Sex in Film

Room in Rome (2010) - NR

2012-01-07T20:06:00.001-05:00

Room in Rome is a beautiful and very erotic film. It is the story of two young women meeting for a single night erotic encounter. But the film is so much more. The director Julio Medem captures all the subtle shadows of two beautiful naked women in a dimly light exotic Rome hotel room. Through the women remain nude throughout the film; the erotic shadows lessen as the past painful secrets of the women are revealed. The haunting soundtrack from Russian Red with the hit single “Loving Strangers” creates a perfect mood for this film. 1/6/12

Erotic Massage Video Clips (Adults Only, Dailymotion video web site, couplesmassage group)

2011-12-08T12:15:00.001-05:00

Dailymotion (http://www.dailymotion.com/) is a video posting web site similar to YouTube. One difference however is that dailymotion allows explicit and erotic video postings. We have found the quality of the videos to be very good and very erotic. The site does occasionally have advertisements that delay the viewing of clips. The site is relatively safe from spyware or viruses. Nonetheless, viewing erotic material on the web ALWAYS requires virus protection software. A dailymotion account is required to view erotic content and the “family filter ON” must be clicked and turned “OFF”.

We have collected 8 erotic massage video clips in a group. The group is called “couplesmassage.” This group can be opened by searching on the site for “couplesmassage” or using the following linkhttp://www.dailymotion.com/group/couplesmassage#videoId=xlay6b

Erotic massage is a wonderful way to give pleasure, love and acceptance to your partner. Watching videos of erotic massage is a wonderful way to enjoy foreplay or mutual self play. Erotic massage videos are perfect companions to vibrators.The 8 erotic massage video clips on our group “couplesmassage” are ones we have particularly enjoyed. They range from 4 minutes to 10 minutes in length. Two clips feature Tantric massage instruction and demonstration. Another set of clips feature NUMA gel oriental full body massage. A final set of clips demonstrate erotic massage techniques. One 10 minute clip features a massage in an outdoor stone bathtub. The location is tropical with flower petals floating in the tub. This clip is truly an exotic and sensual scene. We welcome others to join this web group, comment on our selections and add links to erotic massage clips they have found enjoyable. 12/8/11

Friday Night Lights (2006-2010) TV-PG

2011-12-08T12:09:00.001-05:00

The history of this extraordinary series runs parallel to the drama it portrayed. Despite critical acclaim, this series drew little initial attention from viewers. It first aired on a small cable network and then at season three production was delayed due to the 2008 writers strike. The series was nearly cancelled before NBC picked it up and aired it secondary to the cabal outlet. Finally, in season five, it began to collect both Emmy nominations and awards. The popularity of this ended series is now greater than when it aired. Nearly all the actors have been picked up for new movie contracts.

I wish I could give 10 out of 10 stars to this series. This is one of my best if not my best television experience. Just to be clear, I love Mad Men, 6 Feet Under, etc. The story in this coming of age series is about people working hard to get it right. It is a genuinely heart-felt drama of people making mistakes, admitting to errors and then trying harder to get it right. The relations in this series are real. The pain and tears are real. The lessons about growing-up are real for all of us. This series is a treasure. You can rent the full five seasons from Netflix.

The series tracks the first sexual and love relationships of teenagers all centered on small town high school football. It also tracks the response of their parents. It teaches that relationships can change. These changes shift our feelings of love to new partners. Yet it models how friendships and respect can survive these changes. The series captures the first love sexual experience of young people in a way that reminds us all of the bitter sweet pain of our own youth. These memories are valuable for all of us to revisit. Friday Night Lights is scripted to encourage adult tears. These tears recognize similar pain in our history and encourage us to be better parents. 12/3/11

The Song of Lunch (11/13/11-Masterpiece Contemporary) TV-PBS

2011-12-08T12:01:00.001-05:00

A 1 hour screen play following a narrative poem of the same name by Christopher Reid. Alan Rickman and Emma Thompson play former lovers.Fifteen years have passed since their love affair ended. They meet for lunch, their first since separation. She is affable and sensitive from the start, and he awkward, then dour, then disconnected altogether, dominated by everyone and everything, even the wine. Their lives have been wholly different in the intervening years. She's well married to a successful author and appears happy and robust. His poems never found much of an audience and his days working for a publisher are taken up with the literary failings of other writers, or, perhaps worse, the occasional discovery of a new and brilliant manuscript. What the heck was he thinking when he invited her?This is a film about a man with inside voices, not crazy and psychotic voices, but inside voices. He is so caught up with himself that even in the presence of the one person who has given him the most joy in his life, and most erotic joy at that, he chooses to get drunk.Filmed from the back and revisited several times, you are there with him in their lovemaking long past. And that's the point. He's never moved on. Lunch together would be just the time to clear away a few sore spots that might remain, replacing them with small affections. But that is not to be.Rickman and Thompson are masterful. Watching their faces is to take in a parallel script, not always compatible with their lines. This is an accomplished little film, with some clever surprises. Sexual intimacy is a central element of the plot and the on-screen sex most effective. What's also remarkable is its appearance on broadcast TV on Sunday evening. This film is also available on line.This is a film that encourages us to not spend many years thinking and drinking away the lost sexual and intimacy pleasures. This is a film that illustrates the failure that results from not changing the inside voices. Submitted by David R. 12/7/11

Blue Valentine (2010) - R

2011-06-16T12:38:00.001-04:00

This is a sad (blue) and disturbing film. It is also brilliantly acted and a must see. It pulls back the cover on some of the most painful exchanges between people who once loved each other and now hold each other in contempt. This is not a story of good person / bad person but in the end both are contributing to the pain. The film moves forward and backward in time giving the audience scenes from better times. However, even the better times were not that good. The film’s ads caution the audience regarding explicit sexuality. After seeing the film I honestly could not remember seeing explicit sex. Perhaps the film was so painful that even the sex could not be recognized apart from the couple’s dysfunction. See this film for the award nominating acting and screenplay. Be prepared to be disturbed. 6/15/11

Raising Victor Vargas (2002) - R

2011-05-26T17:41:00.000-04:00

There are so many coming of age films. It is a type of film where young adults become adults, “or sort of”. Sex is always either the headline or the sub-text. All of this is true with Raising Victor Vargas. However, the film makes a major shift about 40 minutes in. The youth teens, so hip and so sexual, stop their lives and flip their world to care for their grandmother. They stop their own searching for identity, personally and sexually, and take care of their family. The result is a maturity and sexuality beyond their years and perhaps beyond our years.

This is a film to watch with your teenagers when you feel like you are speaking different languages. Take a deep breath; it has a lot of sex. That is good. Teenagers have a lot of sex. However, teenagers have less intercourse than you think and are SO struggling for relationships. 12/16/10

Stage Beauty (2004) - R

2011-05-26T17:35:00.000-04:00

Stage Beauty is a fictional story based on the historical event of English Theater allowing women to play women. As we know, Shakespeare’s plays were composed of all male casts. Women’s roles were played by men. This film follows the fictional event of an actor, played by Billy Crudup, who specialized in playing women. Crudup’s character becomes unemployed when women play women. This leads to a personal crises where he loses his acting identify, personal gender identity and sexual identity.

Billy Crudup acting in this film is excellent. The 17th Century set design and costumes deserve an award. However, this film is remarkable because of a mind bending gender and sexual theme. The theme is how a homosexual man can teach a woman how to make love to him. Conversely, how then she can enjoy the sexual pleasures from a man skilled at being a woman. This is nothing but pure Shakespeare. Unfortunately, the film was not well received. I recommend it. 5/26/11

The Fabulous Baker Boys (1989)- R

2010-12-05T09:49:00.001-05:00

Michelle Pfeiffer delivers a well deserved Oscar nomination as a sexy, street wise jazz singer in this excellent romantic drama. The Baker brothers, who in real life are the Bridges’ brothers of Jeff and Beau, revive their nightclub act with the addition of a gorgeous lady singer. Her charm and seductive voice steal the show both in the screenplay and the real movie.

The film has a great music score. It also portrays the often contradictory obligations of romantic and family relationships. 12/4/10

Remember Me (2010) PG-13

2010-12-05T09:46:00.000-05:00

There are few things more painful than the death of a young person. We invest aspirations for improving life in our youth. We see purity in the romance of young people’s love. We are inspired by the idealism of youth. Young people are the future both symbolically and in reality. When a young person dies there is a death of the future and the pain seems nearly unbearable.

In the romantic drama “Remember Me” three young people die. The movie is a story about how two families respond to these deaths. Their responses change from nearly unbearable pain to anger to hope and finally to reconciliation.. Robert Pattinson plays the role of a young man filled with rage because of his brother’s death and because he blames that death on his father. Emilie de Ravin plays the role of a daughter who witnessed the murder of her young mother. These characters fall in love and partly from their sexual passion find healing.

My 28 year old daughter died 9 months ago. The story in “Remember Me” accurately reflects much of my family’s journey through grief. I recommend this film. 11/9/10

Henry & June (1990)- NC 17

2010-10-17T09:56:00.001-04:00

“Age does not protect you from love. But love to some extent, protects you from age.” Anail Nin

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Anail Nin

The movie Henry & June is really not about the famous author Henry Miller (Tropic of Cancer, etc.) and his wife June Miller, but about the love affairs Anail Nin had with both Henry & June. Set in Paris in the 1930, this film is beautifully filmed. Maria de Mediros is perfect as Anail. She captures the childlike curiosity Anail had for eroticism and open relationships. This film is a must for understanding the left-bank Paris culture of the 30’s, as art and literature tore away from Victorian romanticism. The sexuality in this film is well done and enjoyable. This is a beautiful, sensual and thought provoking film.
10/17/10

Damage (1992)- R

2010-07-26T09:33:00.002-04:00

People usually think of passion as an emotion. Sex researchers however are finding that certain kinds of passion are driven by a biochemical cocktail similar to opium. When this cocktail floods the system it produces both pleasure and uncharacteristic irrational obsessive behavior. A person under this spell often cannot sleep, eat or get the other person out of his minds. We call this falling in love, but actually it is falling out of reason and into passion. It’s wonderful! However, thank god it does not last because this condition can cause damage.

The characters played by Jeremy Irons and Juliette Binoche in the movie Damage are intoxicated by passion. They can barely speak to each other and cannot take their eyes off each other. Their passion cannot be quenched until their cloths are pulled off and their bodies joined in scenes of steamy eroticism. They then try to talk and try to make logic of their dangerous passion that could destroy their families. However, the passion returns. Their bodies are again flooded with endorphins that provide great pleasure but in the end do great damage.

How can very smart people throw their careers and families away by passion? What exactly were Bill Clinton and Eliot Spitzer thinking? See the movie Damage to understand the answer to this question. This is a film with very good acting and a strong, erotic story. The story is both sexually arousing and frightening. We are all a biochemical cocktail away from high passion and possible damage.

Films Recommended for Viewing and Reviewed on this Site- By Subject

2010-07-13T09:36:00.004-04:00

Coming of Age: These films deal with adolescents and young people’s early or first sexual experience, or young people’s experimentation with sex. The stories exemplify positive and negative sex education. Suggested use: parents/adolescents adjusting to change, college sex education classes, challenges for sexual discussions, setting the mood for eroticism
Kissing on the Mouth (2005)- UR
YPF (2007)- UR
Shortbus (2006)- UR
Private Lesions (1981)- R
Y Tu Mama Tambien (2001) – UR “And Your Mama Too”
Pretty Baby (1978)-R
The Man in the Moon (1991)- PG13

Cross Generation Sex: These films deal with sexual relations between an adult and younger person. Some of these films deal with criminal child abuse. The stories, sometimes erotic and often painful, illustrate imbalance of power. Suggested use: sexual abuse, restoring partner intimacy, sexual obsession.
The Lover (1992) – R
Notes on a Scandal (2006)- R
The Reader (2008)- R
The Woodsman (2004)- R
Malena (2000)-R

Steamy Romance: These films deal with loving and erotic relationship. The films often include nudity and erotic stories. Suggested use: restoring partner intimacy, setting the mood for eroticism.
Sea of Love (1989)- R
Dangerous Liaisons (1988)- R
Body Heat (1981) – R
Lady Chatterley (2006)- NR
Better Than Sex (2002)- R
Seventh Sense (1999)- NR
Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love (1997)- R
Red Shoe Diary: The Movie: Special Edition (1992)- R
Lady Chatterley's Lover (1981)- R
Before Sunrise -R (1995) and Before Sunset -R (2004)
Emmanuelle (1974)-NR
Sound of the Sea- (2001)-R

Steamy Drama: These films deal with life situation or love relationships with conflict and tension. The films often include explicit sexuality and eroticism. However, the films also include human drama that is provoked by the sexuality. Suggested use: restoring partner intimacy, setting the mood for eroticism, demonstrating conflict, Understanding the complexity of sexuality, sexual healing
Damage (1992)- R
Basic Instincts (1992)- R
Lake Consequence (1993) –R
En La Cama (2005)- NR
Something About Sex (1998)- R
Secret Things (2002)- NR
Sex and Lucia (2002)- R
Confusions of An Unmarried Couple (2006) –UR
Lie With Me (2005)- NR
Brown Bunny (2004) UR
The Door in the Floor (2004) R
Anatomy of Hell (2004) – UR
9 Songs (2004)-NR
The Piano (1993)-R
Bride of the Wind (2001)-R
I, A Woman (1966)- UR
The Mother (2003) -R

Steamy Comedy: These films deal with life situation or love relationships with humor. The films often include explicit sexuality and eroticism. However, the films also include human comedy that is provoked by the sexuality. Suggested use: restoring partner intimacy, setting the mood for eroticism, demonstrating conflict. Understanding the complexity of sexuality, sexual healing
The Wedding Banquet (1993)- R
Sirens (1994)- R
Better than Chocolate (1999)- R

Romance: These films deal with love and relationship. Some of the films are comedies and others are drama. These are usually considered “chick flicks,” but men love them too. Suggested use: restoring partner intimacy, setting the mood for eroticism.
Notebook (2004)- PG123
It's Complicated (2009)- R
The Duchess (2008, PG-13)

Sex and Religion: These films deal with the crossing of religious traditions and sexuality. Frequently, this meeting is one of conflict and struggle. Suggested use: religious conflict, religious guilt, culture education, understanding sex in the context of religion.
Trembling Before G_D (2001)- UR
The Holy Land (2003)-R

Affairs and Infidelity: These films deal with affairs and sex with partners outside the relationship. Suggested use: dealing with affairs, setting the mood for eroticism, demonstrating conflict.
The End of an Affair (1999)- R
A Walk on the Moon (1999)-R
All The Ladies Do It (1992)- NR
Eyes Wide Shut (1999)- R

Sex Therapy and Documentary: These films deal with improving the quality of sex within a relationship, sexual healing and understanding of sexuality. They also record the history of sexuality. These films are frequently educational with instruction. Suggested use: improving the quality of erotic play, setting the mood for eroticism, understanding sexual problems, examples of sexual healing, history of sexual studies
Private Practices: The Story of a Sex Surrogate (1985)- NR
Cathouse: The Series (2005)- NR
Bliss (1997)-R
Kinsey (2004)- R
Loving Sex- Ultimate Massage (1998) – Educational
Friends & Lovers, Sex and Interviews with Real Couples (2005)- X
The Joys of Erotic Massage (Educational)
Xana & Dax: When Opposites Attract (2005)-X
Inside Deep Throat (2005)- NC-17

Polyamous and Swinging Lifestyle: These films deal with sexual relation with more than one person or couples, OR with couples agreeing that their partners can have sex with other people. All participants are knowledgeable and consenting. Suggested use: improving the quality of erotic play, setting the mood for eroticism, understanding variations of sexual relationships.
Kissing The Sky (1998)- R
"Swinging: From Fantasy to Reality" (2004)- Educational
Delta of Venus (1995) NC-17
One Night Stand (1997)- R
The Lifestyle: Swinging in America (2000)- Documentary
Head in the Clouds (2004)-R
My Best Friend's Wife (2001)-R
Henry & June (1990) NC-17

Sexual Fetish: These films deal with the sexual eroticism that people attach to certain object or certain behaviors. Suggested use: improving the quality of erotic play, setting the mood for eroticism, understanding sexual problems, examples of sexual healing, history of sexual studies
Frivolous Lola (1998)- NR
Romance- Director’s Cut (1999)- NR
Secretary (2002)-R
9 1/2 weeks (1986) - NR

Gay and Lesbian Sexuality: These films deal with sexual relations with the same sex. Some of the films are erotic and many are studies of coming out in a predominately heterosexual world. Suggested use: improving the quality of erotic play, setting the mood for eroticism, understanding sexual problems, examples of sexual healing, history of sexual studies, understanding alternative sexual lifestyles, talking to others about their sexual lifestyle
Brokeback Mountain (2005)- R
Girl’s Play (2004) NR
Watching You (2003)-NR
Tipping The Velvet (2002)- NR
Therese and Isabelle (1968)- UR
Amour de Famme: A Woman’s Love (2004)- R

Inside Deep Throat (2005) NC-17

2010-07-03T21:42:00.001-04:00

Reprinted from Netflix review

I have to say this was the funniest film I've seen in a long time. I found myself laughing out loud in the theater, something I rarely do, and I was not alone. Maybe it's just funny to see aging porn stars with tight jeans, belly hanging over the jeans, and a button down shirt that should be buttoned up. Linda Lovelace was dealt a bad deck of cards. But how she dealt with it was even worse. You feel sorry for her, but it almost seems like either she was manipulated or the manipulator. You be the judge. For those of you who dont' know the basic plot to "Deep Throat", here you go: Linda Lovelace could perform an act so extraordinary that they made a film out of it. Yes, they show it in "Inside Deep Throat", hence the NC-17 rating. I have to say, er, um, it's impressive, to say the least. The basic jist of "Deep Throat" is that she could not experience pleasure any normal way because her sexual organs lay in her throat. Ha ha, problem solved, every man's dream. What this documentary goes into is how it was the best grossing film of all time. DT was made for $25,000 and has grossed over $600 million. It caused quite the scandal when it was released, even the government tried to shut it down. It opened in Times Square before Times Square became the neon tourist trap it is now. DT, while riding on the heels of a sexual revolution, pushed back America's boundaries of tolerance. Far back. This is definitely a documentary at it's finest, but not for the faint of heart or those that can't stand the NC-17 rating.

