Margo Wilson wanted to know why husbands in the United States kill their wives and why wives kill their husbands. She studied killing in three major US cites (Wilson, M. I. & Daly, M. Who kills whom in spouse killings? On the exceptional sex ratio of spousal homicides in the United States. Criminology. 30:189-215). Her findings were very interesting. Margo Wilson concluded that the primary reason for wife killings was (perceived or real) infidelity. Interestingly, there were few documented husbands killed by wives for infidelity, though as we know, husbands are more likely to have extra-marital sex. The main reason wives kill husbands was for physical or emotional abuse. Men it seems are hardwired to go ballistic with rage or free fall into depression when faced with their wives sharing their bodies with someone else. Paradoxically, women are hardwired to share their bodies. A young mother for instance, will have sexual intercourse with her husband at 7am, breast feed her infant at 8am, have her toddler on her hip at 8:30 and still shave her legs for the examination of her male and female office co-workers. Women understand that in public their breasts, hips and legs are "shared" as much as their face. Men know it too but frequently go crazy when it involves their wife.
Two very popular films that illustrate this point are Unfaithful (2002- R) and Indecent Proposal (1993- R). Both films are about husbands' response to a wife's infidelity. In Unfaithful the response was homicide and in Indecent Proposal the response was deep depression. In both films the husbands are tortured by wanting to know the explicit details of their wives' extra-marital sex, despite the extreme pain that such details produced.
When our oldest daughter was four, she loved the story of Dumbo. She wanted to have the story read to her every night. The moral of this classic Disney animation is "the very thing that holds you down (in Dumbo's case it was his ears) is the thing that lets you fly." The secret missed by Margo Wilson's research and the movies Unfaithful and Indecent Proposal is that wives having sex with other men is one of the strongest erotic fantasy of men. Somewhere deep inside the hardwiring of men's brains there is this place that goes ballistic when their wives are sexual with others. A micro-inch away from this spot is another spot of highly aroused pleasure from the same event. This second spot is the subject of the Italian film All the Ladies Do It.
All the Ladies Do It is a sometimes funny and very stylish film by the Italian erotic film director Tinto Bass. The story follows Diana (played by Claudia Koll), a very attractive middle age wife who deeply loves her husband but also deeply loves being caressed and fondled and loved by other men. Diana, as with all of Tinto Bass's leading women characters, has beautifully broad Italian hips and proudly unshaven genitals, both of which are displayed throughout the film. Diana's husband is very aroused by the fantasy of her having sex with other men. He frequently encourages her to "make-up" explicit details of these fantasies during their lovemaking. The catch is that the detailed stories are real and not fantasies. When Diana's husband finds out the truth, his hardwiring jumps the circuit to the ballistic side.
The movies Unfaithful and Indecent Proposal, though teasing their viewers with erotic scenes of illicit sex, end with a moral message of marital destruction. All the Ladies Do It ends with the married couple embracing and celebrating this pleasure side of the male brain. All the Ladies Do It is a very explicit and erotic film. I enjoyed it greatly. I strongly recommend it, particularly if you enjoy the non-ballistic side of the male brain.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
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