stars in the 1997 film, One Night Stand. Snipes is on a business trip and is caught in Manhattan without a hotel room. Circumstances lead to his sharing a room with Nastassja Kinski. Both Snipes and Kinski are married, but passion prevails and the couple make love. The night is passionate, exciting but terrible disturbing for Snipes. He returns to his wife and is unable to disclose the event and it gradually erodes their marriage. This event plus the death of a close friend who has AIDS leaves him frustrated and angry.

One hour and ten minutes through the film it appears we are viewing a conventional story about illicit sex. The sex scenes were erotic and we are stimulated by the fantasy of passionate love making with a stranger, for only one night. However, the price we are expecting to pay for this pleasure is a ruined marriage. Here the film takes a very unconventional twist and is why I recommend this movie. Through another series of odd events, Snipes and his wife played by Ming-Na Wen, reconcile and re-energies their relationship through exciting sex. The sex however for each is with another partner, and with the full knowledge and permission of each other.

One Night Stand offers an option for couples to re-energies their sex, and maybe their marriage, without an affair. This option is not without danger and is not for all couples (see my review of the documentary film The Lifestyle: Swinging in America). It is also not the only way to add exciting. However, it is one option. One Night Stand is not a perfect movie, but it is well photographed and well acted. It is a very good film for couples to see together and talk about afterwards.

Romance- Director’s Cut (1999)- NR

On the Daily Show last month there was a skit that did a parody on the word "paradox." Jon Stewart said "isn't it a paradox that the word paradox must be used so often by seemingly intelligent people?" I looked it up. Paradox is "when opposite truths seem to simultaneously exist." Here?s an example. A woman finds genuine caring, affection, erotic nurturing and affirmation in a sadomasochistic relationship when she is tied-up in painful bondage. Marie, played by Caroline Ducey in "Romance", later remarks that her lover "ties me up without tying me down."

Romance is a remarkable film. It contained arguable one of the most erotic and explicit sex scenes in a non-X rated film, a full 3-minute scene of an actual birth (we get to see everything) and a full 15 minutes segment of an anal compulsive sadomasochistic lover trying again and again to get his knots tied just right. Romance is about a sexually frustrated women in a very dysfunctional relationship. She pleads for her partner to simply remove his undershirt in bed, seeing that this is as close to erotic affection as she will get. She therefore seeks other lovers. She eventually finds love from an older man who loves ropes, handcuffs and bondage.

Let's go back to the "paradox" word. The film is directed by Catherine Breillat, one of a number of women in film that are exploring erotic pleasure from (their words) a female prospective. The paradox (sorry) of the film is that from this highly successful women's prospective, the beautiful young males in this film are sexually dysfunctional. However, the older man with obvious flaws is more attractive. You no longer need to wonder why I like this film!

This is the second movie reviewed on this blog that I strongly recommend it to be seen in the NR "Director's Cut" version. I reviewed "Y Tu Mama Tambien (2001)" with the same recommendation. These films from Blockbuster in R versions are stripped of not only key scenes but also the scenes that truly make the films erotic.

Y Tu Mama Tambien (2001) – UR “And Your Mama Too”

A common theme of films is a young person “coming of age” through their early sexual experiences. This web site has already reviewed 3 films dealing with this subject. Many of the films are quite erotic. Y Tu Mama Tambien staring Diego Luna, Gael Garcia Bernal and most importantly Maribel Verdu is another coming of age film, but it is also so much more.

So why is this subject so interesting and erotic? For most of us, the late teens and 20’s were not erotic times. I personally struggled with guilt well into my 30’s as I tried to reconcile religion and sex. My best, most erotic sex is happening now and certainly was not happening when I was young. I believe my experience is common. So then, why is there such a focus in film on the teens and early 20’s?

In Y Tu Mama Tambien, we witness the ranging hormones of two teenage boys. The boys’ ultimate sexual fantasy will be experienced. An older, beautiful, attractive married woman will spend a holiday with them on a deserted Mexican beach teaching them the ways of lovemaking. One of her most memorable instructions to the boys was “you have to treat the clit as your friend.” The film has a very erotic three-some scene with an unanticipated ending. The boys become men sexually but are gifted with much more experiences along the way. The experiences lead the now men to make choices. We are taught throughout this film by a narrative, that life’s experiences lead to choices that lead to our character. So, maybe here is the answer to my question. We are drawn to coming of age erotic stories because they are a metaphor for how we continue to choose our character. Our choice in sex parallels our choices in life…. Or, maybe it’s only for the young bodies.

Y Tu Mama Tambien is an excellent, much talked about film, which was nominated for Best Foreign Film in 2001. Apart from the erotic story, the film’s cinematography captures the paradox of the beautiful yet impoverished Mexican coast. I strongly recommend this film. However, it is important to see the “UR” version rather than the “R” version. The erotic scenes cut from the “UR” are key to understanding the boys’ later life decisions. The “R” rated film not only cuts the erotic scenes but also some of the most explicate dialogue of sexual instruction.

Therese and Isabelle (1968)- UR

For me, the recent film “My Summer of Love” was a disappointment. Films of young girls coming of age through a love affair carry a classic erotic story yet often turn out to be poor in story line or erotic content. The nearly 40 year-old film, “Therese and Isabelle” is an exception. This black and white film is very erotic in truly a unique way.

The story is about a woman who returns to her boarding school for a visit. The school is on semester break and therefore she wanders the castle-like facility alone remembering her adolescents. Her memories are of her lover, Isabelle. What makes this film so erotic is not the brief nudity or pictures of their lovemaking. It is rather the narrative. At the point where she remembers an erotic encounter with Isabelle the film shifts to a third person narrative that is part poetry, part sonnet, but fully explicit and very beautifully erotic. This erotic narrative plus gorgeous back and white cinematography makes this classic film well worth seeing.