The Duchess (2008, PG-13)

2010-06-27T09:04:00.000-04:00

Submitted by David

This is a story of sexual and emotional collisions amidst English politics of the late 18th century. The experiences could fit in the 20th century, or even the 21st, current gender politics and sexuality notwithstanding. While sexual desire and intimation is evident everywhere (the clothes are titillating enough), sex is not generously given or gratefully accepted. What a shame.

Georgiana, soon to be Duchess of Devonshire (Keira knightly) is but 17 when betrothed to the older Duke (Ralph Fiennes – fittingly Voldemort in Harry Potter films.) Other than arranging marriage, he hardly woos her, nor makes love, in any of their couplings. She is the vessel to produce a son. He is inclined toward other sexual exploits.

Lady Bess Foster (Hayley Atwell) is one such object. Bess and Georgiana become friends after Bess rebuffs the Duke’s advances at a social gathering. In time, and with grace and affection, Bess brings Georgiana to orgasm. Bess also reawakens Georgiana’s affection toward a male friend of her youth (Charles Grey, played by Dominic Cooper) who is emerging as a politician. But the Duke eventually has his way with Bess.

Georgiana finally produces a son, after a string of daughters and still-born boys.
She then obtains an interlude away from the household and becomes a lover, at last, with Charles, but much else worsens and overtakes. Years go by and Duke and Duchess find and reinforce a trace of affection, probably based on difficulties shared, material necessity, and political expedience.

The film invites reflection on the life of Diana of Wales, ended by a 1997 auto crash. Leaving that there, the sets, clothes, musical scores, supporting cast, and a host of extras, make The Duchess well worth viewing for 110 minutes.

It's Complicated (2009)- R

2010-06-25T09:44:00.000-04:00

Is it cheating to have sex with your ex-husband, who is married to a woman that sleep with your ex when he wasn’t your ex? This is one of the many complicated questions raised by Meryl Streep playing Jane and Alec Baldwin playing Jake in this funny romantic comedy. This is a very entertaining, at times hilarious, film about the complexities of divorce, re-marriage, blended families and sex. A more complicated question is how can healing of a fractured marriage happen without doing more damage to current relationships? Regardless, we are all happy that Jane’s sexual fire is again ignited and with it comes all the energy to again enjoy life. For over 30 years Meryl Streep has delivered and delivered. We almost think of her as part of our family. 6/25/10

Notebook (2004)- PG13

2010-06-24T18:43:00.001-04:00

Reprinted in part from Netflex review

There are things in "The Notebook" that you'll figure out within 5 minutes of the movie actually starting, but that doesn't ruin the movie. You'll also be able to figure out to some degree why he's reading the notebook but you won't know until near the end of the movie how the notebook came about and the motivation behind reading it out loud. There are only about 10 minutes dealing with the "war story" part of the movie and it's necessary to explain some things. The last half hour brings everything together and it's highly emotional. The actual ending is just what it should be and altogether fitting. All in all, the movie runs you through every emotion in the human spectrum and, in my opinion, it's the best "love story" I've ever seen or read. The storyline of this movie is exceptional, and James Garner, Gena Rowlands & the supporting cast brought this saga to life in a most extraordinary manner. The movie is terrific, and one I won’t forget for a long, long time – maybe never.

The Man in the Moon (1991)- PG13

2010-06-21T09:04:00.000-04:00

reprinted in-part from Netflix review

This is an excellent coming-of-age/first romance movie, masterfully directed by Robert Mulligan who brought us "To Kill A Mockingbird", "Fear Strikes Out" and "Summer of 42", among others. This was his last directorial effort and he picked a fine film in which to close out his career. The stars of this movie are the kids, Dani, played by Reese Witherspoon in her film debut, Maureen, played by Emily Warfield and Court, played by Jason London. Warfield and London have since had moderate theatrical success, but Witherspoon has been the one to achieve box office stardom...and the reason for that disparity is pretty evident in this movie as Witherspoon (who was only 15 in 1991) already comes across as an accomplished actor. The story of the two sisters (Witherspoon and Warfield) falling in love with the same boy (London) is a familiar one, but never portrayed better than here. Combine that with a near-tragedy that strikes the pregnant mother (Tess Harper) and a real tragedy that strikes as the heart of the teen romance and you've got the makings of a real tear jerker. Mulligan's intelligent direction though keeps this from becoming too cliched and maudlin and the lessons learned after tragedy (and near tragedy) strikes helps to reunite the sisters and the family.

This excellent film should be seen because of the brilliant performance of Reese Witherspoon. However, it should also be seen because of the outstanding examples of parenting, played by Sam Waterston and Tess Harper. The film demonstrates how parents can affirm the first sexual and love feelings of a 14 year old. The parents don’t panic despite pain and tragedy. They model strength and acceptance without melodrama. I highly recommend this film.

The Lover (1992) – NR

2010-06-20T10:00:00.001-04:00

The photography in this film is outstanding. From the opening close-up of a young 15 year-old French girl in Saigon to the panoramic street and country scenes of Colonial Vietnam in 1929, the film’s cinematography is beautiful. The details in the shots are refined to a degree that the audience can nearly smell and taste the food cooking from street vendors. The director Jean-Jacques Annaud takes this highly refined gift of cinematography into the bedroom to capture the beauty and the sweat of lovemaking. The NR version of The Lover has highly erotic and explicit sexual scenes of the young French girl, played by Jane March and the lover, played by Tony Leung Ka Fai. Though steamy, the film is a romance centered on forbidden love. The film was nominated for the 1993 Oscar for Best Cinematography.

The film opens as a young French girl from a dysfunctional family that has fallen on hard times is returning to boarding school. An older wealthy Chinese gentleman offers her a ride into town. She accepts. Their hands touch and his passion grows. That she notices his passion is obvious. We follow the couple as they secretly meet for their lovemaking. She gives her innocence then her passion and her body. The erotic scenes are filmed from a small first floor hotel room, with the clatter and smells of the city right outside their door.

The Lover is about so much more than forbidden love. It is about race, class, wealth, privilege, family violence, traditions and religion. The story of this affair as seen in the context of these two families is as complex a tapestry as the crowded streets of Saigon. This is a powerful drama not to be missed.

Sea of Love (1989) – R

2010-06-20T09:58:00.001-04:00

Ellen Barkin is very hot in the movie, Sea of Love. Her body and the love scenes are hot but her character is steaming with hot energy. She plays a strong woman who knows what she wants and is going to get it, both in and out of bed. The movie brings Al Pacino together with Ellen Barkin in a story of multiple murders. The story is a “who done it” plot that keeps you watching.

Private Practices: The Story of a Sex Surrogate (1985) - NR

2009-11-22T17:14:00.002-05:00

This documentary follows the experience of a sex surrogate and two of her clients and then follows all of them into their separate psychotherapy sessions. This is a film of the 80’s, a time in which we as a culture were more progressive.

This film is not erotic but is touching and warm. It is for people who like sex from the neck up as much as the neck down. The surrogate and clients talk about what for them is erotic intimacy. All three confess that it is sometimes hard to capture and harder to sustain. Men should see this film if they are confused about how to pleasure a woman. Women should see this film if they want to understand why men are confused. I recommend this film for people either receiving or providing couples therapy. It is an honest and helpful film.

Trembling Before G-d (2001)- UR

2009-10-13T14:37:00.001-04:00

“Trembling Before G-d” is a thought provoking documentary that explores the struggle within the orthodox Jewish faith regarding their gay and lesbian people. The documentary captures sincere people of Jewish faith holding traditional views of sin. The documentary also captures sincere gay and lesbian people of Jewish faith whose lives are devastated because of these traditional views. The film, shot on the streets of Brooklyn and Jerusalem, provides a rich texture of religious tradition. A tradition however that is inflexible and intolerant. The most telling segment of the film asks the provocative question, “Can G-d change His mind?” Apparently, the question has been asked by others, Moses and Jonah in the Old Testament to name just two. The film leaves the question unanswered.

The Reader (2008)- R

2009-08-20T19:01:00.002-04:00

Review submitted by d.r.

The Reader has become something of a frequent flier in conversations at home. Our discussions flit and hover like disturbed hornets around whether criminal sex with a juvenile adolescent, and failing to unearth wickedness in someone who is a party to the horrific crimes of the Nazis, are fit subjects for cinema that suggests sympathy with the characters. One of us is certain that severe embarrassment over illiteracy cannot possibly be enough to explain becoming an SS guard, but the other thinks that social unawareness and expedience could do so. Our contrary interpretations are that ordinary human limitations and ineptitude, sadly, can explain essentially all the events of the film, OR, more antagonistically, one character is severely damaged and the other evil, and the story irresponsibly underplayed this.

Regardless of the correct interpretation, The Reader is a brilliant film well deserving of Best Picture nomination. The film did not win Best Picture perhaps because its controversial content.

The story follows the lives of two people 20 years apart in age. It begins with a brief love affair and ends in tragedy. Principal actors are Kate Winslet (clearly a superb performance by Kate Winslet, winner of the 2009 Best Actress) as Hanna Schmitz, Ralph Fiennes as Michael Berg, and David Kross as Berg, at a younger age.

The sex is often lovely and very explicit. It could titillate were it not for the painful and tragic events to follow. Hanna Schmitz skillfully and erotically seduces a young boy into a sexual affair. However, after a time, she will not accommodate his lust until he reads to her: classics, plays, poetry, novels, and short stories. She basks in these occasions; attentive, curious, delighted, eclectic, and liberated. It becomes clear to Michael that she is illiterate, though she will not say so. One day he finds her apartment vacant and he is devastated.

The events that follow leave an emotional scar on Michael Berg from which he never recovers. We follow him into law school where Hanna Schmitz’s and his paths cross again; he as a law student observer and she as a defendant on trial for Nazis war crimes. It is soon clear that her perception of the events in question was that she was not a hands-on contributor to societal catastrophe. Rather, she viewed them with neutral emotions and with pride in her work skills and orderly accomplishments.

The engrossing, prolonged, strongly sexual romance early in the movie, in the midst of immiscible backgrounds, unequal ages, and disabling limitations of character, is genuine for the enacted lives and circumstances. For Michael it was a deeply erotic and love experience. However, for Hanna, was it solely perfunctory as a means to have “a reader?” Reviewers and acquaintances complain of the criminal sexual taking of a 15 year old boy. Others object that Hanna Schmitz is unredeemable Nazi dross. I think neither criticism suffices. Yes, the sex is problematic and consequential, but with reliable heat, it maintains intimacy in its time. The characters invoke compassion.

My partner and I have hardly resolved the questions noted at the start. In defense of my position, I think the invitation to forgive Hanna Schmitz implied in The Reader does not mean support for predatory sex with a minor, nor dulling the anger due the Nazis, nor halting justice. But it allows us to look closer.

Notes on a Scandal (2006)- R

2009-08-20T18:56:00.001-04:00

There are certain very disturbing sexual passions. Some people gain pleasure from erotic fantasies centered on such passions. When acted upon, there are those fantasies that are criminal offenses and can destroy everyone they touch. Most certainly, the actions destroy their owner.

Sheba Hart, played by Cate Blanchett, is destroyed by her sexual passions. Sheba is an attractive wife, mother and high school teacher. She has been conscientious about her cared-for two stepchildren, one of whom has Downs’ Syndrome. Her sexual compulsion is that she cannot break free from a sexual affair with one of her 15 year old students. This is a different story than the one told in movies such as Private Lessons (1981), where an older woman mentors the sexual instructions of a delighted teenager. It is also different than the one told in The Reader (2008), where a young boy’s deep love for an older woman turns tragic when her earlier war crimes are revealed. Rather, Notes on a Scandal is a painful story of an adult needing the erotic attention of a young adolescent. Her need borders on addiction where self-affirmation depends on the sexual attentions from this student. This is probably the essential element of exploitation.

This is a very good film with exceptional acting from Cate Blanchett and Judi Dench. The film is important because it explores the complexity of this painful sexual topic.

Basic Instincts (1992)- R

2009-08-20T18:52:00.000-04:00

Sharon Stone is hot, erotic and very controversial in this 1993 Oscar-nominated erotic thriller. This film is worth seeing if only for the “Sharon Stone police interrogation scene.” Stone plays a writer accused of murder. This creates exciting possibilities for the plot of her true-crime book series. During the police interrogation, she crosses and re-crosses her legs in ever-more revealing poses. Somehow Ms. Stone’s character forgot to wear panties to the police station. The exposure is very revealing for both the police and the viewer.This excellent film is very erotic, explicit and suspenseful. Though dated, it is a film not to miss.

Kissing on the Mouth (2005)- UR

2009-04-05T10:37:00.001-04:00

The film Kissing on the Mouth is an excellent independent film. This film is very “Indy”. More than 60% of the shots are extreme close-ups where a viewer can count the pimples on the face and elsewhere. It is a moving picture of a “Face Book” and “Tweeter” world. It takes Reality TV to the extreme. However where today’s Reality TV is made up and becomes a non-real event, Kissing on the Mouth becomes painfully real.

The film follows four 23 year olds just out of college and tracks 3 days in their lives. It tracks their lovemaking, their haircuts (both on their head and between their legs) and all their other minor and major events. Most of all it tracks their unsuccessful attempt to talk. It so accurately records their addiction to sexual touch and so accurately records their inability to connect with words. This is what makes this film important to see. The sex is graphic and real but is overshadowed by the foursome’s constant but futile attempt to talk. The film is so very painful to watch.

Please ignore the poor Netflix ratings and see this film if you enjoy filmmaking that takes risks. This filmmaking frankly looks at sex, relationships and being 23 years old

Lake Consequence (1993)- R

2009-04-05T10:36:00.001-04:00

This movie is saved by a most erotic 15 minute hot tub sequence in the middle of the film. The three actors Billy Zane, Hollie Hummel and Joan Severance give a sexual threesome performance that is outstanding. The scene provides equal time for three separate pairings while the uninvolved other watches. The scene is beautifully filmed and contains a “steamy” effect from both the actors on the screen and the hot water.

Unfortunately, the 45 minutes before and after this scene are poorly scripted. The plot has just slightly more direction than a soft porn skin flick. The characters are left to move from moments of deep depression to angry outbursts without purpose. Nonetheless, I recommend the film for the stylish erotic threesome scene that contains very exciting bi-sexual play from the ladies.

Cathouse: The Series: Disk 1, (2005)- NR

2009-04-05T10:33:00.001-04:00

There are two common views of prostitution. The first is that the women are victims in a form of slavery. The second is that the women gain no sexual pleasure or companionship from their craft. The HBO series Cathouse provides evidence that these views are at times incorrect. The documentary series portrays ladies as skilled, high energy performers, required to shift from roles of sex therapist to confessor depending on the client. Though potentially lucrative, the work seems exhausting and requires much emotional intensity. Few women can be successful in this profession.

Season 1 disk was both surprisingly educational and erotic. In two of the episodes the ladies instruct their customers on how best to please a woman. Customers are instructed to start with only the lightest of licks and sucks, increasing the intensity only at the invitation of the woman. Such information is equal to that of the best sex therapist or sex researcher. The customers are quick learners. Their pleasure increases as they bring the ladies to real orgasms. The ladies enjoy the pleasure and increased financial rewards of such instruction. The series contains graphic and erotic sex as well as segments where a customer only wants to talk.

I strongly recommend this series because it contains excellent educational and erotic segments. It also contains models of women who can talk openly and with insight about their sexuality, the sexuality of their customers and, therefore, the sexuality of us all.

Dangerous Liaisons (1988)- R

2009-04-05T10:31:00.001-04:00

The 1988 academy award film Dangerous Liaisons is worth seeing more than once. The costumes are breathtaking and the acting of Glenn Close, John Malkovich and Michelle Pfeifer is brilliant. It is hard to understand why only 2 of the 3 rather than all 3 were not Oscar nominees. The costumes and acting in this film is so dominate that it may take a second viewing to appreciate the storyline.

This is a film about sex. More specifically, this is a film about using sex as an instrument to gain revenge. Glenn Close and John Malkovich play former lovers locked in a contest of who can best sexually exploit others. The contest is humorous and at times very erotic. However, the contest becomes tragic as it becomes clear that the purpose of the game is extracting revenge from each other rather than exploitation of others.

This is a remarkable film with a theme that is as current in 2009 as it was in 1988 or in the 18th century. Dangerous Liaisons should be seen twice by people obsessed with extracting revenge from former lovers.

Kiss The Sky (1998)- R

2009-02-10T11:35:00.001-05:00

The movie “Kiss the Sky” has many flaws. Segments of the film keep flashing back to me making this movie hard to dismiss though, and the lengthy and explicit sexual threesome scene is one such flashback moment. However, the strongest flashbacks are of Jeff and Marty’s confessions that their lives have no meaning or purpose.

Jeff (William L. Petersen) and Marty (Gary Cole) are long time friends. They both are depressed. They believe their lives are going nowhere. On a trip to the Philippines they both fall in love with the same woman, Andy, (Sheryl Lee), and yes, she falls in love with both of them. Jeff and Marty believe in sharing and so does Andy. Sometimes the sharing is in the same bed and sometimes Jeff gets Monday and Marty gets Tuesday. Andy gives them both erotic pleasure but also hope for a new beginning in life.

“Kiss the Sky”, with all of its flaws, gives respect to male depression. This is the type of depression that is mindful and seeks meaning. This type of depression is dangerously close to suicide. The film gives value to the friendship of these men. The friendship, along with sex that they share with a woman, gives them hope.

I think film provides many expressions for female bonding around sex that lead to hope. A few examples are Sex in the City, The L-Word and Waiting to Exhale. Kiss the Sky comes close to a achieving this for men.

YPF (2007)- UR

2008-12-14T17:12:00.000-05:00

YPF stands for Young People Fucking. This very very funny film follows one evening with 5 different couples as they make love. The five stories are divided into Prelude; Foreplay; Sex; Interlude; Orgasm; and Afterglow. There are five separate stories. There is a lot of sex and nudity, but YPF is not so much an erotic film. It is more focused on the relationships of the couples and the awkwardness of trying to get laid. Each couple has there own issue as to why this task is not simple. This is a true laugh out loud movie.

Bliss (1997)- R

2008-12-14T17:11:00.002-05:00

Bliss is an important film that deals with three rarely discussed issues. The issues are childhood sexual abuse from a parent, the resulting marital sexual problems and finally the complexity of sexual healing. The film has had a small audience perhaps in part because of discomfort with these topics.

Joseph (Craig Sheffer) and Maria (Sheryl Lee) know from the start of their marriage that they have problems. Maria is unable to have an orgasm but that problem is the least of their troubles. Traditional mental health services prescribed long-term intensive psychotherapy yet this seems to offer little benefit for Maria. She then seeks an alternative therapy that includes Tantra sexual techniques and sexual surrogate treatment. That’s right, having sex with your therapist. Not surprisingly, Marie does not tell Joseph of her new treatment. Joseph accidentally finds out and is not pleased! The therapy turns from Maria to Joseph as he first threatens the therapist (Terence Stamp), then engages in treatment himself and finally facilitates Maria’s healing. The film’s sexuality is graphic and at times erotic.

Bliss presents a story of people taking very risky actions to heal themselves and their marriage. It presents the accurate dilemma of how only talking in traditional psychotherapy without experimenting with new actions rarely improves sexual health problems or for that matter, any problem. This is an important healing truth for the estimated 30% of people that have experienced some sort of childhood sexual abuse. Many adult sexual health problems are linked to these experiences. Bliss is a film that should be seen by all sexual abuse survivors. Moreover, it demonstrates strategies that could be helpful to all of us who want to improve our sexual health and sexual enjoyment. Most importantly the film demonstrates a couple deeply in love and willing to take significant risk to save their relationship.

I have not been a big fan of Tantra sexuality, mainly because of the near religious enthusiasm of its proponents. However, Bliss successfully peels away the healing Tantra techniques from the zealous eastern philosophy. Joseph experiences the healing qualities of Tantra in Bliss. This leads Maria to talk through the details of sexual intercourse with her father which began at age five. This scene is reason alone to see this movie.

Bliss is not a perfect film, yet it succeeds in both adult entertainment and adult education. This is a film for mature audiences, those mature, not just in age but also in capacity to address uncomfortable topics.

Private Lesions (1981)- R

2008-10-25T13:52:00.000-04:00

I do not believe this film could be made today. The storyline follows a wealthy adolescent boy played by Eric Brown seeking sexual excitement. He spies on a family maid, played by the very attractive Sylvia Krestel. The maid and the family butler conspire to sexually seduce the boy and then blackmail the family. The plot is thin and the acting is worse, with the exception of Eric and Sylvia. The film is controversial even today, because of highly erotic and explicit sexual scenes of an older women and younger boy. What makes this film noteworthy is the very real life “non-acting” of a sexually immature boy and a very sexually mature older woman.

I was amazed at how young the directors made Eric Brown appear until I researched his age. The film was released when he was 16 which made him 14-15 when the film was produced. He looks every bit of 14 in the film. Sylvia Krestel, from Emmanuel II fame, was 27 at the time of the filming. The film contains a number of highly explicit sex scenes between these two actors. One scene is where they bath together and Eric Brown is clearly fondled beneath the water while enjoying Sylvia Krestel’s breasts. The acting reflects the real life awkwardness and embarrassment of a young boy. Simultaneously, Krestel plays the real life comforter and almost nurturer as she tries to makes him feel comfortable in this very erotic scene. Maybe that is what makes the scene so erotic.

Both today and in 1981 the actions in this film violated the statutory rape and child pornography laws in many states. Nevertheless, this film captures the erotic fantasies of most 15 year old boys and is a major theme in erotic films for both adult men and women. Recently, there have been a number of highly published convictions of female high school teachers taking similar liberties with their students. The film does a good job in capturing the ideal fantasy of an older lover guiding a younger person into their first sexual experience. Unfortunately, in real life these encounters frequently leave both young men and women feeling distraught. The hormones of the young people work fine but the emotions are working at a much younger age.

En La Cama (2005)- NR

2008-10-05T10:03:00.002-04:00

Is this a lasting treasure
Or just a moments pleasure
Can I believe the magic in your eyes
Will you still love me tomorrow

I thought of the lyrics of Carol King after seeing Matias Bizes excellent film En La Cama (In the Bed). There are few albums that capture a generation. Carol Kings Tapestry surely is one. The haunting lyrics tell about sex, tell about being a woman and tell about being human. Her lyrics capture so much more than 1971 feminism. They capture the wish of a generation to embrace a freer sexuality without dishonoring its value. Carol Kings lyrics are the better prayers of my generation.

As with the lyrics of Tapestry, the dialogue in En La Cama will haunt you for many days. We meet the couple in a hotel room bed making love. The couple found each other at a friend’s party. They do not know each others first names. Over the next hour and 25 minutes we watch the couple make love two more times. The scenes are explicit with ample nudity. However, between these brief explicit scenes we are riveted by their dialogue.

This is a story about a one night stand, a one night sexual emotional experience. Both partners know they will likely never see each other again. The talk begins with playful games of ‘do you remember my name?’ It leads to multiple and sometime painful deceptions then disclosures. As with psychotherapy, it ends with each finding out more about themselves then their partner.

This Chilean movie with sub-titles is filmed solely from a hotel room. Even with subtitles the screenplay of this film is brilliant. As with the lyrics of Tapestry, the words will remind you of your own brief love experiences. People who the chemistry was perfect, the intimacy immediate and who were just as quickly gone. Maybe the chemistry was so perfect because it was only for one night.

A Walk on the Moon (1999)-R; Unfaithful (2002)- R

2008-06-26T12:25:00.002-04:00

Over the course of three years Diane Lane, a talented and subtle actress, starred in a pair of films with similar plots but strikingly different resolutions. In each film Lane portrays a mother who is also wife to a devoted, hard-working husband. And in each she is also a woman who finds something missing in her life. She wants something more. In both films she enters an affair with an attractive poet-artist-musician. The sex is passionate and explicit. However, in Unfaithful (based on Claude Chabrol's 1969 classic La Femme Infidele, and for which Lane received a Best Actress Oscar nomination) the affair ends in tragedy; the husband, played by Richard Gere, commits murder. In A Walk on the Moon the Lane character's husband, this one played by Liv Schreiber, successfully brings an end to the affair in a rather more positive, humane and satisfactory fashion; in an effort to rekindle their lost sexual excitement he attempts to learn to dance. I vote for the second ending and also enjoyed A Walk on the Moon much more than Unfaithful.

The failure of film and our culture to understand the subtle nature and full dimensions of extra-marital sex represents a failure to grapple with its complexity. Better films, regardless of the plot, are more engaging because they present three-dimensional characters, and avoid trite, simplistic, overly moralistic "lessons" for the viewer. Set in the year 1969, when astronauts first landed on Earth's closest neighbor and young people gamboled at Woodstock, A Walk on the Moon presents us with four complex characters who by turns reveal their complex reactions to extra-marital sex. This quartet; wife, husband, teenage daughter and mother-in-law, are all simultaneously able sincerely espouse the notion that the extramarital sex is wrong, and yet at the same time acknowledge their need to find something more in their life.

Anna Paguin, who was brilliant in The Piano (1993)-R, plays Lane's teenage. Paguin gives a wonderful performance as a daughter in deep and angry conflict with her mother, who rushes to have her own sexual experience and then is terrified by the prospect of her parents break-up. Lane is also excellent as a woman who experiences very erotic pleasure for the first time, yet lovingly attempts to protect and care for her distraught daughter. This is drama with much depth, complexity and ultimately a generous helping of sweet humanity.

In addition to its Aquarian setting, the film plays out against the backdrop of Jewish culture as expressed in summer family camps in the Catskills. The presentation of American Jewish life in the '60s is both entertaining and again presents a lesson about the complexity of extra-marital sex. Finally, the sex scenes are both erotic and explicit. The film captures very beautiful and erotic love-making scenes at a waterfall. For those seeking an enjoyable, entertaining and positively erotic film, this one is highly recommended

Something About Sex (1998)- R

2008-06-25T14:28:00.002-04:00

Something About Sex reveals private aspects of the lives of three married couples. The film seems to suggest that, like the six protagonists, each of us has his or her own sexual secret, an element of our selves that we fail to share even with those to whom were are the closest.

The three couples meet for a dinner party that also includes an obnoxious author played by Jason Alexander from Seinfeld fame. The writer publishes stories revealing the affairs that men hide from their wives. Jason’s character boasts that all men are animals and simply cannot resist multiple sexual partners. This statement is strongly denounced by all six, yet as we soon see, it is accurate not only for the men but also for the women.

Research shows that only 25% of men and 15% of women, sometime in their marriage, experience extra-marital sex. The frequency of infidelity in the real world is not nearly as high as the 100% figure, but dry statistics are not what this film is about. Rather it observes the ambiguity of "the facts" of infidelity, and takes care to point out that sexual secrets are not limited to actual affairs and that while some affairs are "only" physical, while others are founded on emotional commitment- well, love actually. The movie accurately portray six versions of how people deal or do not deal with sexual secrets in their marriage. The dual themes of hypocrisy and secrecy were well done. Nothing was totally true and totally false; none of the characters were perfect.

Body Heat (1981)- R

2008-06-07T17:36:00.001-04:00

I am probably the last person in North America that had not seen this erotic-thriller classic. For the other few people who have not seen this movie, it is about a women, played by Kathleen Turner, in an unhappy marriage who is reluctantly seduced by a handsome fast-talking lawyer, played by William Hurt. Well, we think she is reluctantly seduced, but we soon find out that the tables are being turned on who is seducing who and for what reason.

This film is a classic for two reasons. It first has a screenplay that keeps both the character played by William Hurt and the audience continuing to second guess motives and truth. He cannot determine truth but can only be intoxicated by passion which leads to greater and greater danger. The second reason is that the “heat” in Body Heat is really “hot.” This is a film where the passionate heat drips off the screen. The erotic scenes are actually mild in their explicit full body views, but very erotic in close up views, particularly of the actors’ expressions. This is a movie full of powerful sex, and scenes that both women and men will enjoy remembering when they need an erotic boost.

Lady Chatterley (2006)- NR

2008-05-11T16:50:00.001-04:00

Film, like much of our popular culture, is obsessed by the topic of infidelity. Our feelings about affairs are so strong yet so paradoxical. Opinion polls say that 70% - 80% of people believe strongly that extra-marital sex is harmful. However, the subject remains one of the most popular and erotic in both contemporary and classic films and literature. Seven out of the last 28 Best Picture Academy Award winners featured infidelity as a major theme.
With a subject so popular one would think it is highly researched. In fact, the opposite is the truth. As documents by Adrian Blow’s excellent review of all published studies on infidelity since 1980 (Infidelity In Committed Relationships: A Methodological Review., Blow, Hartnett,. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy April 2005, Vol. 31, No. 2, 183–216, and Journal of Marital and Family Therapy April 2005, Vol. 31, No. 2, 217–233) the subject is poorly researched both by number of studies and quality of their design. Researchers cannot agree on the definition of infidelity (intercourse vs. romantic vs. cyber internet relationships, etc., etc.) and neither can the general public or Bill Clinton. Even when researchers agree to define it as genital intercourse, the few studies that document incidence varies from 50% of the population to 6%! However, most studies agree that it is closer to 25% of married men and 15% of married women that have had extra-marital sex sometime in their life. Many of these people have had only one event for when these same groups are asked if they have had extra-marital sex in the last 12 month the percent drops to under 2%. Finally, research cannot agree on how it affects a committed relationship. Though most studies document its painful impact, it is unclear if an affair is the cause of a poor relationship or is a product of a bad marriage. There are two studies that even document improved relationships as a result of affairs. Though research is unclear Hollywood is not. Infidelity in films is depicted as common, extremely erotic and dangerously destructive. This is why Lady Chatterley is such different and noteworthy film.

Lady Chatterley is a provocative and beautifully filmed story about the re-birth of a woman due in-part, to an affair. The film is based on D.H. Lawrence’s writing. Lawrence in fact, wrote 3 versions of this erotic story. Lady Chatterley is based on an earlier version and one where the erotic story develops slowly and where the characters are “softer.” This French film with English sub-titles is a story of a wealthy women Lady Chatterley played by Marina Hands. Her husband returns from WWI crippled both physically and spiritually. To escape her lifeless marriage she forms a friendship with the gardener, who has a cottage on their estate. The friendship turns both sexual and romantic. However, the real storyline in this movie is both more complex and more liberating.

Lady Chatterley is a captive in a prison of depression. Despite her wealth, she is enslaved in a house full of despair and hopelessness. Her Victorian society of the turn of the century keeps both her spirit and body wrapped in many layers. Lady Chatterley is a story about how a woman literally and figuratively removes these layers. Her freedom first comes from getting out of the house, walking in nature and enjoying the garden. The film has beautiful nature scenes. We walk with her through the woods and the camera spends as much time on a butterfly and the wild flowers as on the actors. Her freedom next comes with experiencing sex with a stranger. The sex scenes move from Lady Chatterley being a passive observer, to her first exploration of a man’s penis, to the discovery of her own passion and finally to teaching her lover the joys of running nude in the rain. Her final step to freedom is in the surprise ending where her new found freedom lifts the spirits of her husband and where she encourages her lover to enjoy the passion of his own wife!
The film provides an excellent road map for ending depression. A therapist certainly would not prescribe an affair, however a prescription would include getting out of your head and into your body and nature. It would include taking risks and changing your environment. I rented this film hoping that it would include the tasteful soft-core French eroticism similar to the movie “Emmanuelle” (1974-NR). Instead, this is a bold and complex film of sensuality, nature, sexuality and passion. This is also a film that cast a very different light on infidelity. It is very different than the painful outcomes of “Unfaithful (2002-R)”, “Indecent Proposal” (1993- R). and “Body Heat” (1981-R). The outcomes from Lady Chatterley are ones of hope, renewal, healing and movement towards honesty. The movie captures some of the complexities of affairs that the research lacks. One word of caution, stay with the film through its very slow moving first 20 minutes. You will be rewarded

Films Recommended for Viewing and Reviewed on this Site

2008-03-30T14:38:00.004-04:00

Films Recommended and Reviewed
YPF (2007)- UR
Bliss (1997)- R
Private Lesions (1981)- R
En La Cama (2005)- NR
Unfaithful (2002)- R
A Walk on the Moon (1999)- R
Something About Sex (1998)- R
Body Heat (1981)- R
Lady Chatterley (2006)- NR
Beter Than Sex (2002)- R
Secret Things (2002)- NR
Sex and Lucia (2002)- R
Seventh Sense (1999)- NR
The Wedding Banquet (1993)- R
Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love (1997)- R
Nude Alaskan Cruise and the movie "Swinging: From Fantasy to Reality" (2004)- Educational
All The Ladies Do It (1992)- NR
Confusions of An Unmarried Couple (2006) –UR
Shortbus (2006)- UR
Kinsey (2004)- R
Loving Sex- Ultimate Massage (1998) - Educational
Frivolous Lola (1998)- NR
Lie With Me (2005)- NR
The Woodsman (2004)- R
Red Shoe Diary: The Movie: Special Edition (1992)- R
Sirens (1994)- R
Brown Bunny (2004) UR and The Door in the Floor (2004) R
Delta of Venus (1995)- NC17
Lady Chatterley's Lover (1981)- R
Brokeback Moutain (2005)- R
Friends & Lovers, Sex and Interviews with Real Couples (2005)- X
Anatomy of Hell (2004) - UR
Watching You (2003)-NR
Before Sunrise -R (1995) and Before Sunset -R (2004)
Tipping The Velvet (2002)- NR
One Night Stand (1997)- R
Romance- Director’s Cut (1999)- NR
Y Tu Mama Tambien (2001) – UR “And Your Mama Too”
Therese and Isabelle (1968)- UR
Eyes Wide Shut (1999)- R
The Lifestyle: Swinging in America (2000)- Documentary
Better than Chocolate (1999)- R
The Joys of Erotic Massage (Educational)
Emmanuelle (1974)-NR
9 Songs (2004)-NR
Secretary (2002)-R
Head in the Clouds (2004)-R
Xana & Dax: When Opposites Attract (2005)-X
The Mother (2003) -R
The Holy Land (2003)-R
My Best Friend's Wife (2001)-R
Malena (2000)-R
Pretty Baby (1978)-R
9 1/2 weeks (1986) - NR
The Piano (1993)-R
I, A Woman (1966)- UR
Sound of the Sea- (2001)-R
Bride of the Wind (2001)-R

Films Not Recommended for Viewing
Poison Ivy: The New Seduction (1997)- UR
Basic Instinct 2 (2006)- UR
Thief of Hearts (1984)- R
My Summer of Love (2005)- R
Paris, France (1994)- NC-17
Emmanuelle in Paradise
Emmanuella in Rio
Love's Passion -X
Poison Ivy (1992)- R
Two Moon Junction (1988)- R
Irreversible (2002)- UR

Films Recommended but not Reviewed
Unfaithful (2002 - R) See review "All the Ladies Do it"

Indecent Proposal (1993- R) See review "All the Ladies Do It"

Score (Radley Metzger Collection) (1972) - NR A dated but funny erotic story about a swinging couple's successful attept to seduce another couple. The film has some surprizing funny moments.

Splendor (1999) - R This is an interesting story of a young woman living with and loving (sexually and otherwise) two men.

Cheeky! (2000)- NR An erotic, entertaining and artistic “soft porn” film by Italian director Tinto Brass. It is a re-make and not as good as his 1992 film, “All the Ladies do it.”

OR (My Treasure) 2005- NRA touching and disturbing Israeli film showing a young girl following of her mother into prostitution. Dana Ivgy is amazing in her first film playing the 16 year old girl.

Bitter Moon (1992) – R. An erotic but often disturbing Roman Polanski film about a dysfunctional couple on a stormy cruise. The film contains a scene where Emmanuelle Seigner massages milk on her breasts for the pleasure and then consumption of Peter Coyote.

Monster's Ball (2001)- R. Halle Berry received best actress for her role as lover to the policeman who imprisoned her husband. The film has very erotic scenes of inter-racial lovemaking between Halle Berry and Billy Bob Thornton.

Gia (1998)- UR. The film has very explicit sex scenes with Angelina Jolie and Elizabeth Mitchell.

Striptease (1996)- NR A surprisingly funny and entertaining film with plenty of nude erotic dancing by Demi Moore. Be sure you see the European “NR” version and not the American PG-13 version.

Crash (1996)- NC17
Brief Crossing (2001)- NR
The Dreamers (2004)- NC17
Havoc (2005)- UR
Birth (2004)- R
If These Walls Could Talk 2 (2000)- R
Belle de Jour (1967)- R
The Governess (1998)- R
Young Lady Catterly (1977)-NC17
Intimacy (2001)- NR
Zandalee (1991)- R
Wild Orchid (1990)- R

Better Than Sex (2002)- R

2008-03-08T10:10:00.001-05:00

Better than Sex is a warm and humorous film about anonymous sex that leads to falling in love. It is one of those films where the main characters (Josh played by David Winham and Cin played by Susie Porter) talk to the audience about what they are thinking and feeling, which as you can guess, is frequently different than what they are saying. Josh and Cin plan only to have a one night sexual event. The one night stretches into three days and then more. The sex is good and only gets better. The film is a fine romantic story that has some good, though non-explicit, sex scene. The film’s name is a little misleading because what gets better in the film is, in fact, the sex. This is a good film for couples feeling bored. It contains many ideas about how to spice up you sex life.

Secret Things (2002)- NR

2008-03-08T10:09:00.000-05:00

Secret Things is an erotic story of two women sharing an apartment in Paris and conspiring to extract revenge from the demanding men in their office. The film wanders far from this storyline with many long “French film type long dialogues.” Nonetheless, it still has many nude and sexual scenes including some very erotic three-some segments. Sabrina Seyvecou is excellent and erotic in the role of one of the roommates. She discovers her own sexuality in the course of extracting revenge from men. Her sexuality includes the enjoyment of both men and women.

Sex and Lucia (2002)- R

2008-03-08T10:04:00.000-05:00

Paz Vaga plays a girlfriend of a suicidal writer-artist working on a Mediterranean vacation island. The film is very erotic but a depressing story of an artist who can no longer separate reality from his novels. The film is very explicit and has imaginative sex scenes, particularly when filmed from creative angles. Paz Vaga is beautiful and turns in a good performance. However, the storyline is frequently lost among the real and fantasy characters, and the movement back and forth in time. The many beautifully filmed underwater nude and sex scenes save what otherwise would be a very slow moving film.

Seventh Sense (1999)- NR

2008-01-26T10:48:00.000-05:00

When I see a woman playing the cello, this is what I think of..
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I tend to flash on erotic imagery whenever I see a woman play an instrument, so it shouldn't surprise you to learn that a film about the sexual growth of a female cellist would catch my attention. Well, think about how the relationship of a musician to her (or his) instrument is like that of a lover and her beloved. The instrument is caressed – fondled even – by the musician. Gentle touching teases out mellow sounds, while more forceful measures produce a good deal louder sounds. (The parallels don't end there; we use the same word – playing – for making music with an instrument or making love with a partner.)

I find the image of a woman playing a cello to be particularly erotic. The instrument is large and she must spread her legs to hold it… I will stop, ...I'm sure you get the picture.

The movie Seventh Sense is a very erotic film about a women cellist. Frances, played by Lucy Jenner, learned to play the cello when she was a young girl. A car accident left her blind when she was teenager. However, her blindness opens up a whole new level of sounds and appreciation of her instrument.

It also opened up a whole new world of sexual fantasy. The intensity with which Frances plays the cello is echoed by more intense sexual fantasies that she experiences. Frances is encouraged by two individuals to open up her life to greater intensity in her music and thus her sexuality. The first is her roommate, played by LorDawn Messuri, and the other her music mentor, played by Endre Hules. As fate would have it, both liaisons lead to unintended sexual repercussions.

The film contains many highly erotic and explicit scenes. One early scene involves Frances masturbating to the sounds of her roommate making love. Another erotic scene is a fantasy Frances has of playing her cello nude while watching her roommate’s boyfriend make love to a strange woman. Woven throughout the film are the themes of voyeurism and exhibitionism. The erotic scenes are photographed in a highly stylized method of slightly unfocused “candlelight.” This sounds annoying but in fact adds greatly to very erotic scenes.

The Seventh Sense has an interesting but not strong storyline and poor acting from all except Lucy Jenner. Still, I recommend the film for its high-quality explicit sex scenes and very erotic concepts of classical music, women cellist, watching and being watched. The film also has a wonderful sound track of classical music. I should also create a new rating, called “Emily’s approval.” Even with two glasses of wine this story was sufficiently interesting to keep Emily awake. Afterwards, it was erotic enough for her to “use me as an instrument” for nearly an hour in the hot tub. What more could I ask?

The film was available from Netflix however I see that they have now posted it as unavailable. Maybe we have their only copy. Amazon.com also has copies.

The Wedding Banquet (1993)- R

2007-12-03T06:47:00.000-05:00

Marx claims that history repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce. In the case of director Ang Lee, the reverse is true. A dozen years before Lee brought to the screen Annie Proulx’s heart-wrenching short story of ill-fated love (Brokeback Mountain), he directed The Wedding Banquet. In this comedy, Lee foreshadowed Brokeback Mountain's theme of the relationships of bi-sexual couples to the larger and often hostile society.

The Wedding Banquet is a romantic comedy about a semi-closeted gay Chinese immigrant stockbroker (Wei Tong, played by Winston Chao) and the lengths he goes to in order to conceal his sexual identity from his parents, who have paid him an unexpected visit from Taiwan. How far will Wei Tong go? Far enough to marry Wei Wei, played by May Chin. Wei Wei, a tenant in Wei Tong building, agrees to the marriage in exchange for her delinquent rent. And Wei Tong’s dilemma only gets more pressing when his parents insist on a elaborate traditional Chinese wedding banquet. Simon, Wei Tong boyfriend played by Mitchell Lichtenstein, is in every sense of the word, the best man, and he dutifully helps the odd couple navigate the rituals of the wedding banquet.

The wedding banquet is a very funny film that is filled with painful moments. It’s a story about sexual roles and their cultural context. And none of the five major characters is initially prepared to confront the contradictions and confusions that result from the cultural conflicts between Chinese and American, gay, straight and bi-sexual, and monogamy and polygamy. For them and for us, Lee suggests, the journey ends with new understandings of cultural and sex. For the viewer, hard lessons should always be so pleasurably learned. This is a fun film with many unexpected turns.

Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love (1997)- R

2007-10-04T09:29:00.000-04:00

There are so many reasons to see this film despite its flaws. The main flaw is that the actors seem to “over-act,” or exaggerate their acting. To the viewers in the West the acting may even seems comical. However, this style is characteristic of the extremely popular Bollywood films of India and in fact is one of the reasons to see this film. Bollywood films are Indian produced soap-opera style dramas that, up to just a few years ago, followed strict Hindu codes of sexual censorship. Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love is a breakthrough film in that it uses Bollywood stars, is filmed in India, is directed by the Academy Award winner Mira Nair and is explicitly erotic.

It is correct to say that Mira Nair is a world famous film producer. Her most acclaimed work was Salaam Bombay (1988) that won Best Foreign Film at the Academy Awards and top honors at the Cannes Film Festival. However, my favorite Mira Nair film is Monsoon Wedding (2001). Mira Nair’s films capture the amazing revolution in India today. She captures the tide change of a nation moving from poverty to an economic power. Her films are so realistic and vivid that you can almost smell the curry.

Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love presents a story of a women sent by her father to marry someone she does not love. She runs away and joins a school to study the art of love according to the ancient Kama Sutra writings. The setting of the story is 16th century India. Mira Nair elevates the training of these women from lowly prostitutes to philosopher-love goddesses.

Here are some reasons to see this film. In the brothel scenes, Mira Nair hired all the extras from the impoverished sex worker slums of Bombay. The film was in the Indian courts for 15 months before an edited version was allowed to be shown in India. The film features the most famous Indian Bollywood actress Rekha, who plays the Kama Sutra instructor. During the filming, crowds of over 10,000 people would follow the production company solely to get a glimpse of Rekha. The colors and fabrics of the costumes are amazing. Despite the very erotic nature of the film, Mira Nair hired her mother to play one of the elder woman’s roles.

And then there are the sex scenes. The scenes are explicit, very erotic and beautifully filmed. The key instruction to the young women students is that the art of love is greater than the act of love. The film attempts to link the erotic and spiritual and probably attempts to do too much.

Despite its flaws Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love is a good film. However, appreciating the contributions of Mira Nair makes this film more enjoyable. The film is available from Netflix.

Nude Alaskan Cruise and the Movie “Swinging: From Fantasy to Reality” (2004) –Educational

2007-08-16T18:13:00.000-04:00

We have become close friends to a couple we met on a nude Caribbean cruise. They are new to both the lifestyles of nude recreation and sexual play (swinging) with other couples. Here is their travelogue of a recent nude Alaskan cruise (booked through Castaways travel http://www.travelnude.com/ )

“Cruising nude along the southeast Alaskan coast is a unique and almost a life changing experience. The Amsterdam (our boat) allowed passengers access to the furthestpart of the bow while sailing. That meant you could be nude and feel like you were almost touching the rain forest wilderness and snow-capped coastal mountains as they glide past. Your sense of oneness with untamed, primeval nature was heighten beyond anything you might experience. That sense of oneness with nature goes into overdrive when the ship takes you by towering walls of blue and black ice found throughout the 65-mile-long Glacier Bay. Of course it was chilly, but the excitement, passion and eroticism of seeing such astounding silent beauty makes you and your partner ignore the cold. The mountains, ocean, deep forests and huge glaciers were jaw-dropping. During a wildlife water excursion we saw more whales than we could count, eagles soaring over our heads, two huge bears right by the shore, sea lions and sea otters.

Now, let me talk about the sex. The hot action on the Amsterdam was in the lounge in late evening. One night the action was very erotic with three extremely attractive young and completely nude women dancing around and helping undress any guy on the dance floor. Watching these women dance was worth the price of admission. My wife wore some outrageously sexy outfits which generated numerous requests for dances. One guy spoke to me saying his wife was not interested in playing, but would my wife and I consider a threesome? I politely said no.

One couple told us they only played with each other and like to watch and be watched. My suspicion is that the woman was not interested. Again the guy was interested in my wife. She is finding out that guys really want to play with her. It helped that she wore a different, but always outrageously sexy outfit, each and every night. This was greatly exciting to me. Thoughts/conclusions --- The bottom line is we did nothing with any other couple. But because of the attention she received, my wife was much more than aroused and we had some great sex together.”

This brings us to the movie review. “Swinging: From Fantasy to Reality” is a highly erotic educational film produced by the Alexander Institute http://www.lovingsex.com/index.php. (In the area of full discloser, The Alexander Institute is an affiliate to both this web site and our http://couples-for-massage.com
Web site and has offered their products to our readers at a substantial discount. See details on side link). The DVD follows a couple as they enjoy pushing the boundaries of their sexual lives. The couple is in marriage counseling where they talk with their therapists about the pleasure and sometimes discomfort of their adventures. This venue provides an interesting alternative to other “educational” DVD that fail to present a negative side to experimentation. Despite the title, only part of the DVD is devoted to the couples’ swinging fantasy. The erotic scenes are explicit and well photographed. We follow the couple as they make love in rooms other than their bedroom, experiment with outdoor sex with erotic scenes of them purposely make love knowing that a man is watching from the bushes. Yes, and finally the couple connects with another couple in an attempt to fulfill a swinging fantasy. Here the two couples make love to their own marriage partners together in the same room. In the final scenes the couple declines the offer of making love with the other couple. The sex scenes in this DVD and their very unusual settings are highly erotic.

The DVD is very good, and like our friends from the Alaskan Nude Cruise, teach us that the journey of pushing sexual boundaries pays benefits by spicing up our primary relationship. However, I think it also teaches that it is wise to enjoy the pleasure from the journey rather than locking on a certain fantasy such as swinging. Swinging like any fantasy can sometimes become more uncomfortable than fun when played out and as we have learned; many times it simple does not happen.

All the Ladies Do It (1992)- NR

2007-07-19T14:29:00.000-04:00

Margo Wilson wanted to know why husbands in the United States kill their wives and why wives kill their husbands. She studied killing in three major US cites (Wilson, M. I. & Daly, M. Who kills whom in spouse killings? On the exceptional sex ratio of spousal homicides in the United States. Criminology. 30:189-215). Her findings were very interesting. Margo Wilson concluded that the primary reason for wife killings was (perceived or real) infidelity. Interestingly, there were few documented husbands killed by wives for infidelity, though as we know, husbands are more likely to have extra-marital sex. The main reason wives kill husbands was for physical or emotional abuse. Men it seems are hardwired to go ballistic with rage or free fall into depression when faced with their wives sharing their bodies with someone else. Paradoxically, women are hardwired to share their bodies. A young mother for instance, will have sexual intercourse with her husband at 7am, breast feed her infant at 8am, have her toddler on her hip at 8:30 and still shave her legs for the examination of her male and female office co-workers. Women understand that in public their breasts, hips and legs are "shared" as much as their face. Men know it too but frequently go crazy when it involves their wife.

Two very popular films that illustrate this point are Unfaithful (2002- R) and Indecent Proposal (1993- R). Both films are about husbands' response to a wife's infidelity. In Unfaithful the response was homicide and in Indecent Proposal the response was deep depression. In both films the husbands are tortured by wanting to know the explicit details of their wives' extra-marital sex, despite the extreme pain that such details produced.

When our oldest daughter was four, she loved the story of Dumbo. She wanted to have the story read to her every night. The moral of this classic Disney animation is "the very thing that holds you down (in Dumbo's case it was his ears) is the thing that lets you fly." The secret missed by Margo Wilson's research and the movies Unfaithful and Indecent Proposal is that wives having sex with other men is one of the strongest erotic fantasy of men. Somewhere deep inside the hardwiring of men's brains there is this place that goes ballistic when their wives are sexual with others. A micro-inch away from this spot is another spot of highly aroused pleasure from the same event. This second spot is the subject of the Italian film All the Ladies Do It.

All the Ladies Do It is a sometimes funny and very stylish film by the Italian erotic film director Tinto Bass. The story follows Diana (played by Claudia Koll), a very attractive middle age wife who deeply loves her husband but also deeply loves being caressed and fondled and loved by other men. Diana, as with all of Tinto Bass's leading women characters, has beautifully broad Italian hips and proudly unshaven genitals, both of which are displayed throughout the film. Diana's husband is very aroused by the fantasy of her having sex with other men. He frequently encourages her to "make-up" explicit details of these fantasies during their lovemaking. The catch is that the detailed stories are real and not fantasies. When Diana's husband finds out the truth, his hardwiring jumps the circuit to the ballistic side.

The movies Unfaithful and Indecent Proposal, though teasing their viewers with erotic scenes of illicit sex, end with a moral message of marital destruction. All the Ladies Do It ends with the married couple embracing and celebrating this pleasure side of the male brain. All the Ladies Do It is a very explicit and erotic film. I enjoyed it greatly. I strongly recommend it, particularly if you enjoy the non-ballistic side of the male brain.

Indie Films: Shortbus (2006) –UR and Confusions of An Unmarried Couple (2006) –UR

2007-06-21T09:09:00.000-04:00

The new technologies allow all of us to be experts, ...well sort of. We can write our own film review blogs and even make our own films. Much of the blogging (perhaps mine included) and independent film making is self-indulgent. Occasionally, there are real innovations and original thoughts.

Shortbus is an example of an innovative independent film that is about the same people who make independent films and write blogs. The film is a visual journey of the erotic self-discovery of New York City twenty-something year olds. The sex is graphic but not erotic. It is more a story of people discovering their bodies than discovering and loving someone else's body. I don't know if this self-absorption is an indictment of a generation, a stage of development or something unique about physical lovemaking. However, the dialogue and characters in Shortbus are fresh, interesting and provocative. This is the reason I am recommending this film. Nonetheless, when the actors take off their clothes and begin to touch each other you can almost see them say, "oh my god, what are we doing!"

And now to an even more independent film where the characters do not take off their clothes. "Confusions of An Unmarried Couple" is produced by the Butler Brothers (http://www.subprod.com/). The film is all dialogue and shows the potential quality of independent films from a no budget or low budget platform. The film is about a young couple in a troubled relationship. The couple attempts to reconcile through talking about what went wrong in the first place. The seemingly unscripted dialogue takes on a "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf" quality of subject change and loose associations. The words of the dialogue are "let's take off our cloths and make love" but the real communication is "I'm too involved with my stuff to have time for you." Both movies are interesting examples of Indie films about sex. Both films teach to judge erotic and sensual intent by more than spoken words.

Confusions of an Unmarried Couple DVD is now available from our website. http://www.subprod.com/store.php

Hi Paul,

Last evening B and I screened Shortbus. The orgy scenes were about as erotic as we've ever seen. We both remarked that we had been there "in the small" at the Farm and the River. And that five years ago such amovie would have "flipped us out". How things change. This morning we veiwed the extras, namely commentary about the making of the film and deleted scenes, and found them to be even more stimulating and suggestive. It brings to mind the idea that I mentioned some time ago about making an erotic (not porn) movie about people in our age group. It might be very refreshing for young people to know that they have decades of erotic pleasure in front of them.
Warm regards to you and Emily, J and B

Kinsey (2004)- R

2007-05-14T07:37:00.000-04:00

Dr. Alfred Kinsey tells a New York Times reporter in the film "Kinsey" that we know less about the topic of human sexual pleasure than about the molting habits of the South American butterfly. Today, some 50 years later, much more is known about the physiology of human sexuality. However, I believe we have achieved only a slightly better understanding of erotic pleasure particularly within our most important lifelong relationships.

I am a trained marriage and family therapist and have been licensed in three states. In none of my training or continuing education for my licenses was I required to take a course in human sexuality, much less training in human erotic pleasure. My physician wife in 30 years of practicing medicine has not been required to take even one hour of continuing education in human sexuality to fulfill her board requirements in family medicine. Our daughter is in her second year of medical school and just last semester received her first training in sexuality. The lecture series was a sexual terminology course and was added because a medical student did not know what a patient meant when she reported her boyfriend liked to "eat her." It is because of these facts that the film Kinsey should be seen by all health professionals and all those interested in human sexuality.

Alfred Kinsey and his wife Clara McMillen were champions for research and education not just about human sexuality but human sexual pleasure. "Kinsey" is an important film because it documents our past (and current) taboo of gathering even the most basic information about sex and erotic pleasure. As health professionals we can categorize the 15 color shades of urine but squirm when asking a patient if they enjoy sex. Alfred Kinsey shined a spotlight on this hypocrisy in the late 1940's, a hypocrisy that is almost as true today.

I was first introduced to Dr. Alfred Kinsey at 16 when I was a junior in high school. I was hired as a hospital orderly at Rush-Presbyterian St. Luke's hospital and Medical School in Chicago to work the 5pm to midnight shift. My duties were to move patients from one floor to another and to move expired patients to the morgue. I had access to the medical school library and had much time on my hands. This free time was spent reading about sex in the medical school library and specifically reading Kinsey's and his "Sexual Behavior in the Human Male" and "Sexual Behavior in the Human Female." The literally hundreds of graphs and charts in these two volumes document Kinsey's chief finding. Sex and eroticism in humans is very pleasurable but also varies greatly from individual to individual. Before you say "daa," it is the fact of variety from individual to individual that our society has yet to accept.

Kinsey the movie is about Alfred Kinsey (played by Liam Neeson) and Clara McMillen (played by Laura Linney). It is about Kinsey the couple. The movie tracks their early bond in research biology through their interest in human sexuality, then sexual exploration with other partners and finally the bond of their love for each other. We are inspired by their passion to find "facts and accuracy" about human sexuality and eroticism. Laura Linney is superb in her Oscar nominating performance. Her performance captures the true multi-dimensional aspect of her character. Kinsey is an excellent and inspiring film about sex and one that I strongly recommend.

Loving Sex- Ultimate Massage (1998) - Educational

2007-05-06T12:35:00.000-04:00

This excellent video is produced by the Alexander Institute and is part of the Loving Sex Series. It is a very erotic "how to" video about sexual massage. The video has a creative format of two videos in one. One part is instruction in erotic massage techniques. The second part is watching a "real couple" watching the instruction and then practicing the educational techniques. This becomes a very erotic format and also provides some excellent instruction. The DVD is highly stylized and beautifully filmed. The only negative is an introduction from Bernie Zilbergeld of the Alexander Institute that comes off "academic" and therefore detracts from the erotic mood.

Different than other similar videos, this DVD does not attempt to provide a full introduction to massage. The video rather focuses only on erotic techniques and genital massage. The viewer is treated to watching the "watching couple" in playful practice of the erotic massage techniques. These sequences are both humorous and very erotic. The practicing couple is rewarded with very real orgasms.

This video can be purchased at many web sites and directly from the Alexander Institute. http://www.lovingsex.com/index.php The video can also be purchased through one of my favorite web sites http://www.holisticwisdom.com/index.htm . Holistic wisdom, in addition to offering a full line of sex products and videos, provides an excellent resource for information about sex. This is one of two erotic massage videos that I highly recommend. The other video, previously reviewed, is "The Joy of Erotic Massage" produced by the Sinclair Institute http://pages.interlog.com/~bigcat/sinclair/ and can also be purchased at the Holistic wisdom web site.

Frivolous Lola (1998)- NR

2007-04-21T19:33:00.000-04:00

Emily and I just returned from our first nude cruise sponsored through Castaway Travel. (http://www.travelnude.com/ ). It was really quite wonderful. In fact we have now signed up for another nude cruise on the Danube River in Europe. This Caribbean cruise lasted 10 days and visited the islands of Bonaire, Dominica, St. Thomas and The Bahamas. The 1500 passengers were allowed to be nude throughout the ship with the exception of the formal dining room and when the ship was in port. The experiences "exposed" us to both the variety of human form and to a new sexual fetish.

Aquaphilia, we learned is the enjoyment of sex underwater. No, I'm not kidding. Look it up in Wikipedia. Our newly found nude cruise friends Susan and Matthew were more than delighted to share their personal experiences of sexual joys from "doing it" underwater. Susan and Matthew also shared with us their library of DVD and still photos documenting other couples who also were Aquaphiliaics. Clearly, we have led a sheltered life which brings me to this current movie review.

Frivolous Lola is a movie about another fetish. This movie is dedicated to the pleasure of the woman's derriere. Frivolous Lola is one of 7 films by the Italian director Tinto Brass, nearly all of which focus on the woman's ass. As with our nude cruise, Brass treats the viewer to all sizes, shapes and views of women's rear-ends. However, unquestionably his favorite presentation is from behind with the women bent over. The plot, if you are interested, centers on two young lover's conflict about pre-marital sex. Lola, played by Anna Ammirati, wants to get started, whereas her boyfriend wants to wait.

Frivolous Lola has all the trappings of a bad movie. Surprisingly, it is a funny and sometimes erotic comedy. Anna Ammirati does very well in playing the movie led and even with the poor English dubbing of Italian, we appreciate her dry wit. Did I mention we frequently get to see her ass and the ass of nearly every other woman is Italy? Finally, for our new Aquaphilia nude cruise friends Susan and Matthew, there is a brief underwater sex scene that is really quite well done.

Lie With Me (2005)- NR

2007-03-23T08:25:00.000-04:00

Lie With Me is a raw, bold and controversial film. Emily and I found the sex arousing and the characters complex. Netflix's http://www.netflix.com/ 40,000 viewers rated the film 3 out of 5 stars on average, however only 30% of journalism reviews http://www.rottentomatoes.com/ recommended the film. Nonetheless, we highly recommend it.

In this film, we are treated to the inner private thought of Leila, played by Lauren Lee Smith. Her thoughts are about sex- how to get it, how to get it often, and how to get it on her terms. Leila has found it easy to have sex with many men and nearly every man. However, she becomes despondent after having frequent sex with a man named David, played by Eric Balfour of HBO Six Feet Under fame. This relationship causes the blood to move from her genitals to her heart. She now asks herself the question, "how do you have sex with someone you are in love with?"

Lie With Me is a highly erotic film with explicit sexual scenes. It is also a movie with an intense character study of two people who can make passionate erotic sex but become anguished when faced with the opportunity to make love. We meet Leila and David at a seedy nightclub party. This is a place where the music and the bodies are hot. They are with other partners and the foursome escapes to the alley to elevate their hot dancing to hot sex. Leila and David become more aroused exhibiting themselves for each other then the sex they are having with their partners. We follow Leila and David over the next weeks as they engage each other's bodies. Their passionate sex surprisingly turns to affection. Each is also struggling with death and divorce in their families. Maybe this contributes to them allowing affection to sneak-up amidst all their sex. Regardless, it produces more pain then they could imagine.

The frequent romance film shows a couple falling in love and then awkwardly and fearfully moves from affection to sex. Lie With Me moves the couple from erotic sex to awkward and fearful affection. The sex is hot and very real. In one scene the camera shoots from just above Leila's head as she lies in bed. We essentially watch from her eyes as David undresses her and works his way up her legs with his licks and kisses. We watch real oral sex as he licks and opens her labia with his mouth. The camera them moves up and rotates to her face without cutting from the scene. We watch her face as she moves to an orgasm that we know is coming from real sex.

Apart from the sex, there are two reasons to see this film. First, Lauren Lee Smith boldly reverses gender roles by playing a demanding, controlling and even at times, abusive sexual partner. She skillfully develops a female version of a character that changes from being centered only on her genital pleasures to one open to the possibility of a relationship. Second, this movie does an excellent work of filming the nude male. We see all sides. We see the erect penis and the non-erect penis. We see David lovingly bathing his elderly nude (and yes also with a penis) father, shortly before his death. There are so many films where only nude women are shown. This film showing nude men, is refreshing and reason alone to see this film. Lie With Me would be a very good movie without the explicit sex. With the sex, it is an excellent movie.

The Woodsman (2004)- R

2007-02-18T11:16:00.000-05:00

In 1982 Marvin Gay sang the hit song "Sexual Healing." Some of the lyrics include:

I want Sexual Healing
Sexual Healing, oh baby
Makes me feel so fine
Helps to relieve my mind Sexual Healing baby, is good for me
Sexual Healing is something that's good for me
Whenever blue tear drops are falling
And my emotional stability is leaving me
There is something I can doI can get on the telephone and call you up baby, and
Honey I know you'll be there to relieve me
The love you give to me will free me
If you don't know the things you're dealing ohh
Let me tell you, darling, that it's Sexual Healing

In The Woodsman, Kevin Bacon plays Walter, a convicted child molester that is rescued and maybe "healed" through the sexual caring of a newly found adult friend. This is a provocative and well-made film about sexual pain and sexual rescue.

Walter is released from prison after serving a lengthy term for sexual conduct with an 11-year-old girl. We never learn exactly the nature of the sexual conduct. Walter in one scene tells a companion that the girl looked older. Regardless, we do learn that Walter is a troubled man. He is haunted by this inner demon and lives in fear that his desire for very young girls will lead to re-incarceration or worse. His life is secretive and isolated from family, friends and even his therapist. We follow him as he gets an apartment near a grade school and begins spending most of this time watching 10-year-old girls play. The scenes are creepy.

The woodsman who using his axe cut her out of the wolf's belly,
Saved little Red Ridding Hood from the wolf.

In this film the "woodsman" is Vickie played by Kyra Sedgwick. She is a no-nonsense construction worker. We never know exactly her motivation, but she is drawn to rescue Walter even before she knows his full story. Vickie uses her body rather than an axe. Her purposeful erotic seduction rescues Walter by awakening sexual passion for an adult woman.

Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick, who in real life have been married since 1988, create believable characters. Bacon specifically is able to portray the creepiness and unsettling nature of a man obsessed by young children. The sex scenes between Walter and Vickie contain brief nudity and are erotic. I recommend The Woodsman because it puts a human face on a man our culture considers "a sexual monsters", yet still clearly showing him as a predator. However, even more interesting it raises the possibility of redirecting his sexual energy to adult partners. Vickie's role as the Woodsman was truly an example of "sexual healing" as sung by Marvin Gay.

Red Shoe Diary: The Movie: Special Edition (1992)- R

2007-01-28T14:11:00.000-05:00

This film produced by Zalman King started the HBO series Red Shoe Diaries. This film, though not as explicit and stylish as King's Delta of Venus (1995), still offers a high quality erotic film with a real plot. Though the film launched the HBO series by the same name, there is little similarity between this feature-length film story and the Red Shoe Series. The HBO films usually contain 3 short stories based on erotic encounters with strangers.

This story is of a young attractive woman played by Brigitte Bako who is caught between two lovers and two styles of lovemaking. One lover is a sensitive caregiver seeking marriage. The other lover enjoys rough and controlling sex that borders on sadomasochism. She ultimately is unable to resolve this dilemma and this leads to tragedy.

Though the film contains only brief full nudity, the many sex scenes are erotic and passionate. This is one of three films recently reviewed (the other two are Delta of Venus-1995 and Lady Chatterley's Lover-1981) that is recommended for viewers seeking strong erotic content within a well made film with a real plot.

Sirens (1994)- R

2007-01-28T14:07:00.000-05:00

Most films about sexual awakening or ?sexually coming of age? focus on teenagers or young adults. The story line perhaps is that once a person reaches 25 they have passed through the experimentation phase and now can get-on with serious relationship sex. The wonderful truth is that sexual awakening and sexual re-awakening frequently (thank God) happens later in life.

Sirens is a wonderfully erotic and often funny film about sexual awakening. Tara Fitzgerald plays the wife of an Anglican Priest assigned to removing erotic art from church sponsored exhibits. The couple travels to visit an artist and his group of nude models to persuade them to remove certain nude paintings from exhibits. Along the way, the clergy's wife is "exposed" to not just nudity but the erotic passions of the models and eventually her own. The wife at first is the picture of a proper religious woman. Yet, she is drawn to the nude images on the painter's canvas and then to watching the nude models in erotic play. Her curiosity leads to desire and then passion ending in erotic affairs with both a male model and the female models.

The film is beautifully filmed in the mountains of Australia that provide a stunning natural background for the many nude scenes. The film ends with a breathtaking shot of the 5 women in the film, all nude, on a mountaintop. The film's sexual scenes are very erotic, not from being explicit, but from the content of a religious wife being naughty. We leave the couple as she brings her newly found erotic passion to her marriage and frankly they are thankful that God created sex.

Brown Bunny (2004) UR and The Door in the Floor (2004) R

2006-12-13T11:01:00.000-05:00

Depression & Sex- two reviews. William Styron, author of "Sophie's Choice" died recently after a lifelong struggle with depression. In an interview with Terry Gross he could not take his own life because he could not write the perfect suicide note. This is a painful statement from an artist about depression.

I was depressed about a year ago. We sold our house of 10 years and moved to an apartment. Our daughter was also struggling with a major illness (but has since recovered). The feelings from these events caught me by surprise. I had no appetite for my favorite foods and could not get an erection. Depression and sex do not mix. When depressed, the last thing in the world we want is sex and yet we sometimes seek sex to again feel alive.

Vincent Gallo's film The Brown Bunny provides a stark, graphic film about depression and sex. We follow Bud Clay on a cross-country journey as he tries to get the death of his girlfriend out of his mind. It doesn't work. He is haunted by her death. Her ghost visits Bud and among other things performs oral sex. The scene is graphic. We see everything. She looks up after performing fellatio and asks why things had to turn out the way they did. It is all-imaginary, so in fact Bud has no answer for her question. Vincent Gallo directs this film and also plays Bud Clay. However, it gets even weirder. Chloe Sevigny plays Bud's girlfriend, who in real life is his ex-girl friend. So art reflects reality and then reflects art, or something like that.

Jeff Bridges and Kim Bassinger (from 9 1/2 Weeks fame) star in the film, The Door in the Floor. The film is by Tod Williams and adapted from John Irving novel, "A Widow For A Year". The movie is dark, but totally honest of how a dysfunctional family copes with the death of two sons. A couple living off Cape Cod takes in a summer live-in student as a means to replace the loss of their sons. The father encourages the boy to have sex with his wife. The wife teachers the student how to make love, yet we all understand she is really loving her dead son. The couple reveals vulnerabilities and real human complexity in both subtle and dramatic ways as they use sex with a young stranger to replace the loss of their sons.

These two films are actually very good but you need to be prepared to see depression. Both films capture the moods and surrealism of sadness. Depression in these films is not the usual sad scenes we see in movies that make us cry and then somehow we feel better. Depression here is the absence of feeling. It's being numb. These are not the films to watch if you're anticipating an erotic turn-on. Nonetheless, the films have very explicit and realistic sex scenes that are more sad than erotic. They capture the real pain of the loss of a lover and family member. They also captures how in the middle of feeling such loss a person may think that they will never love again.

Delta of Venus (1995) NC-17

2006-11-26T10:31:00.000-05:00

In Delta of Venus, Elene, played by Audie England, is on a quest to watch and document erotic adventures. There are three very erotic scenes in this excellent film by Zalman King. Elene is asked to pose nude for an art class. Her body is positioned in full contact with a male model. She is asked for hours not to move as the students paint. However, we hear her thoughts and her mind is anything but still. In a second scene, Elene seeks out a prostitute known for her erotic appetite and her "sexual knowledge." The women after some negotiation hides Elene in a closet where she can watch her receive passionate sex under the hypnotic spell of an African King. In a third scene, Elene is invited to a sex party in the house of a wealthy older couple. This couple plays a sex game where the wife wears only a blindfold and a necklace of pearls and has sex with a stranger the husband has picked up on the street. Furthermore, this all happens before a house full of strangers. These three scenes and the many other sexual scenes are very erotic, explicit and beautifully filmed.

You now have guessed correctly that the theme of this film is voyeurism. Zalman King, the producer of The Red Shoe Diaries erotic series, based this film on Anais Kin's novel of the same name. The story is set in Paris in the pre-war years of 1939. The streets are full of political, sexual and artistic passion. Elene is a struggling writer who falls in love with another writer Lawrence, played by Costas Mandyler. Lawrence pushes all the boundaries in a campaign for artistic expression. When he is called to war, he secretly hires Elene to write eroticism. The film is a story about Elene's quest to find content for her writings. Throughout the film, passages of Anais Kin's erotic verse from her novel move us from one scene to another. This film is about enjoying erotic pleasure three times: once during the event, twice by a writer capturing the event for others and third by a reader enjoying the erotic descriptions. A gift that keeps on giving.

This film has well deserved its positive reviews. The photography is rich and the costumes are beautiful. Audie England is subtle and sexy in her excellent portrayal of a woman exploring sexual boundaries. I loved a scene where she licks the fingers of her lover and states, "I so enjoy tasting me." Though filmed in Prague it has the real life feel of pre-war Paris. The music is beautiful. I searched unsuccessfully for a sound track of the film. I settled for a DVD copy as much for the musical score as the eroticism. This is a film I strongly recommend.

Lady Chatterley's Lover (1981) R

2006-10-31T16:31:00.000-05:00

I recently had the opportunity to again see the classic erotic film Lady Chatterley's Lover. The film is one of the three classic erotic films produced by Just Jaeckin. His other two are The Story of O and Emmanuelle. Lady Chatterley's Lover, despite its age, continues to be one of the best-filmed stories with a real plot and real erotic scenes.

The movie is an adaptation from a novel by D.H. Lawrence. The story mixes two classic themes. This first is a devote wife's sexual adjustment to a war injured husband and the permission she receives to satisfy her erotic needs outside the marriage. The second classic theme is her erotic affair turning to love, and love with a man "beneath her class." The wife played by Jaeckin?s favorite actress Sylvia Kristel, is caught between her devotion to her paralyzed husband and her erotic lover. The lover, a husky gamekeeper played by Nicholas Clay is torn between his passion and class rules of proper relationships. D.H. Lawrence mixes both story line taboos in a story woven with explicit erotic content. The story remains controversially today. Just Jaeckin takes the full story and adds excellent costumes for turn-of -the century England and his trademark superior on-location filming.

Many people ask for an erotic story with a real plot. This film delivers in both areas. Though at times the film drags a bit (as did Gone with the Wind), the photography, costumes and set keeps the audience engaged. Then there is the sex. Probably the most famous sex scene is a long segment where the Lover places one flower after another down the body of Lady Chatterley. Each small flower fills the screen. We watch as the flowers move past her breasts and to her genitals. Lady Chatterley is filmed with full frontal nudity though the male Lover is usually film nude from the back. Nonetheless, the filming was ahead of its time both in sensual filming and erotic content.

Girl’s Play (2004) NR

2006-10-07T15:43:00.000-04:00

I love the movie "A Christmas Story' by Bob Clark and watch it nearly every holiday season. This comedy is about a family in the 1940's and a 9-year-old boy that wants a BB gun for Christmas. I particularly enjoy how the main character talks directly to the audience and reveals how he understands the Santa Clause scam, the hidden motives of sales clerks and the failed attempt of his father to seduce his mother through a Christmas gift of lingerie. Girl's Play is a similar film. Girl's Play, a low budget independent film by Lee Friedlander, follows this same comic cinema style. However, instead of a 9 year old at Christmas, the film presents two lesbian girls talking directly to the audience about the pros and cons of an affair with each other.

As described in a Netflix review, "The film is really like a verbal blog, of two women who meet during a Play and fall in love. The relationship issues they faced -- leaving long-time partners, fear of messing up again, how and if to reveal what you really feel -- have been done before, but they manage to pull it off with humor and much heartfelt energy. Based on the true story of stand up comedians and actresses Robin Greenspan and Lacie Harmon, who both play their own characters."

The film has tasteful but graphic erotic scenes of the two women making love. However, the most erotic scene is a publicity photo shoot for their Play at a point where the actresses are just beginning to feel an attraction. The Play's producer asks that the two young women to be photographed in a topless embrace. We hear the women's thoughts of embarrassment about their nudity give way to fascination with the feel of their nipples touching that then gives way to erotic abandonment. The film shoots a close-up of their nipples touching as we hear their thoughts. The scenes comic script is well written and highly erotic.

Brokeback Mountain (2005)- R

2006-07-12T10:53:00.000-04:00

Brokeback Mountain is simple an excellent, beautifully filmed, movie. It is so much more than a painful story of sexual love between two men. It is a story about being bi-sexual. It is a story about secrets within two families. It is a story of sex not just between two men but also between the men and their wives. It is a story about fathers loosing the love of their children. It is a story about sex. At its heart, it is a story about how the love you cannot have, tragically separates you from the love you have.

Two cowboys Jack Twist and Ennis Del Mar (Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger) are hired to heard sheep in the Canadian Rockies. They are provided with few supplies including only one small tent. Though the men have little conversation and slow less emotions, once inside the tent there is an eruption of erotic passion. This summer of erotic passion ties up these two men for the next twenty years. We follow the men through these twenty years. The men marry and have children. They struggle with in-laws and employment. They struggle with parenting. Throughout these twenty years they continue their secret love affair through “fishing trips” back to Brokeback Mountain. The secret is revealed at least to Ennis wife (Michelle Williams) who sees the two men kissing. Though not confronting Ennis until years later after their divorce, the fact of the secret leads to estrangement of the men, their wives, their children and in-laws.

This movie is a first in Sex in Film in a number of ways. First, despite the popular press depicting the film to be about gay cowboys, it is really a film about bi-sexual men. The film shows the men having erotic pleasurable sex with both men and women. This is very different than popular sexual trends that glorify bi-sexual women yet ignore bi-sexual men and become hysterical about gay marriage. We ignore what I believe is the more common male gay experience, namely being bi-sexual. Second, I believe this is the first critically acclaimed film that shows real erotic affection between men. A number of films have shown men kissing. However, Brokeback Mountain shows men with real love, affection and erotic passion for each other. As a heterosexual male, I found the scenes loving and tastefully done. Brokeback Mountain truly deserved the Best Picture nomination and I highly recommend it.

Friends & Lovers, Sex and Interviews with Real Couples (2005) X

2006-06-29T09:45:00.000-04:00

Blowfish Video from San Francisco http://www.blowfish.com/catalog/ has produced this erotic and beautifully filmed explicit video. The film is purchased from their web site for $29.95. The film interviews three couples and then films them making love. All three couples are either married to each other or are in a permanent relationship with each other. Each interview is about 10 minutes and shows that the couples are really in a relationship with each other. In fielding the questions the couples joke with their partner, disagree at times but work towards consensus. What is interesting is not the answers but the process. By the style of their answers, the viewer sees a man and women in a committed and loving relationship. It is then so erotic when we get to see the couple make love. The couples are not having sex they are making love. It is highly erotic. It is also very real. Penises don't always stay erect, women don't always have orgasms, bodies are not perfect models and sometimes positions seem clearly uncomfortable. However, the couples laugh about it, whisper jokes to each other, look into each other's eyes and direct their partner to more pleasurable actions. Their real relationships are what make the film erotic. The photography is also so clear and real that it feels live. I only wished the couples were in their 40's or 50's rather than late 20's.

I found this video to be erotic and enjoyable. Frequently, the quality of erotic videos are poor. One of my favorite web sites is http://www.cleansheets.com/ because of the high quality of erotic writing. The site recently posted an article by a Chris Bridges titled "Help! I'm turning Into an Anti-Porn Activist", that sited the poor quality of erotic videos. http://www.cleansheets.com/coverstories/bridges_05.17.06.shtml Here are Chris's suggestions on how they can be improved.

1. Normal looking people who at least look like they're having fun.
2. No one looking at the camera.
3. No movies that describe the women as sluts, whores, or bitches, or use the words "molest" or "gang" on the cover.
4. No anal, please. Nothing against the act itself, but it's not particularly aesthetically pleasing. Not a big fan of the camera-between-the-legs shots anyway, or the extreme, can't-get-any-closer-or-she'll-swallow-the-camera close-ups. I'd rather see the whole body and the lovers' growing arousal.
5. Woman-woman scenes that looks like they might be enjoying it. You know, with kissing and maybe even some foreplay before they whip out the 20-inch double-headed dildo or try to go up to their elbows.
6. An entire movie without silicone or implants of any kind. Try it, I dare you.
7. Women who don't feel obligated to stick their entire tongue out of their mouths whenever they kiss or lick anything.
8. Look, if you show me a guy pulling out of a woman's ass and moving around to her mouth, which seems to be the trend these days, you've lost me. Forget it, I'll turn the thing off and go watch cartoons. I mean, eww.
Women that aren't made up to look underage or like an 80's hair band groupie
9. Guys that look like someone you might not run away from on a dark night. Or a sunny afternoon.
10. Lighting that makes the actors look soft and sexy instead of plastic and poorly shaved.
11. Sounds that weren't dubbed or forced. I'm sorry, no one moans with ecstasy while they're giving a blowjob.
12. People grateful to get oral sex instead of standing there looking haughty and all conquerors.
13. Movies that don't have the same sex acts, in the same order, every time.
14. And, hardest to find of all...playfulness! I have absolutely no interest in watching people fuck that look too fake, too insensitive, too shallow, or too scary. Don't fun people fuck? In front of a camera, I mean?

A follow-up note from another reader listed these recommendations.
1. A semi-believable plot for at least the first half of the movie.
2. Realistic positions, changed frequently
3. No more cutting and splicing the explicit scenes just to stretch out the movie
4. Women in the movies? Please. Kick off those damned high heels. Yes you have pretty legs and dainty feet and we've all seen them - now be real.
5. Lingerie ladies! Naked gets boring very quickly
6. HUMOR! I saw an X-rated western once that was great. I'd rather watch porn that has some quality humor in it than the best of what passes for porn today.
7. Can't be stressed enough - get real, especially females. Tone down the makeup, let your hair actually move and get messy, walk and move like real people, not wannabe models, and stop acting like semen is a precious Gift From The Gods.
8. How about men and women in their 40?s to 60?s

Anatomy of Hell (2004) UR

2006-06-01T07:14:00.000-04:00

Anatomy of Hell is an explicit, complex and at times shocking film by Catherine Breillat. The film has many themes, but certainly a central topic is the women’s menstrual cycle or more specifically having sex during menstruation. Breillat asks why is this a curse, why do men avoid sex during menstruation and why is women’s blood “unclean” and Jesus’ blood redemptive? As with all her films the plot deals with women and their sexuality. However, the sub-plot in this film is sex and Christianity. I believe only Catherine Breillat could direct and produce this film.

Catherine Breillat is a French film director and producer. She is a woman who admits that all of her films are about sex. Critics say that she is uniquely concerned with a women’s understanding of her own sexuality. She focuses on women and sex with such explicit and graphic detail that she is known as “the auteur of porn.” In all of her films the actors have real sex. Breillat believes that a “visual display of sex is inseparable from the representation of the consciousness of her female characters.” Translation, her actresses have to have real sex to play the roles and the audience has to see real sex to understand her films. And yes Martha, we see real sex and much more.

The sub-plot of this film is society’s, specifically religion’s prejudice against menstruation. That, of course, brings me to Jesus Christ and menstruation. The Pulitzer Prize author Garry Wills in his recent book “What Jesus Meant,” argues that Jesus publicly broke Jewish religious laws to demonstrate that God lives “within our hearts, not through religious rules.” Wills illustrates this point by Jesus’ actions towards menstruating women. Wills traces the gender separation in Islam, Judaism and Christianity to the belief that menstruating women are impure and untouchable in “God’s eyes.” Since religious leaders cannot tell which women are having their period, complex and elaborate rules are created to either segregate woman from sacred locations or to separate menstruating women from men. Wills teaches that Jesus purposely and publicly violated Jewish rules regarding menstruating women. He sites the story of Jesus and the women at the well. Jesus asks for her to give him a drink in spite of her warning him that she was unclean (menstruating). Jewish laws forbid menstruating women to serve food or drink. Wills also noted that Jesus draws attention to the women who touched him in a crowd. The women sought healing from a menstrual flow that would not stop. Despite Jesus’ teaching, it took less than 200 years after his death for the Christian “fathers” to reinstate Jewish type laws segregating women particularly during menstruation. The paradox of Christianity is that the blood of Christ is what redeems mankind and is “drank” at each communion service. This paradox is not lost on Catherine Breillat.

The film’s story centers on a women played by Amira Casar. The woman invites a gay man home and pays him to accompany her for four nights. She undresses and is nude throughout the rest of the film, nearly 90 minutes. The woman at first invites the man to watch her in various erotic poses. The gay man becomes more and more curious to explore every part of her body (and we really mean explore, as in an ob-gyn exam). He is surprised by his erection, which is not left to the imagination. They have sex. She begins to menstruate at the end of day two. Sex is only part of what the couples does during day three and four. Among other things, Amira teaches her suitor and the viewer all the details of replacing her tampon. I will hold back describing all the details, but you clearly get the idea.

Throughout, Catherine Breillat shoots the film from views of Jesus on the bedroom wall. Part of the sex scenes turn into a worship services including communion (I will let you figure out whose blood is drunk). The film at times is erotic but mostly is an explicit curiosity. Nonetheless, I really liked the film. I really like Catherine Breillat’s films however many would find them too shocking. I like her bold, unblinking study of women and sex. As she puts women under a magnifying glass, men become in better focus. Amira gay paid suitor ends up “converting” to heterosexual love. Catherine Breillat and Jesus therefore both teach to touch women when they are “untouchable.”

Watching You (2003)- NR

2006-05-10T18:15:00.000-04:00

I was recently in a hot tub in Maine with 8 other nude men and women. The topic on the table (on the water) was lesbian love. Well to be honest, the topic was broader than lesbian love; it was more like the erotic flexibility of women. The question was how is it that nearly all of us (women and men) enjoy the affection, nurturing and erotic touch of a woman. Conversely, why does it seem easier for many women we know to extend attention, affection and erotic pleasure to both genders? The group did not see a similar trait in most men, including those in the hot tub. I reasoned that the answer may relate to the fact that nearly all of us were pleasured and nurtured by our mothers and that mothers are “flexible” to nurse and touch both sexes. The “hot tub 8” came to no consensus regarding this mystery and moved on to other topics. Maybe some questions raised in a hot tub are not meant to be answered.

Watching You is a collection of short films that in fact picks up on this question and does attempt a meaningful answer. All 9 short subject films have a lesbian theme. The films are from all around the world. They range in length from 5 minutes to 25 minutes. They are all excellent.

In one hilarious film a women interviews potential lovers similar to a job interview. The film has superb editing. One interviewee for instance will stumble with one question (“how do you spell cunnilingus”) only to be rescued by editing of another interviewee. In another very funny film a women attending a party instructs the viewer on “the dos and don’t” of attracting a lover. Stereotype lesbian women attend the party. Our guide periodically freezes the film to point out the strengths and weaknesses of each woman’s approach. The film is an excellent comic parody not only on gay women but women in general. In a third film we watch the surprise of a gay man when he becomes aroused while watching two women make love. In a forth film one partner asks, “what do you miss most about loving a man?” Her partner replies, “the long periods of silence.” One short film is Israeli. It was filmed in Tel Aviv and is about a single mother that secretly photographs an attractive neighbor. The film is a good study of jealousy.

The short films mix humor, explicit eroticism, stories of jealousy and stories of friendships. However, similar to the HBO series Sex in the City, all the films teach us more about women and why we love them than about lesbian love. This is a very enjoyable collection of short stories for both a gay and straight audience. The eroticism is at times explicit and arousing yet it is presented in the context of very interesting stories.

All films reviewed in this blog, unless noted, are available from Netflix.

Before Sunrise -R (1995) and Before Sunset -R (2004)

2006-04-24T14:38:00.000-04:00

We remember our first love affairs. I don’t mean the girl we kissed in second grade playing spin the bottle, or the boy in high school we made out with, or even the college co-ed we lost our virginity too. We of course remember those events too. I mean the first people we really fell in love with. These events hold special memories. Sandra Leiblum and Judith Sachs in their book, “Getting the Sex You Want,” says this person makes us feel attractive, makes us feel loved and understood, appreciates our mind and desires our body. This person listens when we talk and we want their opinions. We tell them nearly everything. The conversation is as intimate as the erotic touch. This is particularly true when we are young and it happens for the first time. We often focus on our first time having sex as a sort of benchmark to adulthood. Perhaps a more important marking is when we first shared our soul.

Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy play Jesse and Celine in a two-part love story about a first love affair. The story (Before Sunrise) begins as two young people meet on a train in Europe and fall in love. The first movie is about their meeting and the 12 hours that they spend together. The second movie (Before Sunset) is 9 years later and follows the couple’s reunion, again for about 12 hours. The two films were produced exactly 9 years apart with the same actors, who have aged in real life 9 years. This fact, though unique, is not the reason to see these two films. The reason to see these movies is to again experience falling in love.

In both films Jesse and Celine talk. They talk a lot. They talk about religion and then talk about their first experience with sex. They talk about food and then talk about deaths in their families. They talk about reincarnation and then talk about what makes them afraid. They talk but also listen. As in the near cult film, “A Dinner with André,” the couple takes each other’s comments seriously. They take each other seriously. Their love grows not from physical passion but from conversation and before sunrise this love grows to erotic passion. Before Sunset follows the couple 9 years later. They again meet in Europe and spent 12 hours together. Events repeat themselves. This time the talk is about their 9 years apart. They talk about politics and their marriages. They talk about the other loves in their lives and how life would have been different if they would of married each other. They fall is love again.

The films reminded me of the intense conversation in my first love affairs. These affairs do not always end in marriage and sometimes do not even include sex. They do include erotic passion. The memories of conversation are what make the affairs important, and it is particularly memorable when we are young. It is the first time we explore another’s souls as we explore another’s body.

These two films are wonderful. They will remind you of the joys and intensity of your first experiences with love. The dialog is what makes these films special. The two stars Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy wrote the screenplay of Before Sunset. It feels unscripted, natural and free flowing. It is also technically brilliant. We walk with Jesse and Celine for 7 minutes of uninterrupted conversation through the streets of Vienna. Before Sunrise and Before Sunset are films that should not be missed.

Tipping The Velvet (2002)- NR

2006-03-26T17:08:00.000-05:00

I have had the erotic privilege of watching two women make love. For many reasons, this is a tremendous turn-on for most men. For many of us men, lesbian love is synonymous with heterosexual pleasure.

There is in fact, a whole other lesbian experience. “Tipping the Velvet” is a look at another experience. The film is a romantic film is the classic definition. It presents a story of a very romantic lesbian relationship. In this film romance means faithfulness, monogamy and emotional commitment in good times and bad times. It expects unswerving devotion, and when that trust is broken the very meaning of life is questioned. Tipping the Velvet is an excellent romantic film that happens to be about two women.

The film is about a young women Nan, played by Rachel Sterling, in England in the 1800’s. She falls in love with a traveling actress who whisks her away from her rural home to London where we follow her through many adventures. The film is divided into three 1-hour segments that were originally presented as a BBC mini-series. The film has a number of beautifully filmed erotic scenes.

There are three reasons to see this film even if you do not like romance. First, the period costumes and set design deserve an academy award. Second, the photography is simply beautiful. One love scene consists entirely of a close-up of the two women’s lips. This is a very erotic kissing scene! Finally, there is a Shakespeare “spoof” in the second hour segment that should not be missed. Nan, a woman, dresses as a young boy and gives homosexual men blowjobs for money. The men think they receive a homosexual experience but actually receive a heterosexual experience, but from a homosexual women. This series alone is reason to see this film.

One Night Stand (1997)- R

2006-03-26T16:52:00.000-05:00

How can sex be exciting? Actually, we probably do not want it always to be exciting. Most times we want sex to be comforting, familiar and even nurturing. However, occasionally we want it to be exciting, new and maybe even a little scary. Having an affair is one way to make sex very exciting but it often also makes sex very dangerous.

Wesley Snipes stars in the 1997 film, One Night Stand. Snipes is on a business trip and is caught in Manhattan without a hotel room. Circumstances lead to his sharing a room with Nastassja Kinski. Both Snipes and Kinski are married, but passion prevails and the couple make love. The night is passionate, exciting but terrible disturbing for Snipes. He returns to his wife and is unable to disclose the event and it gradually erodes their marriage. This event plus the death of a close friend who has AIDS leaves him frustrated and angry.

One hour and ten minutes through the film it appears we are viewing a conventional story about illicit sex. The sex scenes were erotic and we are stimulated by the fantasy of passionate love making with a stranger, for only one night. However, the price we are expecting to pay for this pleasure is a ruined marriage. Here the film takes a very unconventional twist and is why I recommend this movie. Through another series of odd events, Snipes and his wife played by Ming-Na Wen, reconcile and re-energies their relationship through exciting sex. The sex however for each is with another partner, and with the full knowledge and permission of each other.

One Night Stand offers an option for couples to re-energies their sex, and maybe their marriage, without an affair. This option is not without danger and is not for all couples (see my review of the documentary film The Lifestyle: Swinging in America). It is also not the only way to add exciting. However, it is one option. One Night Stand is not a perfect movie, but it is well photographed and well acted. It is a very good film for couples to see together and talk about afterwards.

Romance- Director’s Cut (1999)- NR

2006-03-01T13:49:00.000-05:00

On the Daily Show last month there was a skit that did a parody on the word "paradox." Jon Stewart said "isn't it a paradox that the word paradox must be used so often by seemingly intelligent people?" I looked it up. Paradox is "when opposite truths seem to simultaneously exist." Here?s an example. A woman finds genuine caring, affection, erotic nurturing and affirmation in a sadomasochistic relationship when she is tied-up in painful bondage. Marie, played by Caroline Ducey in "Romance", later remarks that her lover "ties me up without tying me down."

Romance is a remarkable film. It contained arguable one of the most erotic and explicit sex scenes in a non-X rated film, a full 3-minute scene of an actual birth (we get to see everything) and a full 15 minutes segment of an anal compulsive sadomasochistic lover trying again and again to get his knots tied just right. Romance is about a sexually frustrated women in a very dysfunctional relationship. She pleads for her partner to simply remove his undershirt in bed, seeing that this is as close to erotic affection as she will get. She therefore seeks other lovers. She eventually finds love from an older man who loves ropes, handcuffs and bondage.

Let's go back to the "paradox" word. The film is directed by Catherine Breillat, one of a number of women in film that are exploring erotic pleasure from (their words) a female prospective. The paradox (sorry) of the film is that from this highly successful women's prospective, the beautiful young males in this film are sexually dysfunctional. However, the older man with obvious flaws is more attractive. You no longer need to wonder why I like this film!

This is the second movie reviewed on this blog that I strongly recommend it to be seen in the NR "Director's Cut" version. I reviewed "Y Tu Mama Tambien (2001)" with the same recommendation. These films from Blockbuster in R versions are stripped of not only key scenes but also the scenes that truly make the films erotic.

Y Tu Mama Tambien (2001) – UR “And Your Mama Too”

2006-02-15T08:46:00.000-05:00

A common theme of films is a young person “coming of age” through their early sexual experiences. This web site has already reviewed 3 films dealing with this subject. Many of the films are quite erotic. Y Tu Mama Tambien staring Diego Luna, Gael Garcia Bernal and most importantly Maribel Verdu is another coming of age film, but it is also so much more.

So why is this subject so interesting and erotic? For most of us, the late teens and 20’s were not erotic times. I personally struggled with guilt well into my 30’s as I tried to reconcile religion and sex. My best, most erotic sex is happening now and certainly was not happening when I was young. I believe my experience is common. So then, why is there such a focus in film on the teens and early 20’s?

In Y Tu Mama Tambien, we witness the ranging hormones of two teenage boys. The boys’ ultimate sexual fantasy will be experienced. An older, beautiful, attractive married woman will spend a holiday with them on a deserted Mexican beach teaching them the ways of lovemaking. One of her most memorable instructions to the boys was “you have to treat the clit as your friend.” The film has a very erotic three-some scene with an unanticipated ending. The boys become men sexually but are gifted with much more experiences along the way. The experiences lead the now men to make choices. We are taught throughout this film by a narrative, that life’s experiences lead to choices that lead to our character. So, maybe here is the answer to my question. We are drawn to coming of age erotic stories because they are a metaphor for how we continue to choose our character. Our choice in sex parallels our choices in life…. Or, maybe it’s only for the young bodies.

Y Tu Mama Tambien is an excellent, much talked about film, which was nominated for Best Foreign Film in 2001. Apart from the erotic story, the film’s cinematography captures the paradox of the beautiful yet impoverished Mexican coast. I strongly recommend this film. However, it is important to see the “UR” version rather than the “R” version. The erotic scenes cut from the “UR” are key to understanding the boys’ later life decisions. The “R” rated film not only cuts the erotic scenes but also some of the most explicate dialogue of sexual instruction.

Therese and Isabelle (1968)- UR

2006-02-10T10:29:00.000-05:00

For me, the recent film “My Summer of Love” was a disappointment. Films of young girls coming of age through a love affair carry a classic erotic story yet often turn out to be poor in story line or erotic content. The nearly 40 year-old film, “Therese and Isabelle” is an exception. This black and white film is very erotic in truly a unique way.

The story is about a woman who returns to her boarding school for a visit. The school is on semester break and therefore she wanders the castle-like facility alone remembering her adolescents. Her memories are of her lover, Isabelle. What makes this film so erotic is not the brief nudity or pictures of their lovemaking. It is rather the narrative. At the point where she remembers an erotic encounter with Isabelle the film shifts to a third person narrative that is part poetry, part sonnet, but fully explicit and very beautifully erotic. This erotic narrative plus gorgeous back and white cinematography makes this classic film well worth seeing.

Eyes Wide Shut (1999)- R

2006-01-31T12:34:00.000-05:00

Have you ever imagined your partner (spouse, lover) in the arms of someone else? Have you then, ever felt aroused by the idea but then also scared by the idea? Sometimes the very hidden sexual secrets and wishes we hold become a toxic mixture of desire and nightmare. These very hidden fantasies we hold can feel like an addiction that crosses the line from pleasure to painful obsession. This sounds like a sermon from the conservative Christians. Actually, it is the theme of "Eyes Wide Shut," a riveting and yes, highly erotic film of Stanley Kubrick staring (who else but) Tom Cruse and Nicole Kidman.

Nichole Kidman starts the movie with a full screen nude scene displaying her now famous statuesque body as she dresses for a party. She ends the movie by whispering into the ear of her husband played by Tom Cruise, "you know really what we need to do immediately?.., we just need to go fuck." Between these two scenes we are treated to 2 hours and 36 minutes of real and imaginary sexual tension. The film follows a wealthy New York doctor and his wife as they deal with infidelity. The story starts with flirtations at a party that then leads to the discloses of past secrets and then to nightmare erotic / life threatening experiences. However, maybe the nightmares were only imaginary.

Stanley Kubrick films are mixtures of detailed cinematography (remember the spaceship in "2001" and the milk bar in "Clockwork Orange") and wandering plots. His plots raise more questions than they resolve. So it is with "Eyes Wide Shut," we are unsure if the terror from infidelity was real or a panic attach. What we know is that we are left with an excellent film about sex and eroticism. We are also left with some of the most explicit nude scenes of a top box office star, Nicole Kidman.

The Lifestyle: Swinging in America (2000)- Documentary

2006-01-22T20:01:00.000-05:00

This film has received significant press reviews in the commercial newspapers. Some reviews note that the documentary portrays swingers as “often times lonely people that value their marriage relationships, people who are oftentimes overweight and oftentimes over 50.” It is for these reasons that I recommend this film, particularly for couples considering the lifestyle.

The fact that people are taken back with how average and flawed swingers are, reflect more on our notions of sexuality than on this alternative lifestyle. We, of course, see HBO specials and PLAYBOY Channel specials where young models romp from “group sex room” to “group sex room” at swinging resorts. However, I think the source for the misconception about the swinging lifestyle is not from media coverage but from our own “heads”. Rather that this being a group of beautiful self-actualized people, it turns out these are people who simple enjoy a variety in sex partners and also tend to be older. In our “heads” we struggle to understand sex with older, not so beautiful, people.

The film is not erotic. If anything it inaccurately minimizes the erotic pleasure couples gain from swinging. However, it does tell real stories of couples through an interview format over a 16-month period. The film shows some couples that report their relationships were hurt by swinging. The film then shows other couples that report their marriages were saved by swinging. Some couples thoroughly enjoy their new freedom to be nude, erotic and very sexual with others without threatening their marriages. Other couples are visibly disturbed when faced with the reality of watching their marriage partner sexually intimate with another. To this end, the film accurate reflects this lifestyle.

Emily and I have been active in this lifestyle for over 15 years. We have gained wonderful life long friends. Oh.., and by the way, the sex has been good too.

Better than Chocolate (1999)- R

2006-01-22T11:56:00.000-05:00

"Better than Chocolate" Rated R, 1999 102 minutesI have never seen a food movie I haven't liked and have enjoyed chocolate movies best of all. This is the sexiest funny movie (and the funniest sexy movie) I have ever seen. Maggie is a beautiful young woman living in a gay/lesbian neighborhood, who is trying to come out to her mother, but just can't quite figure out how to do it. Her mother is at the end of a bad relationship, desperately needs a place to live, and invites herself and her high school age son to live with Maggie and her new lover. There is evidence everywhere, but her mother takes forever to catch on. Maggie's brother, on the other hand, catches on right away and fully appreciates that his life has suddenly become more interesting. This movie is a demonstration of my theory that no one has a "normal" sex life. My favorite supporting character is the transsexual (played by the straight actor, Peter Outerbridge) who falls for Maggie's lesbian boss, and who sings the ever popular "I'm Not a Fucking Drag Queen" at the Cat's Ass club. The director's notes indicate that most of the cast and crew are from the lesbian community, so all the odd situations and humor are done with an insider's eye in a respectful way. There are some very sexy but tasteful scenes. Colorful sex toys are used in this film in much the same way as daffodils might be used in a Jane Austin movie. Highly recommended.
Doug

This is a fun and very enjoyable film. I found it less erotic than "Like Water for Chocolate (1992)", but in many ways more fun. I agree with Doug and would highly recommend it.
Paul

The Joys of Erotic Massage (Educational)

2006-01-01T16:55:00.000-05:00

This is a highly glossy “how to” video. The film follows three couples through the steps of giving and receiving erotic massage. The couples, though young and attractive do not seem like actors but rather like real couples enjoying the sensual delights of erotic pleasure. One particularly erotic sequence demonstrates how hair, breasts and other “non-hands” body parts can be used for erotic massage. The video can be purchased for under $40. A note about the Sinclair Institute. They offer many other erotic videos, vibrators and other lovemaking aids. Generally, their quality is high, however their erotic fiction video seems more “clinical” than erotic. The video can also be purchased through one of my favorite web sites http://www.holisticwisdom.com/index.htm .
Holisticwisdom in addition to offering a full line of sex products and videos, provides a excellent resource for information about sex.

Emmanuelle (1974)-NR

2006-01-01T16:45:00.000-05:00

The Joys of a Woman; The original Emmanuelle produced in the 1970’s still remain some of the most erotic filmmaking produced. The original erotic classic stars sultry Sylvia Kristel in the title role of the love-starved and sexually frustrated wife of a French embassy official in Thailand. Emmanuelle always follows an odyssey to explore--and shatter--the frontiers of her sexuality with a variety of male and female lovers. Joys of a Woman stars Laura Gemser, Sylvia Kristel, Caroline Laurence and Umberto Orsini. In French with English subtitles or dubbing. One of the most classic erotic scenes is the erotic massage sequent where the stars receive erotic body massages from Thai women. These films are shown late night on cable or rented at the local video store.

9 Songs (2004)-NR

2005-12-23T11:35:00.000-05:00

Let’s talk about the sex in 9 Songs, and there is a lot of it! In fact, of the 1 hour and 11 minutes approximately 65% of the movie is lovemaking between the only two actors Lisa (Margo Stilley) and Matt (Kieran O’Brien). The sex is hot and gets more and more graphic as the film progresses. Rarely in a soft-porn film do we get to see a penis. Rarely in an “X” rated film do we get to see a penis (really) ejaculate. I have never seen an uncircumcised penis in a film (maybe I’ve just lived a sheltered life). With this film we are treated to all of this and more.

9 Songs is a story about a brief affair between two young people. The film follows the couples to rock concerts, follows them to bed, follows them back to rock concerts, follows them to bed.., well, you get the idea. The film has an occasional segment where we follow Matt to his work in Antarctica as a Glaciologist.

I found the sex erotic, though the couple seems pressured to always find something new to try. We wonder if the couple has anything else in their relationship. We also wonder if they are growing bored with each other. This has left other film reviewers to describe the sex as boring and monotonous. I think rather the sex is realistic of a relationship that is growing monotonous. However, there are hints at the film’s end that the couple may have some “feelings” for each other. This is a film by Michael Witherbottom who also directed the acclaimed film “In This World.” Michael Winterbottom makes films that feel more like documentaries and are in the style of “A Dinner With André.”

I enjoyed the film especially when I stopped looking for a traditional storyline. The film is sexual outside the tradition of soft porn or “X” rated. The film is about sex and is well worth seeing.

Secretary (2002)-R

2005-12-22T14:56:00.000-05:00

Secretary is a movie on many lists for “favorite sex films.” For ‘submission and domination” and “spanking” fans the film is a must see. It has a very erotic spanking scene that comes with high marks and in fact, leaves marks. Even as a person who is not a fan of such menu, I found the scene erotic. The film also has a closing 5-minutes of sex that is well photographed and erotic. The S & M and other scenes therefore qualify for a review on this blog. The film however is otherwise flawed. It has a very slow start despite a good performance by Maggie Gyllenhal. The film struggles between sometimes being a comedy and sometimes a drama, but in the “end” the only “mark” it hits is Ms. Gyllenhal’s ass.

Secretary is about a woman recently released from an institution with a compulsion to cut herself. The woman is hired by a compulsive and overbearing attorney (James Spader). The secretary and attorney are drawn to an erotic S & M and spanking relationship. Despite the erotic spanking scenes, the film struggles with how to portray this lifestyle. Is it a legitimate erotic lifestyle or a form of mental illness? The film is conflicted. For a truly erotic and excellent film on this subject see “Urban Friction” by Libido Films.
Paul

RE "Secretary":This is a story about two extremely off beat people who have off beat needs. Maggie Gillenthal plays a young woman who is just out of secretarial school, and apparently, just out of some kind of therapy. She has serious self-image problems and has some self-destructive tendencies. James Spader plays an attorney who has poor interpersonal skills and is having trouble keeping secretaries; he is a bit of a bully. She is driven to succeed at this, her first job, which any one with experience, would quickly abandon. There is much strange conflict, until the attorney calls her into his office to reprimand her for making a typographical error. He gives her a spanking, which she discovers to her liking. The movie goes on from there to become even stranger, as the two characters explore their new relationship and help each other with their problems. There is scene with tasteful nudity.
A warning: If you are disturbed by self-destructive behavior, parts of the first half of this movie may be troubling to you. Just stick it out, and you will find that things begin to look up.
Doug

Head in the Clouds (2004)-R

2005-12-09T12:44:00.000-05:00

This is a movie that contains two stories. The first is a story about a love triangle. The second is story about a woman who uses sex to advance her wealth and profession.

Have you ever loved two or more people at once and wished that it could workout? I loved Mary from Chicago when I was in high school and early college. I later loved Janet during graduate school at Carbondale, Illinois. I also loved Emily, who I eventually married. During the 1970’s I fantasized that Mary, Janet and Emily would fall in love with each other. This was not a lesbian erotic fantasy (that would come later). This was the only logical formula I could conceive of to solve the problem of loving two (or more) people. Surprise! It never happen. In the first story in “Head in the Clouds” it did happen. Gilda, played by Charilize Theron is the daughter of a wealthy European businessman in the late 1930’s who ends up loving two people. One is a handsome Irish man Guy, played by Stuart Townsend. He is committed to fighting against Franco in the Spanish civil war. The other is Mia, played by Penelope Cruz, a nurse and confidante. Gilda loves, not warm affection loves but erotic sexually loves, both people. Guy and Mia have the warm affection for each other and are happy to share a three-some bed together as long as they can love Gilda. Gilda suggests that Guy and Mia have a baby. Clearly Gilda was reading my playbook of the early 1970’s, for truly this was the solution to turn a love “V” into a love “triangle.” The baby does not happen but the love triangle does.

The second story is about Gilda, her courting of Nazi generals, her double life as an English spy and her tastes for the very finest wines, dresses and parties. We follow her as she achieves wealth and prestige in her “business”, in part, by freely exchanging her sexual skills with her clients. Nowhere do we get a sense that this is a hardship for Gilda. She clearly enjoys erotic pleasure and freely shares it to gain personal wealth and a luxury lifestyle during the darkest days of the Nazi occupation of Paris.

I thoroughly enjoyed this film and so did Emily, my wife. The photography of Paris and Europe, along with the period costumes, is spectacular. The photography and costumes are worth seeing this film even if you hate everything else. The sex scenes were photographed well, but seemed more playful than erotic. The Netflix audience rates this film at almost four stars whereas the professional critics, with the exception of Roger Ebert, disliked the film (rottentomato web site of 14% approval). Emily believes this is because the critics are primarily men. This is a film about a very strong woman, Gilda. She owns her own sexuality despite her freely sharing it with others. She has her own compass and does not melt in the arms of Guy, even though she truly loves him. In fact, she does the most paradoxical action by encouraging Guy to truly fall in love with another women, therefore hoping to “have it all.”

Xana & Dax: When Opposites Attract (2005)-X

2005-11-30T13:45:00.000-05:00

Frequently, X-rated erotic films show exotic and outlandish sex. This is the type of sex that is rarely if ever experienced in real life. Sometimes, this sex is even rarely fantasized. Examples of such sex scenes include fisting, threesomes, multiple men coming on a women’s face, etc. I would characterize many of these X-rated films as more in the “exotic” category than “erotic.” Furthermore, nearly all X-rated films tell stories of chance meetings that are follow immediately with sex.

Xana & Dax is a refreshingly different X-rated movie. This film is produced by Comstock Films that advertises “real people, real life, real sex.”
http://www.comstockfilms.com/ They certainly deliver on that promises with this high quality and very stylish film. Xana & Dax are not acting. They are real people in a real marriage. Through a dialogue format they tell us why they like each other as people and as lovers. They tell us how they met, when they first made love (not their first date) and what they like about each other’s bodies. The film presents a story of a highly sexual married couple. The viewer is led to believe that there are only two outlandish aspects of the couple’s erotic life. One is that they are performing their lovemaking on film, for us. The other is the beautiful full body tattoo worn by Xana.

This highly erotic film is well photographed and edited. In addition to real people having real sex, we are treated to a real story of how a relationship started and continues. The film can be rented from Good Vibrations for $7.24 including postage both ways.
http://www.goodvibes.com/AgeConfirmation.aspx
I highly recommend this film. Emily and I were only able to get through about 20 minutes of the film without “mirroring” their performance.

The Mother (2003)-R

2005-11-28T18:36:00.000-05:00

The Mother (2003) is a bold, provocative and groundbreaking film. It is superbly filmed and acted. It is the story of a widow who returns to live with her troubled children. In an attempt to mediate her daughter’s affair with a married handyman, the Mother has her own sexual affair with this same man. This one film takes on the issues of dying, family dysfunction, elder sexuality and cross-generational sexuality. The sex is graphic and erotic. My only criticism is that perhaps the film tried to do too much.

The film explores the erotic rebirth of an older woman after the death of her husband. Her erotic passions are ignited within the family and ultimately lead to a family crisis. Nonetheless, we are challenged by the glimpse of erotic healing and how sexuality can be a path of renewal.

The Holy Land (2003)-R

2005-11-28T18:27:00.000-05:00

The Holy Land (2003) is a film that is disconnected with many hard to follow characters and with an ending that can best be described as unsettling. Nonetheless. I highly recommend this movie. The film takes on arguably the two most important issues of the early 21st Century, namely religious fundamentalism and sexuality. The film is about a Rabbi student in Jerusalem who is distracted from his religious studies by masturbation. A senior Rabbi teacher recommends he seek out a prostitute as a means to “cleanse” these obsessions. However, once he leaves the safety of his protected world and protected worldviews, he becomes immersed in the contradictions of religious order verses the spiritual-sexual journeys of others. The film brilliantly uses foreground-background filming to mix the themes of religion and sexuality. In one scenes a prostitute naps on the roof of a Jerusalem building with the background of “The Dome of the Rock” (one of the most sacred sites of Islam), in another scene a bar owner wakes up from a drinking-sexual binge overlooking the “Waling Wall”, in a third scene the prostitute and Rabbi student walk hand in hand outside the Church of the Sepulchre (the site of Jesus’ crucifixion) and finally a long close up shot of a young ascetic Jewish woman’s nipple as she is preparing to nurse her infant. These scenes are not presented in an offensive manner but more as passing observations. Despite the flaws of this film, it is well worth seeing

My Best Friends Wife (2001)-R

2005-11-28T18:18:00.000-05:00

This is really a pretty good movie. It is about “swinging,” (not the dance, but..) sexually sharing spouses. The film is about two lifelong friends and their wives who feel bored with life, and try “wife swapping” as a way out of their malaise. It is not erotic but at times, very funny. This movie captures a very powerful, unanticipated emotion when married people (with spouses’ permission) are sexually intimate with people other then their spouses. Men (our experience), and depicted in this film, more often feel this unanticipated emotion. This feeling is a strong feeling of love (for their wives) – confusion – sexual inadequacy – and the need to compare their performance to their wives (new) partners. All these powerful feelings are mixed together! The paradox, of course, is that the men wanted to do this over their wives strong protest. Yet when the events actually happen the women let loose and enjoy it and the men end up with less enjoyment. We (my wife & I) have been in the “lifestyle” now for 20 years. I talked her into it, yet she had much more fun for the first few times than me. I suffered from “unanticipated emotions”. In the end, the movie and maybe real life shows women as initially more able to enjoy polyamorous lovers. We men can catch up. However, the bottom line is “be careful what you wish for”.

Malena (2000)-R

2005-11-28T18:07:00.000-05:00

When I was 12 years old I sold papers on a busy Chicago street corner. My school classmates would frequently come by at 5pm to watch a very special women. She was beautiful. She would walk by and smile only so slightly. This was a time when I could barely make any meaningful conversation with girls. Yet.., here was this 30 something, sexy women who would buy a Chicago Daily News, look me right in the eye, smile and say “thanks.” I would live for that 1-minute daily encounter. Malena is such a story. Malena is a story of a beautiful woman in a small Italian village during World War II and a 12-year-old boy. It is a story of a beautiful women and a boy that is trying to become a man. It carried all the humor and pain of “The Summer of ‘42”, but then takes a very strange twist. As in the “Summer of ‘42” it is first the awkward erotic scenes of a young boy that evolve to fantasies of saving this “damsel in distress.” Things then take a sad and painful twist. We all grow up a little as we all frantically calculate how we can truly rescue this damsel in distress. She remains beautiful but the story evolves into way more than an erotic fantasy. I truly enjoyed this movie. The cinematography was excellent. The story captured the complexity of a 12-year-old’s erotic fantasies in an often very un-erotic world.

Pretty Baby (1978)-R

2005-11-28T17:52:00.000-05:00

In a recent interview with Terry Gross, Brooke Shields recalled her controversial role as a prostitute in Pretty Baby. The sexuality was mild by today's standards, Brooke recalls. Well, full frontal nudity of a pre-adolescent girl would raise many eyebrows in today's anti-child pornography world. Yet, Brooke is right that the film's sexuality is mild because the sexuality of a 12-year-old is innocent. Brooks Shields is simply brilliant in her portrayal of a young girl being raised in a New Orleans brothel. She is brilliant because, her character is her. She is playing herself. Her character Violet is asked to pretend as if she is sexy, erotic and grown-up. Violet knows that she is smart and can catch on quickly to any make believe game. She also loves to be the center of attention. We, of course, are watching a real 12-year-old, who is smart, loves to play act and loves to be the center of attention, pretend as if she is sexy, erotic and grown-up. Reality mirrors fiction that then mirrors reality. However there's another reality mirrors fiction mirrors reality. Violet is parented and cared for by the group of women in a loving and paradoxically protective manner. Yet, her beauty and innocence are exploited. At the film's end we believe the caring overcame the exploitation. Brooks Shields has written extensively about her over-protective mother who paradoxically exploits the beauty and innocence of her daughter. Brooke tells Terry Gross, "now as a new mother myself, I can understand and maybe be more forgiving of the excesses of my own mother." The film captures the innocence of a girl in a very sexually charged world. It contains outstanding performances of both Brooke Shields and Susan Sarandon. Yet it also captures parenting lessons for today's sexually charged world.

9 1/2 Weeks (1986)-NR

2005-11-28T17:22:00.000-05:00

This is such an excellent film. The New York photography and cinematography of New York people alone is reason to see this film. Then there is sex. I believe the films of Adrian Lyne are able to explore erotic subjects beyond the reach of others. He is able to stretch the boundaries of an erotic topic without loosing the complexities. 9 ½ weeks is about the erotic tension of playing games of dominance. A viewer clearly sees the erotic tension and therefore pleasure from playing submission/dominance. Adrian Lyne asks the question “who says” & “how do you STOP.” As in most of his films, the women show powerful erotic pleasure but pull back from being consumed. His men are not always able to “stop.”

The Piano (1993)-R

2005-11-27T16:47:00.000-05:00

I watched The Piano recently and was reminded why it is one of my all time favorite films. There are so many levels of passion in this film. Jane Campion skillfully presents her film within the backdrop of Victorian anti-passion times of the late 1800’s. I have heard that the part of the brain that stimulates erotic passion is adjacent to the part that stimulates murderous rage. If so, this film demonstrates the fact. Sam Neill plays a farmer with passion only for hard work and puritan virtue. That is, until Holly Hunter, playing his betrothed wife comes into his life. Holly Hunter is passionate about her piano and the music it produces. Her passion turns erotic when seduced by her husband’s business partner. Sam Neill’s passion become erotic after discovering the affair and then turns murderous. I found this film both erotic and frightening. It demonstrates the intoxication of erotic passion and how it drives people to rage. The film is also hopeful because it shows that people can survive the rage. Holly Hunter, winning best actress, was brilliant in her role.

I, A Woman (1966)- UR

2005-11-27T11:04:00.000-05:00

I, A Woman is a 1966 film that has two themes about sex. The first theme of the film is about illicit sex. The second theme of the film is about feminism and sex. I found both to be very erotic. The film is in a wonderful black & white style that captures the tensions and discord of both stories.

There is a type of eroticism that is uncomfortable. A person feels tension and conflict with this type of eroticism. The very presence of conflict heightens the eroticism and passion. This is the eroticism of a secret affair. This is the eroticism of sex when it is against the rules. I, A Women captures this tension.

Siv (Essy Persson) is a young nurse from a religious family that is seduced by one of her older married patients. The patient is demanding both about his care and about his sexual interests. The film superbly captures the tension of Siv finding reasons to return time and time again to the patient’s room. The very fact that this is wrong makes the sex more passionate. What could happen if a woman really enjoys the eroticism and decides not to feel guilty or to be secretive about illicit sex? This is the second theme of the film as we follow Siv through three more affairs with older men. All four men have positions and power. However, it is Siv that is in control and moreover Siv that enjoys the sex. The film is certainly dated and has choppy dialogue at times. Nonetheless, it is erotic and has content apart from the sex.

Sound of the Sea- (2001)-R

2005-11-27T09:53:00.000-05:00

Sound of the Sea- (2001)-R
Leonor Watling plays a young wife to two husbands in this 2001 Spanish film. The file is set along the coast of Spain and captures the beauty of the Mediterranean Sea and small village life of Spain. Leonor plays Marina, a beautiful woman whose romantic bohemian first husband dies in a boating accident. Her second husband is wealthy and jealous. The film is a classic erotic – love story of a woman having two men, one that provides all the passion but is penniless and unreliable. The other man provides all the security but is cold and demanding. Marina, in a bizarre twist, is given the opportunity to have both men in her life without technically being unfaithful. This is because she funds herself married to two men. Nonetheless, the outcome is still tragic.
I found the film at times to be erotic. I guess I’m a sucker for loves scenes where one partner quotes poetry. I wish these erotic scenes were longer because otherwise the film was predictable.
The film, for me, provokes the question of why the “classic erotic” story is one that presents a conflict between passion and sensibility. Furthermore, the choice of passion inevitably ends in tragedy.

Bride of the Wind (2001)- R

2005-11-26T16:09:00.000-05:00

Bride of the Wind (2001)
There are times in history of renaissance, times of revival in learning and culture. These are times of scientific breakthrough, times of new thinking, times of the arts and times of sensuality. These are erotic times because of permission to indulge the senses. These are also erotic times because this freedom includes women, and women include their sexuality. There has been three renaissance periods in the last 120 years in Europe and America. These times were the turn of the century, the roaring 20’s and the 60’s. “The Bride of the Wind” is the story of Alma Schindler, played by Sarah Wynter, during the turn of the century. The “Bride of the Wind” is based on the real life story of the wife of Gustav Mahler, the early 20th century Vienna, composer. We follow Alma as this breeze lofts her into a number of erotic affairs, marriages and children, with some of the most creative artists of her time. Each of her lovers are intoxicated with her passion, sensuality and freedom. However, each unsuccessfully tries to “tie her down.”

I found the film very enjoyable. The sexual scenes were erotic and well photographed. The story captured the artistic and sexual freedom of the time. I believe the film captures one aspect of how periods of renaissance end. Men at first are delighted to be under the influence of highly erotic partners. However, this also becomes threatening. I have seen this reoccur in the swinging lifestyle of today; men frequently encourage their wives to enjoy the erotic pleasure of multiple partners only later to feel the need “tie her back down.” Alma in the “Bride of the Wind” showed the capacity to love a new partner while still holding on to the love for her former partners. I think this is true renaissance.